Six Years Sober. My Thoughts
Sober since October
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Six Years Sober. My Thoughts
Today I am six years sober.
When I woke up I started thinking about what I achieved during these six years. What I haven’t achieved yet. What goals are not relevant any longer.
When I was wrestling with my addiction, getting freedom from wine seemed to be an ultimate achievement.
If I could do this, I would be able to overcome anything. Sky would be the limit.
But suddenly all the limits which had been hiding deep inside rushed like skeletons out of the closet.
They kept and kept coming, and just wouldn’t stop.
First, I was irritated that sobriety didn’t magically solved all the issues in my life. That it was the first level to go through.
So, today I thought: “How many people whom I know and consider “normies” have achievements I am aiming for”.
Not so many, to my knowledge.
I’ve heard that you should only take advice from a person you are willing to trade places with. There’s some truth to this, I think.
“Normal” drinkers never had this problem, so, what’s standing in their way?
There must be something else.
I think this something else is process of overcoming itself.
It requires growth in every aspect of the life. It demands building emotional and psychological muscles to take my life apart and put it back together.
Human beings face multiple addictions of different kind and magnitude on a daily basis - be it sugar, comfort, sedentary life, social media, victim mentality, cigarettes, drama, favorite TV series, or anything else.
Every new phase of growth demands replacing old habits and thinking patterns with new ones. And getting sober teaches this like nothing else.
Above all quitting alcohol and alcohol-related lifestyle is one of the toughest tests for ability to walk away from what is “normal” and move towards what is best.
I often see the question on newcomers “Is X amount of alcohol too much?”.
Why should we even put a yardstick on this?
How is “too much” is measured? By a degree of hangover, amount of time spent next day feeling like crap?
When did we stop relying on our feelings as an accurate indicator of when enough is enough?
And the inner dialogue of comparing myself against some ever elusive “normal” and valuing myself based on this comparison is one of the most important elements to keep a close eye on, because it ultimately defines the quality of my overall well-being.
Sobriety opens doors which would be forever closed if I didn’t stop drinking. But it won’t do the walking for me, it’s my job to take what I’ve learned, to learn more, and get to the next level.
There are new fears and new challenges. Now, when I am not crippled by drinking, I can face them. I’ve faced a lot of fears. They didn’t kill me so far. It doesn’t mean it would be easy though.
It still feels like it was yesterday. Six years ago it was cold and rainy. Today it’s unbelievably warm and sunny. Beautiful day.
There are certain core principles which helped me a lot in my sobriety journey and proved to be useful for other life challenges. I’d like to share them:
- There will be never a perfect moment. Contemplating on a “good time to quit” is like negotiating with a blackmailer - he will never say “enough”, but will be demanding more.
- Focus on the next right move. Don’t freak out about “what if this or that happens”. By the time I face another challenge, I will gain more strength, resilience, and knowledge.
- Planning is a must. Our routines are landmined with automatic habits which we are not even aware of. Be proactive about them.
- Being part of community of like-minded people. I can’t say enough praise about SR in this matter. It became intrinsic part of my life.
I can talk about benefits of quitting alcohol regardless of how big or not so big drinking problem is.
But that will do for my soberversary post.
Thank you a lot, friends.
The day I joined this forum, I got a new life.
When I woke up I started thinking about what I achieved during these six years. What I haven’t achieved yet. What goals are not relevant any longer.
When I was wrestling with my addiction, getting freedom from wine seemed to be an ultimate achievement.
If I could do this, I would be able to overcome anything. Sky would be the limit.
But suddenly all the limits which had been hiding deep inside rushed like skeletons out of the closet.
They kept and kept coming, and just wouldn’t stop.
First, I was irritated that sobriety didn’t magically solved all the issues in my life. That it was the first level to go through.
So, today I thought: “How many people whom I know and consider “normies” have achievements I am aiming for”.
Not so many, to my knowledge.
I’ve heard that you should only take advice from a person you are willing to trade places with. There’s some truth to this, I think.
“Normal” drinkers never had this problem, so, what’s standing in their way?
There must be something else.
I think this something else is process of overcoming itself.
It requires growth in every aspect of the life. It demands building emotional and psychological muscles to take my life apart and put it back together.
Human beings face multiple addictions of different kind and magnitude on a daily basis - be it sugar, comfort, sedentary life, social media, victim mentality, cigarettes, drama, favorite TV series, or anything else.
Every new phase of growth demands replacing old habits and thinking patterns with new ones. And getting sober teaches this like nothing else.
Above all quitting alcohol and alcohol-related lifestyle is one of the toughest tests for ability to walk away from what is “normal” and move towards what is best.
I often see the question on newcomers “Is X amount of alcohol too much?”.
Why should we even put a yardstick on this?
How is “too much” is measured? By a degree of hangover, amount of time spent next day feeling like crap?
When did we stop relying on our feelings as an accurate indicator of when enough is enough?
And the inner dialogue of comparing myself against some ever elusive “normal” and valuing myself based on this comparison is one of the most important elements to keep a close eye on, because it ultimately defines the quality of my overall well-being.
Sobriety opens doors which would be forever closed if I didn’t stop drinking. But it won’t do the walking for me, it’s my job to take what I’ve learned, to learn more, and get to the next level.
There are new fears and new challenges. Now, when I am not crippled by drinking, I can face them. I’ve faced a lot of fears. They didn’t kill me so far. It doesn’t mean it would be easy though.
It still feels like it was yesterday. Six years ago it was cold and rainy. Today it’s unbelievably warm and sunny. Beautiful day.
There are certain core principles which helped me a lot in my sobriety journey and proved to be useful for other life challenges. I’d like to share them:
- There will be never a perfect moment. Contemplating on a “good time to quit” is like negotiating with a blackmailer - he will never say “enough”, but will be demanding more.
- Focus on the next right move. Don’t freak out about “what if this or that happens”. By the time I face another challenge, I will gain more strength, resilience, and knowledge.
- Planning is a must. Our routines are landmined with automatic habits which we are not even aware of. Be proactive about them.
- Being part of community of like-minded people. I can’t say enough praise about SR in this matter. It became intrinsic part of my life.
I can talk about benefits of quitting alcohol regardless of how big or not so big drinking problem is.
But that will do for my soberversary post.
Thank you a lot, friends.
The day I joined this forum, I got a new life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: CA
Posts: 967
I like what you said about sobriety opening up doors that drinking closes. This is very true. I am unable to do things when drinking that I really want to do. But it’s impossible because my body is poisoned.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Thanks midnight blue, as well as your input on what worked the main thing i, as a newbie, gets from your post is HOPE
I don’t know if you remember how hopeless it can feel at the beginning. We can’t do it - surely it’s impossible!!
Every time I read something from people sober for years it adds to my armoury of thinking maybe, just maybe, I can do this. No - I can do it....actually I WILL do it
Congrats
I don’t know if you remember how hopeless it can feel at the beginning. We can’t do it - surely it’s impossible!!
Every time I read something from people sober for years it adds to my armoury of thinking maybe, just maybe, I can do this. No - I can do it....actually I WILL do it
Congrats
Sober since October
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Originally Posted by Ben123 
I don’t know if you remember how hopeless it can feel at the beginning. We can’t do it - surely it’s impossible!!
I do remember how it feels.
I remember being a week, two weeks sober and reading posts from people having months and years under their belt and thinking "They are just different. They are a totally different breed. They don't understand. I am sure I will never be able to enjoy life without wine as they do".
It's really fun to do things they you thought were impossible. It's exciting.
Best wishes to you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Haha yes or, ‘This person didn’t drink as much as me - they’re not a PROPER alcoholic’ . My AV tries that one all the time to convince me I’m a lost cause and there’s no point keeping on
Congrats again
Congrats again
Originally Posted by MidnightBlue
Thank you, Ben.
I do remember how it feels.
I remember being a week, two weeks sober and reading posts from people having months and years under their belt and thinking "They are just different. They are a totally different breed. They don't understand. I am sure I will never be able to enjoy life without wine as they do".
It's really fun to do things they you thought were impossible. It's exciting.
Best wishes to you!
I do remember how it feels.
I remember being a week, two weeks sober and reading posts from people having months and years under their belt and thinking "They are just different. They are a totally different breed. They don't understand. I am sure I will never be able to enjoy life without wine as they do".
It's really fun to do things they you thought were impossible. It's exciting.
Best wishes to you!
Sober since October
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Myth!
Always great to see you, Octsobermate!
Yes, it's surely great feeling which becomes better and better with every year.
Congrats on your six years too!
Always great to see you, Octsobermate!
Yes, it's surely great feeling which becomes better and better with every year.
Congrats on your six years too!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
