Dandelion12

Im very new to this and very shakey.

In fact I've been spending most of my time just trying to get myself on an even keel emotionally, physically and mentally.

Dont go out much. No where to go, devastated since my divorce.

I had an aquaintance (wouldnt really call him a friend) that wasnt respecting boundaries and was generally a selfish taker.

When I told him I wasnt interested in him romantically he ripped into me with just about every demeaning and degrading put down he could think of.

Im not strong enough to deal with this right now.

Im tired, Im scared and I cant deal with anymore negativity.

Cant handle this right now

Michael2018

Dandelion,

There are sadly some angry and cruel people around, who seem to respond to their own hurt by wanting to hurt others.

Be really gentle and patient with yourself at the moment. We are all vulnerable and tender in the early days. Why not come and join us in the September group - it's a really nice bunch of people. I suppose the October group is almost about to start as well, but I can assure you that you will find a warm and loving welcome in the September group.

Take it gently.

With love and prayers,

Michael

decchemist

Unfortunately there are people out there who are just plain nasty and he was trying to take advantage of your vulnerability at the moment. You are hurting now because of his words but he probably is not. Don't allow this person to affect how you feel about yourself - his words matter less than the dirt on your shoe.

Do you go to a support group like AA , SMART or something similar? That sounds like it could be really good for you.

Dandelion12

Thanks very much for the support

Im really tired, hoping its just temporary and part of the healing process.

Ive looked into meetings, just not in a place to make to many decisions right now.

Really just so horrible that a 61 year old professional man would actually behave like this.

Doesnt give me much hope that life is worth living.

Trying not to let it get to me.

Thank you

decchemist

Jack. Well, I own a house in Belgrave Square, but it is let by the year to Lady Bloxham. Of course, I can get it back whenever I like, at six months’ notice.

Lady Bracknell. Lady Bloxham? I don’t know her.

Jack. Oh, she goes about very little. She is a lady considerably advanced in years.

Lady Bracknell. Ah, nowadays that is no guarantee of respectability of character.

- Oscar Wilde


Give yourself time. Stick around for support here. You will get stronger.

Dandelion12

Thank you

aasharon90

With willingness and keeping an openmind
to the process of keeping the poison, toxic
alcohol substance out of your system you will
continue to heal and get healthy again.

It is important to focus on recovery first and
foremost before starting anything new. Let
the healing process begin and continue as
you listen, learn, absorb and apply an effective
recovery program to your everyday life and in
all your daily affairs.

If I can lift and move Cinder Blocks from my
car to yard at 60 then you can surely life and
build a strong solid recovery foundation to
live upon each day moving forward for yourself.

Keep moving forward on onward you go with
caring, understanding, supportive folks here
in SR.

Ina123

Being tired is normal in early recovery - or at least it certainly was for me. Try not to let what your acquaintance said get to you - it truly says more about him than anything about you. I’ll echo what Michael said about joining a group - September or October. When I first came here I joined a group that month and it was so helpful for me to check in with others who were at the same stage of their journey as me. Honestly, that group was and remains an integral part of my sobriety.

Please try not to be too hard on yourself. Take it one day at a time.
It really does get better!! I promise you that.

This site is full of lovely people with tons of advice and encouragement so keep sharing

Life is absolutely worth living! Give it some time and things will turn around.

I’m so glad you wrote tonight.
Stay strong.

Dandelion12

Hi Sharon

Yes, Im just trying to heal and get a solid foundation under myself now. Im not interested in anything else and made that clear.

Im all over the place emotionally right now so its important for me tobfeel safe.

There are some very cruel sick people in this world.

neferkamichael

Dandelion, rootin for ya.

MantaLady

I had a "friend" that didn't respect my boundaries when I was vunerable and I didn't stick to what I knew to be the right thing for me to do which was to cut contact and have nothing to do with him again. I went back, I allowed him to walk all over me again and again. Fast forward 7 years and I ended up in rehab. I am not saying it was his fault by any means but the impact of not standing my ground and setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them were a big part in me constantly hating myself and being disappointed in myself.

You have set your boundary, stick to it and be confident you are doing what is right for you. He may not like it, but that is for him to deal with and that is not your problem.

Take care, be strong and don't be hard on yourself x

Dandelion12

Wow, thank you all so much for your awesome support.

If you only knew how you just made my day. Thank you

And just to be clear, I had no romantic involvement with this person. I wasnt interested. Seems you cant even be friendly without someone looking to take more. And heaven help you if you dont give it to them.

Just completely abusive. And hes a retired police officer

Dee74

You;re among friends here dandelion

D

Dandelion12

Youre going to make me cry. Thank you

Wastinglife

No matter how successful and mature a man is, many have fragile egos and do not take rejection well. Look no further than the President of the United States for an example haha.

I am on day 6 from my last drink. Insomnia and anxiety are my constant companions. I made it out for an AA meeting yesterday and will be going to a couple meetings today. The isolation can be a killer during early sobriety. Try to do something that gets you out of the house even if for just 20 mins or so.

Hawkeye13

Hi Dandelion--being safe and taking care of yourself is so important now.

What three things can you do for yourself today to really be kind to you?

You deserve it. Learning to treat yourself well really helps you heal.

Some things I do:

Get some nice herbal tea, a new bar of nice bath soap. A soak and candles in the bathroom, re-reading a book I love, watching some old movies, making a recipe from scratch that makes me feel good.

What things do you think would feel good right now?

Gabe1980

Welcome Dandelion. Just remember.....there are a lot of lovely, sincere and caring people out there too. You'll find plenty of them on SR and in recovery in general. Don't be too disheartened. Be kind to yourself xxx

PhoenixJ

prayers and support DL