rayna87

I want so badly to be back here. I’ve had a horrible couple of months. My drinking problem is the partying side of it....I don’t “have” to or “need” to drink, but the minute a friend is doing anything, particularly anything remotely sports related, or watching a game down the street, or doing anything remotely out of the ordinary....i see that as that “one excuse” that I’ll do just “this one time”. It doesn’t help anything that still 4 years later, I’m still trying to find my place here where I moved to from my hometown , but unfortunately all the places/people I’ve found/know, all circle back to drinking. I don’t know what else to do.

Dee74

Hi Rayna

Yeah I had to make some pretty hard choices. I didn't want to be a drunk, but all my friends drank and my life was all about drinking, and I knew once I started drinking I couldn't stop.

In the end I had to completely change my life.

I thought that would be a horrible boring and painful existence - but although it was hard to change initially, it's not any of those things at all.

I still have friends - largely not the same ones, but they;re better IMO. I still have fun - not the same kind of fun, but again - it's an authentic kind of fun that I don't feel ashamed about weeks later.

I feel like I'm the real me again and I'm so glad I realised the need for me to change my life, It's worked out great - I hope you'll decide to give yourself that same chance

D

doggonecarl

Not sure why you have to tell us you don't "need" to drink. Are you thinking that since you don't need to drink, that quitting should be easy and that failure to quit frustrates you?

Frankly, an honest assessment of your drinking might be a good place to start. First off, you don't just drink to party. Read through your past threads. You drink if you have a bad day at work, if work stresses you; you've called your dad a trigger.

You do need to drink. To cope. Is that "addicted" to alcohol? Are you dependent? Who knows...or cares. Keep drinking and you will be.

Take drinking off the table, completely. No excuses, no "last times" that you'll turn to alcohol. Quit and start learning how to cope with life sober.

plop

I guess that's one of the problems with us alcoholics. We live in a world full or drinking and even when we know the harm our drinking causes, we often choose drinking because it's familiar and everyone around us drinks.

When we try to get sober, we are required to do something we're not familiar with, and that's downright scary. But it's worth it.

least

For me, it was as simple as wanting to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Not easy, but simple.

DontRemember

Whatta ya gonna do about it? Keep going out and drinking when there's a game on? sorry,but I'd go to the bar to watch a little leauge game when I was drinking.. You're going to have to own your stuff and do some serious work towards changing your life. That also includes dumping the drinking buddies you think are your friends. They're not..You've mentioned them before,so...that'd be my step#2 after step#1.. stopping drinking.

theVman31

All good posts here.
I was stuck in the cycle for over 20 years.
Find excuses to drink is the easiest thing in the world for us.
Beating the obsession to drink now that takes courage and hard work.
But it is possible

You can do it Rayna, we all can. Stick around, post your progress and join a few recurrent threads. Dont be shy, let it flow....

Kdon853

Hi Rayna,
I was a bar drinker, loved going to watch football every Sunday from 1 to 8ish. My circle of friends were there , guys who I knew for 30 yrs. my whole social life revolved around drinking.
When I put the drink down some people faded away which was ok, hurts at first but you get used to it. I still see others whether it be at gatherings or playing golf. People still drink, I’m ok with. I’ve drank my quota, I abused it and it abused me.
I don’t go to the bars anymore usually have football on the backyard tv and I keep myself busy and it is so satisfying.
You have to put the plug in the jug and change your people, places and things. It’s very difficult at first but things get so much better. The real friends reconnect the bar guys don’t reconnect but that’s ok. You’ll realize it. I’m babbling sorry good luck

tekink

I had to stop doing all of those things for a long time. So long, in fact, that after I while I didn't miss any of that stuff at all.

I am a huge bar person. My whole life has been hanging out in bars and night clubs. I like bars so much my wife and I opened a nice cushy wine bar/lounge a while back.

If I can do it anyone can!

bluedog1997

Thanks for posting rayna. I too have struggled for many years with alcohol. I was once a bar drinker and it devolved into more of a “problem” drinker.

I hope you can find some other outlets for entertainment. Im stuck in that rut too for so long thinking drinking is the only way to have fun. I realize that’s gotta change.

I hope u find the help you need

Jim1958

I was a bar drinker. There was a bar on the way home from work, I knew the bartenders and they had 10 cent wings. The place was a daily stop. I think changing your lifestyle is the most important thing. Get away from bars, the people and focus on change. I had to stop going to bars, and actually after awhile I felt like I had been in enough of them. Difficult, but it can be done. Good luck to you.

DreamCatcher17

Get new friends!

rayna87

Not babbling....thank you, I appreciate it very much.

rayna87

So much easier said than done, but thank you.

Jules714

It is easier said than done to get new friends. But it's very easy to leave these friends behind.
I have a sober friend who just spent some time in the hospital having both hips replaced. Tons of us took turns visiting him in the hospital. Know who didn't show? His pals from the bar. Not one of them even once. Food for thought.
You can totally do this and I'm not sure anyone has ever regretted getting sober.
Jules

Nonsensical

It's OK to do hard things.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

DreamCatcher17

I did it, so I am totally aware of the challenge. I'll tell ya my new friend's don't tempt me to drink, they aren't at bar's or involve themselves in the party scene. These new friends are 100000000 time's better for me and in return I'm a great friend to them.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Seems like you wanted to blame your friends for drinking. If you can't replace them, which is still a good idea. Work harder on you and your sobriety.
It only works if you work it and honestly want it! Blessings to you

Giggler4life

I feel you. I moved away from my family and fell into a crowd of constant social drinkers. I'm rooting for you!

rayna87

Thank you very much

PhoenixJ

Meetings, counselling and journaling help me.

Support to you.

Also- avoid those who drink lots.