ransby

Well I would like to start by saying that I am very grateful to my wife for putting up with me. I need a question answered right off the top. I had six years clean without the help of NA or any other rehab program.In May of this year I relapsed. My family and friends told me that the reason I went back to using was because I wanted to.I seem to think that there were some other factors that swent me back. I need some feedback on this. Also I need some advice on how do I get myself back on right track. I don't want to use.My wife,mom and dad,and many other family members say that the only reason a person uses drugs is because they want to.(All of them are non users of drugs) Is that true? Or would it be more correct to say that there are motivating circumstances that bring the to mind?

Time2Surrender

I dont really know about all that,but I didnt ever decide one day "Hmmm,I think I will become a drug addict.I will blow all my money,lose my job,get to visit jails across the country,ruin my health,and hurt my family and friends." I believe addiction is a disease.Not everyone who tries or uses alcohol or drugs has this disease.Unfortunatly I do.I dont know you,so I dont know why you relapsed.Think back about what was going on when you relapsed.Were you under more stress than usaull? Working too hard? A lot of things can bring this on and everyone is a little different.Relapse Triggers For me it has always been a combination of things.Not going to meetings regularly,depression,basicly not wanting to face my problems or fears and needing an escape.Why? Because I had stopped working the steps.For me to stay clean and sober,I need help.Thats why I go to AA and NA.Anyway,Im sure some people will be along shortly with much better advice than mine.So,I just want to also welcome you to SoberRecovery.This is a really cool and great place.There are a lot of nice people hear and plenty of support.

Ama

I know from the AA meetings that I have attended that they do say we plan ahead. For me that is true insofaras I stopped going cause I didnt want to hear, it was uncomfortable.
Why was it uncomfortable - well lets see - cause I was planning on drinking again to be completely honest.
And thus distanced myself from recovery and back to the bottle(s)????
What a clever girl I am NOT! Luvs Ama

Dan

Hi ransby, and welcome.
What your family is telling you is true, but I would phrase it this way...
You had a choice to use or not use. You made the choice.
I chose to drink and drug all those years because I believed that to do so would either make me happier, help me avoid feeling the way I felt, or both.
After a few months of abstinence, I now know that it was an illusion.
I'm an average person in most respects.
I'm also an addict. The only motivating circumstance I need to drink or use is my own thinking.

ted

WELCOME RANSBY,6 YEARS IS A LONG TIME,WHAT WERE YOU DOING THAT HELPED YOU STAY CLEAN?
I CAN BLAME PEOPLE OR SITUATIONS FOR MY USE,
BUT IT COMES DOWN TO ME TO MAKE THE DECISION TO USE OR NOT.
I TRIED FOR YEARS TO STAY CLEAN AND SOBER USING MY OWN WILL POWER.
UTIMATLEY I HAD TO ASK FOR AND ACCEPT HELP FROM OTHERS JUST LIKE ME.
I USE A.A. AND N.A.,SO MUCH EASIER THAN TRYING TO GO IT ALONE.
STAY STONG,GLAD YOUR HERE...................ted :rambo:

exlibris

Hey Ransby!

Richard here, alcoholic.

Whenever I relapsed, well at least most of the time, I slowly talked myself into to it, and honestly it was because I was feeling good. I was in a comfortable place and I started letting my guard down.

There's always that little voice in my head that says it's OK to drink. "Go ahead and reward yourself. You deserve a couple." Well, that couple ALWAYS turned into a dozen or more and it would last awhile.

Someone posted here that alcoholism is a disease. It's only goal is to kill you.
That really hit me. It wants me dead. I'm not going to let it do that to me.

I think that no matter how long that you're sober, you always have work on staying sober. That's perhaps the biggest thing that I've learned from this site. It's not just not drinking. It's helping others like I've been helped, it's taking care of yourself emotionally, spiritually, and physically. And all that is hard work. But the work is always worth it.

I never want to go back to the way I was. But I deal with this one day at a time.

If you think that you might use/drink, call someone. I believe that this is something you can't do alone.

Good Luck!

Richard

Phinneas

Hi Ransby and welcome. There is a big difference between being sober and being in recovery. Being sober means that I am not drinking or using. Being in recovery means that I am learning to live life on life's terms while not drinking or using. I was clean for 7 months, but not working a program of recovery. I was miserable every one of those days. Yup, I relapsed. The difference now is that I am working a program of recovery. For me, it is not helpful to talk with people who are not addicted about my situation. It IS helpful to talk to other addicts and alcoholics because they have been there and they understand what I am going through. So, in my experience, I cannot do it alone, but I CAN do this with the help and support of others in the program. I don't know your reasons for doing it without AA/NA, but I wonder if now is the time you might reconsider?

jojo

ransby

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ransby

I have been working 50 to 60 hours a week.Ihave not had a lot of time for myself.But I did learn something from all this.Even though I was clean for 6 years I am still sick.I got away from what helped me the most.GOD!!!!!! I stopped looking to him for my help and started thinking I am alright.Leaning on my own understanding and not his.For right now I just take it one day at a time.

ransby

Thank you for your reply. Ihave tried NA and AA meetings and sometimes they were helpful.But I found that at most of the meetings the leads most always were about the persons past drinking and drugging experiences.Maybe its me but I then start reliving in my mind my experiences.I would be fooling myself with my warped thinking.So I got involved with a local church of which the Pastor and most all the members were recovering drunks and addicts.They taught me how to rely on GOD and not myself.I just needed to stay on GOD daily.I beleive that with my job demanding 50 to 60 hours a week from me and my wife demanding my time to do work around the house that Ipushed GOD down on my list of priorities.I forgot where I came from.I forgot where GOD had brought me from.

Time2Surrender

ransby,welcome back.I am glad to see you here again.The drunk a logs and war stories were probably new comers sharing.Most of the people who have been around a while will share about their experience,strength,and hope.How they are dealing with their problems clean and sober,or what ever the topic may be that day.Also,each meeting is different.Each group is different.I have heard the exact same things you atre talking about.I have listened to people tell all their drinking and using stories,talk about their jobs,relationships,past due bills etc.I remember a young woman one night that went on and on about her pet rat and his new cage for at least 10 minutes.But,she needed to be at that meeting and if thats what it took for her to stay clean and sober that day,then its all good with me.Today,I try and take what I need and leave the rest.Also I learned that there is way more to this than just going to meetings.I need a sponser and I also need to work the 12 steps.AA is not for everyone.And there are a few other programs out there.Another one you might wanna check out is Overcomers http://www.overcomersoutreach.org/page3.htmlWell,I rambled on enough.Good luck,and keep us posted.

Moontime

Moontime addict here. You had 6 months absitence from drugs. Abstinence is the key to recovery but you were not in recovery. Because in Recovery and Relapse it tells us that NO ONE has ever failed to find recovery or ever relapsed living the NA way of life. See we can only keep what we have by giving it away, if I'm not going to meetings giving back what was so freely given to me, I'm going to use. As for your question about the relapse. We are addicts we use. Dancers dance, singers sing, boxers box, addicts use. But, it's about doing something different today, it's about living the NA way of life through the 12 steps, so I can cope with life without using, no matter what.