Having a very hard time right now
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2
Having a very hard time right now
Hi I'm new here. My boy friend has went into detox 5 days ago and into a residential 60 day program yesterday . He's been an alcoholic for awhile. I am a nurse and watching him go thru this has been the hardest thing I've ever endured to be honest. He had seizures, hallucinations, he was sweating, trembling, his bp was off the chain....i would just hold him and cry with him. Anywho he is doing well n likes the program they say. I am however, going crazy.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
welcome, Jenny.
how great you decided to get some support for yourself!
there is lots of that here, and also, farther down t he forum lst, you can find a forum specifically for friends and family of alcoholics.
how great you decided to get some support for yourself!
there is lots of that here, and also, farther down t he forum lst, you can find a forum specifically for friends and family of alcoholics.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to the family. 
It sounds like his needs are being met right now. How about your needs? It's confusing and frustrating to be the partner of an alcoholic. You need support for yourself. How about finding AlAnon in your area and going to some meetings?
Here's the friends and family forum you might find useful.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
It sounds like his needs are being met right now. How about your needs? It's confusing and frustrating to be the partner of an alcoholic. You need support for yourself. How about finding AlAnon in your area and going to some meetings? Here's the friends and family forum you might find useful.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2
Thank you
Thank you I'm just searching everywhere for some support. Although I support him very much I never knew how hard it would be without him here. The chaos. The drinking. His presence. I feel kinda crazy for that I guess n not coping well. I've worked, I've cleaned, I've walked the dog, I've paced...lol. Does it get easier ? Or am I nuts? Lol I called to check on him, and he's fine of course, and I'm not! Funny how that works huh? At any rate I wanted to Say Thanks for quick reply.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Jenny you are NOT nuts and it CAN get easier.
The most important thing you can do is take care of yourself. I really think you would benefit from some face to face support, as well as our friends and family forum here. Have you thought of Al-anon? You can be among people who understand where you are coming from and will give you tremendous support.
I am an alcoholic who has been through many withdrawals, and was in a codependent relationship with another alcoholic. I have really put him through hell with my drinking and he has no support. I feel I really broke his spirit.
You have to remember that you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
You are an amazing, loving and caring partner to be with him through this all.
At the end of the day though, remember that number one has to be you. You matter too. It's ok to be not ok. Just keep reaching out.
The most important thing you can do is take care of yourself. I really think you would benefit from some face to face support, as well as our friends and family forum here. Have you thought of Al-anon? You can be among people who understand where you are coming from and will give you tremendous support.
I am an alcoholic who has been through many withdrawals, and was in a codependent relationship with another alcoholic. I have really put him through hell with my drinking and he has no support. I feel I really broke his spirit.
You have to remember that you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
You are an amazing, loving and caring partner to be with him through this all.
At the end of the day though, remember that number one has to be you. You matter too. It's ok to be not ok. Just keep reaching out.
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