Dave42001

September 23

Daily Reflections

"I WAS AN EXCEPTION"

He [Bill W.] said to me, gently and simply, "Do you
think that you are one of us?"
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 413

During my drinking life I was convinced I was an exception.
I thought I was beyond petty requirements and had the right
to be excused. I never realized that the dark counterbalance
of my attitude was the constant feeling that I did not
"belong." At first, in A.A., I identified with others only
as an alcoholic. What a wonderful awakening for me it has
been to realize that, if human beings were doing the best
they could, then so was I! All of the pains, confusions and
joys they feel are not exceptional, but part of my life,
just as much as anybody's.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Step Twelve is, "Having had a spiritual awakening as
the result of these steps, we tried to carry this
message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles
in all our affairs." Note that the basis of our
effectiveness in carrying the message to others is the
reality of our own spiritual awakening. If we have not
changed, we cannot be used to change others. To keep
this program, we must pass it on to others. We cannot
keep it for ourselves. We may lose it unless we give it
away. It cannot flow into us and stop; it must continue
to flow into us as it flows out to others.

Meditation For The Day

"Draw nigh unto God and He will draw nigh unto you."
When you are faced with a problem beyond your strength,
you must turn to God by an act of faith. It is that turning
to God in each trying situation that you must cultivate.
The turning may be one of glad thankfulness for God's grace
in you life. Or your appeal to God may be a prayerful
claiming of His strength to face a situation and finding
that you have it when the time comes. Not only the power to
face trials, but also the comfort and joy of God's nearness
and companionship are yours for the asking.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may try to draw near to God each day in prayer.
I pray that I may feel His nearness and His strength in my life.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Neither Dependence nor Self-Sufficiency, p.265

When we insisted, like infants, that people protect and take care of
us or that the world owed us a living, then the result was
unfortunate. The people we most loved often pushed us aside or
perhaps deserted us entirely. Our disillusionment was hard to bear.

We failed to see that, though adult in years, we were still behaving
childishly, trying to turn everybody--friends, wives, husbands, even
the world itself--into protective parents. We refused to learn that
overdependence upon people is unsuccessful because all people
are fallible, and even the best of them will sometimes let us
down, especially when our demands for attention become
unreasonable.

********************************

We are now on a different basis: the basis of trusting and relying
upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. Just to
the extent that we do as we think He would have us do, and humbly
rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

1. 12 & 12, p.115
2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.68

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

When resentment Returns
Inventory
It’s surprising and even humiliating to find an old resentment
flaring up, sometimes years after we thought it had been put to rest.
When that happens, we wonder how thorough we really were in
releasing the resentment in the first place.
The secret of handling this problem is to turn the old resentment
over to our Higher Power without wasting time wondering why it
came up again. We need to deal with it as if it were a brand-new
problem; and in a sense, it is.
As for questioning our past sincerity, that too is a waste of time.
We are always trying to do our best with the understanding we
have for each day. Being too hard on us does not make it easier
to practice our program. Resentments can and do return, but they
don't have to destroy us.
I'll realize today that I'm always susceptible to any of my ongoing problems,
including resentment. Fortunately, I have my program for dealing with
them when they occur.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

. . . he who finds himself loses his misery. Matthew Arnold
We have lost a lot of misery. In it’s place inside us, a spirit grows. . .
as love is added.
Especially self-love. In our illness, we came to hate ourselves. It was
really our illness we hated. We couldn’t find ourselves. All we saw was
what others saw---our illness.
In recovery, we’ve found ourselves again. We’ve found we’re good people.
We’ve also come to love the world around us. We see we have something
to offer this world---ourselves.
Why? Because we have found ourselves.
Prayer for the Day: I’m so glad to be alive. At times life hurts, but, in living,
I found You. Thank-you Higher Power. I pray that we may always be close.
Action for the Day: I will list ten great things I’ve discovered about myself
in recovery.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Who will I be today? The "Cosmopolitan" woman, the little girl, the scholar,
the mother? Who will I be to answer the needs of others, and yet answer the
needs of me? --Deidra Sarault
We wear many hats. One aspect of our maturity is our ability to balance our
roles. It's often quite difficult to do so; however, the program offers us many
tools for balancing our lives.
Fulfilling some of the needs of significant others in our lives brings us joy. Our
own needs must be given priority, though. We cannot give away what we don't
have, and we have nothing unless we give sincere attention and love to ourselves.
In years gone by, we may have taken too little care of others, or we overdid it.
In either case, we probably neglected ourselves. Most of us starved ourselves
spiritually, many of us emotionally, a few physically. We were all too often
"all-or-nothing" women.
Today we're aware of our choices. We've been making a number of good ones
lately: We're abstinent. We're living the Steps. And we're choosing how to
spend our time, and what to do with our lives. But no choice will turn out
very well if we haven't taken care of ourselves.
I will center on myself. I will nurture the maturing woman within and then reach out.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 9 - The Family Afterward

There will be other profound changes in the household. Liquor incapacitated father for so many years that mother became head of the house. She met these responsibilities gallantly. By force of circumstances, she was often obliged to treat father as a sick or wayward child. Even when he wanted to assert himself he could not, for his drinking placed him constantly in the wrong. Mother made all the plans and gave the directions. When sober, father usually obeyed. Thus mother, through no fault of her own, became accustomed to wearing the family trousers. Father, coming suddenly to life again, often begins to assert himself. This means trouble, unless the family watches for these tendencies in each other and comes to a friendly agreement about them.

pp. 130-131

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Student Of Life

Living at home with her parents, she tried using willpower to beat the obsession to drink. But it wasn't until she met another alcoholic and went to an A.A. meeting that sobriety took hold.

I don't remember getting home that night, and I woke up next morning completely dressed and in full makeup. I was sick as a dog, but I managed to crawl into the shower and prepare for my first college class. I sat through the entire class pleading with my eyes to the professor to let us out early. He kept us to the bell, and when it rang, I flew into the women's room, crashed into the first stall, and threw everything up.

p. 320

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

The second difficulty is this: what comes to us alone may be garbled by our own rationalization and wishful thinking. The benefit of talking to another person is that we can get his direct comment and counsel on our situation, and there can be no doubt in our minds what that advice is. Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the guidance of God when it was all too plain that they were sorely mistaken. Lacking both practice and humility, they had deluded themselves and were able to justify the most arrant nonsense on the ground that this was what God had told them. It is worth noting that people of very high spiritual development almost always insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the guidance they feel they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish, perhaps tragic, blunders in this fashion. While the comment or advice of others may be by no means infallible, it is likely to be far more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we are still so inexperienced in establishing contact with a Power greater than ourselves.

p. 60

************************************************** *********

Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of
its strength.
--Soberbyker

"He who would have fruit must climb the tree."
--Thomas Fuller

"Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend."
--Theophrastus

"The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which
includes not only others but ourselves as well."
--Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

"If one could only learn to appreciate the little things...
A song that takes you away, for there are those who cannot hear.
The beauty of a sunset, for there are those who cannot see.
The warmth and safety of your home, for there are those who are homeless.
Time spent with good friends for there are those who are lonely.
A walk along the beach for there are those who cannot walk.
The little things are what life is all about.
Search your soul and learn to appreciate."
--Shadi Souferian

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

LOVE

"Take away love and our earth
is a tomb."
-- Robert Browning

Spirituality is essentially love. It is the love that suffers and grows in
the acceptance of my compulsive and obsessive behavior. It is the love
that requires a knowledge of "self" in order to give understanding and
respect to others. Spirituality is that loving vulnerability that creates
healing in recovery. It provides meaning to life and relationships.

The world is a creative place, and we will only find happiness when we
begin to create. God has created us to take and make -- give and
receive. With the suffering, loneliness, struggle and acceptance comes
a love that is real and alive.

Teach me to live in life and not merely exist.

************************************************** *********

Let us go to His dwelling place; let us worship at His footstool.
Psalm 132:7

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things
there is no law."
Galatians 5:22-23

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Your happiness is happening right now unless you chose not to see it.
Lord, I trust in Your presence and therefore I am always able to see
You work in my life.

Everything we need to deal with life's problems lies within us. Our trials
are tests to see if we can discover the solution. Lord, I call out Your name
when I face my difficulties and together we will overcome them.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Dealing With Gossip

"In accordance with the principles of recovery, we try not to judge, stereotype, or moralize with each other."
Basic Text, p.11

Let's face it: In Narcotics Anonymous, we live in a glass house of sorts. Our fellow members know more about our personal lives than anyone has ever known before. They know who we spend our time with, where we work, what step we're on, how many children we have, and so forth. And what our fellow members don't know, they will probably imagine.

We may be unhappy when others gossip about us. But if we withdraw from the fellowship and isolate ourselves to avoid gossip, we also rob ourselves of the love, friendship, and unparalleled experience with recovery that our fellow members have to offer. A better way to deal with gossip is to simply accept the way things are and the way we are, and live our lives according to principles. The more secure we become with our personal program, the decisions we make, and the guidance we receive from a loving God, the less the opinions of others will concern us.

Just for today: I am committed to being involved in the NA Fellowship. The opinions of others will not affect my commitment to recovery.
pg. 277

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or the life of another. --Helen Keller
It is a great loss when we underestimate the importance of our efforts in the life of another. One man, who had to spend some time in a hospital, waited day after day to receive a card or a telephone call from those who cared. Some people, who he expected to call or write, did not. Others, who the man had not felt close to, and whom he did not expect to hear from, surprised him with their concern. He came to place greater value on those who had cared enough to call or send a card.
A little act, the best we have at that moment, makes a big difference to the person on the other end. Knowing this helps us make sure that all our acts, even the smallest, are as good as we can make them, because they all make a difference.
What small acts of those around me have made a difference to me?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Granted that I must die, how shall I live? --Michael Novak
On our recovery path we sometimes fall into a hole. As we get more in touch with ourselves and with reality, we might be overwhelmed, frightened, or depressed. Many men have asked, "How can it be that I live life with such struggle and hard work only to die in the end?" In recovery we no longer have our anesthetic, our drug of choice, our excesses and controlling behaviors to dull this painful awareness.
Growing as a human being means becoming more aware of these dark truths and not being paralyzed by them. We accept death and choose life. That means we live fully in the present. We choose relationships with others. We appreciate the beauty of creation and seek to know the will of God. In recovery, we choose to live this day fully, in contact with friends and loved ones, appreciating the beauty around us, and helping those we can.
God, help me to tune in to your truth, and to be a living part of your constant creative process.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Who will I be today? The "Cosmopolitan" woman, the little girl, the scholar, the mother? Who will I be to answer the needs of others, and yet answer the needs of me? --Deidra Sarault
We wear many hats. One aspect of our maturity is our ability to balance our roles. It's often quite difficult to do so; however, the program offers us many tools for balancing our lives.
Fulfilling some of the needs of significant others in our lives brings us joy. Our own needs must be given priority, though. We cannot give away what we don't have, and we have nothing unless we give sincere attention and love to ourselves.
In years gone by, we may have taken too little care of others, or we overdid it. In either case, we probably neglected ourselves. Most of us starved ourselves spiritually, many of us emotionally, a few physically. We were all too often "all-or-nothing" women.
Today we're aware of our choices. We've been making a number of good ones lately: We're abstinent. We're living the Steps. And we're choosing how to spend our time, and what to do with our lives. But no choice will turn out very well if we haven't taken care of ourselves.
I will center on myself. I will nurture the maturing woman within and then reach out.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Tolerance
Practice tolerance.
Tolerate our quirks, our feelings, our reactions, our peculiarities, and our humanness. Tolerate our ups and downs, our resistance to change, and our struggling and sometimes awkward nature.
Tolerate our fears, our mistakes, our natural tendency to duck from problems, and pain. Tolerate our hesitancy to get close, expose ourselves, and be vulnerable.
Tolerate our need to occasionally feel superior, to sometimes feel ashamed, and to occasionally share love as an equal. Tolerate the way we progress - a few steps forward, and a couple back.
Tolerate our instinctive desire to control and how we reluctantly learn to practice detachment. Tolerate the way we say we want love, and then sometimes push others away. Tolerate our tendency to get obsessive, forget to trust God, and occasionally get stuck.
Some things we do not tolerate. Do not tolerate abusive or destructive behaviors toward others or ourselves.
Practice healthy, loving tolerance of ourselves, said one man. When we do, we'll learn tolerance for others. Then, take it one step further. learn that all the humanness we're tolerating is what makes ourselves and others beautiful.
Today, I will be tolerant of myself. From that, I will learn appropriate tolerance of others.


Today I am really listening to the messages that I tell myself. Today I want to feel good. Today I'm changing on my negative messages for positive ones. --Ruth Fishel

******************************

Journey To The Heart

Listen to Your Body

Listen to Your Body

The call to exercise doesn't come from gyms, health clubs, physical education directors, or diet books. The call to exercise comes from our bodies, from our souls.

I fought exercise for a long, long time. During the 1980s, when it became popular, I managed to resist. It's boring, hard, and unpleasant, I thought. It won't work for me.

When my daughter finally dragged me to the local health club, I felt like I was in a foreign country. I rode a bike for a few minutes, then wobbled to the water fountain looking like a penguin, legs numb, heart pounding, muscles aching, sweat pouring down my back. My daughter looked at me and firmly said, "You let yourself get in this shape. Now it's time to get out."

It took a while to understand that when I did some simple workouts, I felt better, not worse. The cycle happened naturally, over many months. But my body had said loudly, It's time.

The world is full of ways to move around, work our bodies, and exercise. Park the car in the space furthest from the store and walk. Carry groceries one bag at a time from the car to the house. Carry your own luggage. Go for a walk. Go for a run. Do sit-ups. Learn yoga. Take up line dancing.

Find some way to move your body that feels good for you. Start doing it, even if it doesn't feel good at first. Do it until you can hear your body, hear what it wants, hear what it needs, hear what feels good to it. Do it until you can hear your body tell you how and when it wants to move.

The better you can hear your body, the more clearly you will hear your soul.

*****

more language of letting go
You have the power

If you see Buddha, kill him.
--Zen koan

For the first several hundred years after the Buddha died, there were no images of him. Only his dharma, or teachings, were passed on from generation to generation. Eventually, however, the people wanted an image to remind them of their ideal, and that's when and how Buddha statues came to be.

The good thing about having statues of Buddha is they remind followers of the ideals they're striving for in their lives. The difficult thing about Buddha statues is that people may be tempted to idolize the statue, and forget to seek the state of consciousness the Buddha represented.

It's easy for us to idolize our mentors and teachers, the people who encourage and help us to grow. It can be easy to look around us and think others have the key to enlightenment, success, joy.

Stop idolizing other people.

Look in the mirror.

You have everything you need to learn your lessons, grow, achieve success. You have all the courage you need to fail, then try again. You have everything you need, within you, to live and follow your own path with heart.

Not only are you right where you need to be, but you can get wherever you want to go from here. And you and I have all the power we need to learn the lessons we came here to learn.

God, teach me that all I need is within me.

******

Accepting and Releasing Emotions
Denying Your Feelings

Dealing with powerful emotions can be challenging, especially when we are going through chaotic, sad, or cruel experiences in our lives. Often, it can seem like we have only two options for dealing with our feelings so they don’t become too overwhelming. We may let our feelings out in an immediate and visceral way, or we may bottle them up by suppressing our emotions inside our bodies. Most people make the second choice, repressing their feelings in an attempt to deny them. The truth is that there are many positive ways to deal with emotions, and experiencing your negative feelings doesn’t have to constitute a negative experience. Denying your feelings is not only unhealthy for the mind and the body, but it may also rob you of valuable information you could be learning about yourself and your life. Suppressing your emotions can even impede your short-term memory. Acknowledging your feelings can help you better understand them and help you recover naturally from change, stres! s, and grief.

If you find that facing your feelings head on is proving too difficult during times of emotional distress, you may want to explore alternative ways of expressing them. Otherwise, the emotions you deny could morph into unconscious anger or self-hatred. Expressing your thoughts to friends or family can be helpful. If you don’t feel ready to share them, try giving them words by writing down what you are feeling. Give whatever you are feeling simple words like “livid” or “angry” or “excited” You can also funnel your feelings into a creative outlet, physical exercise, or chores. Even just accepting and speaking your feelings out loud to yourself can be a healing release. In releasing intense emotions, it is most beneficial to acknowledge the feelings, allow yourself to feel them, and let the feelings go. Those who are willing to experience and release their feelings without judgment also find that their lives become less stressful. Breathing deeply, going for a long walk, or doi! ng a constructive task can help you respond to your feelings in a healthy way.

While burying negative or uncomfortable feelings can numb the pain, it also may inevitably dull your ability to experience your more positive and pleasurable feelings. You may find yourself afraid to open up in the future for fear of getting hurt. The feelings we deny aren’t limited to anger and sadness. Suppressing our happiness or excitement can be just as unhealthy. In learning how to express your intense emotions in a healthy way, you are giving yourself the freedom to fully experience the more joyful emotions that come with being alive. Published with permission from Daily OM

******************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

On studying the Twelve Steps, many of the first members of The Program exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” “Do not be discouraged,” we’re told at the meeting after meeting. “No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.” Can I believe, in the words of Browning, that my business is not to remake myself, but to make the absolute best of what God made…?

Today I Pray

Even if I am an old hand at The Program, may I not forget that the Twelve Steps do not represent an achievement that can be checked off my “things to do” list. Instead, they are a striving for an ideal, a guide to getting there. May I keep my mind open to deepening interpretations of these principles.

Today I Will Remember

Progress rather than perfection.

******************************

One More Day

Physical courage, which despises all danger, will make brave in one way; and moral courage, which despises all opinion, will make a man brave in another. The former would seem most necessary for the camp; the latter for the council; but to constitute a great man, both are necessary.
– C. C. Colton

We are blessed to have many kinds of courage. We just never expected to have them all tested during a course of several years! Our physical courage increases every time we face a new situation or a different medical problem. Although we’re not grateful for the illness itself, it has provided the challenges which have prompted greater courage in us. We’ve also had to look more closely at our values and had to become stronger in protecting them. We’re more conscious of the choices we make and how we make them, and we’re grateful for that awareness.

I will continue to make healthy, moral choices.

************************************************** ****************

Food For Thought

Positive Leads

As our serenity grows, the clamor and confusion inside our heads die down. Instead of being pulled in many different directions and uncertain of which way to turn, we gradually discern the positive voice that leads us forward. Rather than trying to analyze all possible alternatives intellectually, we gain the confidence to choose the positive way without agonizing indecision.

To worry and speculate about the roads not taken is counter productive and wasteful of our energies. We pray that we may know the will of our Higher Power for us, and then we act according to the best of our knowledge. The more we practice listening to the still, small voice within, the more positive direction we will receive.

The mental calmness which we experience as we abstain from compulsive overeating clears away our former confusion. We may make mistakes, but as long as we can admit them and stay in contact with our Higher Power, we will continue to follow His positive leads.

Keep me on Your positive path.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

EMOTIONS
“A life lacking the emotional upheavals of depression and despair,
fear and anxiety, grief and sadness, anger and the agony of forgiving,
confusion and doubt, criticism and rejection,
will not only be useless to ourselves, it will be useless to others.”
Scott Peck

Because I have always thought of myself as such an ordinary person, as life moved along I was surprised to find so many emotional events happening in it. I have had severe periods of depression and despair; I have known fear, anxiety, anger and doubt. I have wrestled with grief and known the agony of rejection. I have been subjected to criticism and experienced firsthand the difficulty of forgiving those whom I once thought I would never be able to forgive.

What I have learned about life and recovery is that no one is ordinary, that everyone experiences emotions of all kinds, and what is important is that each of these upheavals are instructive and not wasted.

Whereas once I would block my feelings, I now allow myself to feel them. Instead of sweeping my emotions under a rug, I express them. Rather than blocking grief from my soul, I experience it ... then heal from it. When I am rejected, I try to move on by exploring the reasons why.

One day at a time...
I will turn my negative emotions into positive ones by transforming them into useful learning experiences both for myself and for others.
~ Mari ~

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable adn discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks - drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is little hope of his recovery. - Pg. xxviii-xxix - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Even though you are a unique human being, you are not so unique that your recovery is any different then thousands before you. If you think we don't understand, then your disease is playing tricks on you because it doesn't want you getting well with us.

I name three reasons why I am just like every other chemical dependent seeking recovery.

Endless Opportunities

I can start over each day. I can start over each hour of each day. The universe is impersonal in that sense. It's always waiting for me to tell it what I want. Like attracts like. I tell the world what I want more of, by what I am thinking and feeling right now, right this minute. Today, every hour on the hour, I will allow myself to see something positive about my day. I'll let myself send out an order by my pleasant thoughts and feelings for more of the same. When I catch myself heading down a negative path I'll stop and consciously observe what is going through my mind. Life is full of chances and so is my day. I can start it over any time I want to.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Courage is more complex than spontaneous reactions to traumatic events. It may take courage to rush into a burning building or jump in a river to save a life, but they are almost instinctual. Sharing your deep feelings might be an act of courage far beyond gallant feats.

My courage is my fear in action.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Your sponsor helped you up. Don't let them down.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am really listening to the messages that I tell myself.

Today I want to feel good.

Today I'm changing on my negative messages for positive ones.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I got side-tracked; it wasn't that I was born needing six drinks, just Twelve Steps. - Trip S.
__________________