Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Reload this Page >

Told by my doctor I have to give up completely. Got drunk for the last time.



Notices

Told by my doctor I have to give up completely. Got drunk for the last time.

Old 10-05-2018, 05:44 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Guest
Thread Starter
 
sweetichick's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Told by my doctor I have to give up completely. Got drunk for the last time.

Actually I don't even think I am drunk. Not sleepy or out of it. My doctor who I have seen twice this week said due to extensive scarring, severe stomach cramps and elevated liver function tests I have to give up forever. I had a full abdominal ultrasound yesterday. So that's it give up or develop cirrhosis and die. My choice. Why I drank today I don't know. Shock that this is it. I told the bottle shop staff I can't drink anymore. So I am stuck in AA forever much to my grief. I still have intense doubts about it but the meetings are helping. I got some sober time up. So here's to day one again in an hour.
sweetichick is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 06:22 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Re-Tread
 
Fallow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Sweetichick I wish you the best of luck and I am sorry to hear your health is not 100 percent.

One of the things I would do in the past with drinking is quit by drinking more. It sounds ridiculous but I would say I will quit on sunday (cause thats the beginning of the week) and then I would drink my face off saturday night. Of course everything changed then.

I was blacked out but I wanted to 'remember' my last drink.

Or I wanted my last drink to be with so and so.

Or I might as well clean out those special bottles I have been saving.

Or I wanted a bourbon to be it instead of a beer.

I wanted my sobriety date to be a certain number.

I need to spend my last coupon at the liquor store first.

And as long as day one was in the future instead of right now, I could never get sober. My external circumstances no matter how bad they got failed to even get me going. I finally had to say forget all of that and just quit.

The guys and gals at the bottle shop dont miss me I'm sure.

Hope you can stay on day 1 today and grind it out.
Fallow is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 06:24 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
orderfororder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 154
Good luck, sweetichick. Perhaps if you feel so much grief about AA, you can try a different meeting? I'm not sure what options you have in your area.

I'm sorry to hear about your physical ailments. In many cases, that damage can be undone after you develop enough sober time. The body can be remarkably resilient. The same applies to your grief about sobriety in general.

Keep trying. Best of luck. There is a lot of light on the other side.
orderfororder is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 06:29 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Fearlessat50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Right here, right now
Posts: 3,945
Sweetichick, Ditto what Fallow said.

Life is so much better on the sober side. I hope you can find it before it’s too late.
Fearlessat50 is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 07:15 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,325
Sweeti, I don't know what to say anymore. I don't think you could have been shocked with what the doctor told you. I think you must have suspected as much. And, still you chose to drink. If meetings are helping, be grateful for that. We're here for you.
Anna is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 08:41 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by sweetichick View Post
Actually I don't even think I am drunk. Not sleepy or out of it. My doctor who I have seen twice this week said due to extensive scarring, severe stomach cramps and elevated liver function tests I have to give up forever. I had a full abdominal ultrasound yesterday. So that's it give up or develop cirrhosis and die. My choice. Why I drank today I don't know. Shock that this is it. I told the bottle shop staff I can't drink anymore. So I am stuck in AA forever much to my grief. I still have intense doubts about it but the meetings are helping. I got some sober time up. So here's to day one again in an hour.
Sorry to hear that Sweetichick, but to be honest I'd have to agree with Anna. Nothing your doctor has told you this time is different than you've already been told by him multiple times.

I think it's very important that you typed the words "My choice" above -and that's why I bolded them. It is truly your choice. And I hope you can make the right one.
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 09:05 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
orderfororder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 154
Originally Posted by Anna View Post
Sweeti, I don't know what to say anymore. I don't think you could have been shocked with what the doctor told you. I think you must have suspected as much. And, still you chose to drink. If meetings are helping, be grateful for that. We're here for you.
I'm sorry, but how is this helpful? People on this forum seem to go back and forth between whether or not this is a disease or a choice. That lack of internal consistency is itself a problem for people who are in the throes of addiction is it not?

Again, I don't mean to disrespect you or anybody who agrees with you. But what I'm seeing is an attempt to use shame as a motivator for change, when those feelings of shame might be what turns certain people straight back to their addiction in the first place.
orderfororder is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 09:09 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
NerfThis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 513
Sweeti, very sorry to hear what you were told, but remember that by not drinking any more you absolutely cannot make the situation worse. It's now time to get some decent sober time under your belt. The more time you give yourself, the clearer your mind will become and you'll see other positive changes. Look after yourself and hit these boards whenever you are struggling and need support .
NerfThis is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 09:20 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
You have to put the brakes(emergency brake even) on your drinking and excuses you use to drink,if you want to get better. No one is going to get you sober..just like no people/place/thing(s) make you drink...it is ALL YOU, so it's up to you to change it...if you want to.
DontRemember is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 09:26 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,325
Originally Posted by orderfororder View Post
I'm sorry, but how is this helpful? People on this forum seem to go back and forth between whether or not this is a disease or a choice. That lack of internal consistency is itself a problem for people who are in the throes of addiction is it not?

Again, I don't mean to disrespect you or anybody who agrees with you. But what I'm seeing is an attempt to use shame as a motivator for change, when those feelings of shame might be what turns certain people straight back to their addiction in the first place.
It's definitely not meant as shame and I'm sorry if it sounded that way.

I was surprised when Sweeti said she was 'shocked' by the doctor's news because she has been dealing with many health issues for quite awhile. Of course, I know, we are alcoholics and we react to most anything by drinking. And, I was not attempting to shame Sweeti, but was genuinely surprised that she felt so shocked by the doctor's diagnosis that it led her to drink.
Anna is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 09:27 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
i hope its the last time sweetiechik, you've been struggling for awhile. Wishinig you the best.
thomas11 is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 09:39 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Spider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 131
I have been in the same place...pre-cirrhotic, torn esophagus, massive potassium and hydration depletion, merciless dt's, etc. For me, being drunk had to FAR surpass the horror of being sober in order to acquire the 4 months that I have this time. If you're into reading, take a minute to read William Styron's "Darkness Visible"...the title is a direct allusion to Milton's definition of hell in Paradise Lost. It is by far and away the most eloquent, unapologetic, and satisfactorily explained work I have ever read on addiction and depression. Best to you, for real
Spider is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 12:10 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
RIP Sweet Suki
 
suki44883's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,725
Sweeti, do you have a sponsor in AA? The program of AA is working the steps, not just meetings. The meetings are a means of face-to-face support, but working the steps is what AA is all about.
suki44883 is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 02:16 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
J50
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 327
A life without alcohol isn't a death sentence, it's a second chance. As Allen Carr said, "never mourn the death of an enemy."
J50 is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 02:48 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,411
Sweeti - I'm sending up prayers for you to get free & have a wonderful new life.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 03:16 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,036
sweetichick

I thought giving up drinking would be a sad thing - I thought my life would be pain and pain after pain and I'd have nothing to deal with that.

I look back now and I see that quitting drinking gave me my life back.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 03:48 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
PhoenixJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,512
SWCH- whatever it takes..
I have made some genuine friendships in AA. For months all I got out of it was coffee and biscuits- and human company.
One day at a time? For me it seemed second by minute by hour some days. Post here a lot- join the threads- get involved.
Listen to your body and doc about the health stuff. I was dead 3 times in rather awesomely horrible circumstance- but the cards on the table told me if I did not burn, it would have been the liver, or a bus, or falling down stairs....
Support and my prayers.
PhoenixJ is online now  
Old 10-05-2018, 03:59 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
 
duane1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
I didn’t have the doctor tell me, but once my liver started to ache, I saw the writing on the wall. My liver aching motivated me to quit. I hope your prognosis will motivate you too! 6.5 years sober.
duane1 is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 04:13 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
GreenSweater's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Sweater Weather, USA
Posts: 199
Sweeti, I'm sorry.

Does it help at all to know that many have been where you are--worse even!--and turned it around? What can you do to find hope in your situation instead of fear and sadness?

Of all the organs alcohol affects, and which you might have injured, you've damaged the one with the magical ability to heal itself. I think that's a sign! However hard and dark it gets, you can turn on the light.
GreenSweater is offline  
Old 10-05-2018, 05:15 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Helianthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 462
Sometimes being told that we can never drink again is what it takes to stop us, a good shock can do wonders. The good thing is that it's not too late for you health wise you can stop things from progressing into something awful.

As for AA, if you really dislike it so much find an alternative it's a support group not a punishment. From what I've read Refuge Recovery sounds pretty good or I have seen people post about Lifering/SMART why not investigate your options?

Good luck.
Helianthus is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:48 AM.