Obsessing
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Obsessing
Does anyone else obsess? And obsess and obsess and obsess?
Not about drinking but about things they think they have done wrong. It's a massive trigger for me. Some perceived mistake, usually work related and it goes round for days. I'm really starting to understand the role drinking played in managing my mental health.
Any advice on accepting my humanity and right not to be perfect?! There is a bully in my head that is beating me up. I hate the fact that it's me
Thank you! Rachel xx
Not about drinking but about things they think they have done wrong. It's a massive trigger for me. Some perceived mistake, usually work related and it goes round for days. I'm really starting to understand the role drinking played in managing my mental health.
Any advice on accepting my humanity and right not to be perfect?! There is a bully in my head that is beating me up. I hate the fact that it's me
Thank you! Rachel xx
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It’s important in recovery to be aware of mental health conditions as well as alcoholism. If these symptoms remain even once you’re working a recovery program such as the 12 steps then it might be worth seeking a referral to a mental health specialist as things like OCD for example will need separate treatment.
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I used to obsess constantly. I was haunted by things I'd done in the past, ways I'd hurt people, and I couldn't make it leave my mind no matter what anybody here would say.
But eventually just by osmosis--living life and working my recovery--life in real-time has begun unfolding, and I realize that I dwell much, much less on my past than I used to.
In fact, my former obsessiveness seems like miles in the distance!
Apply yourself to living and eventually your mind will be filled with satisfaction where despair used to be.
But eventually just by osmosis--living life and working my recovery--life in real-time has begun unfolding, and I realize that I dwell much, much less on my past than I used to.
In fact, my former obsessiveness seems like miles in the distance!
Apply yourself to living and eventually your mind will be filled with satisfaction where despair used to be.
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Originally Posted by Bumboid 
I don't, as I'm really good at putting things to the back of my mind and forgetting them, even more so when I was drinking. I must admit, some things come back when I'm sober, but I don't obsess about them. I cringe, bury my head in my hands, shake my head, then forget again.
You are right though, alcohol does help you forget those things, but it's not worth going back to. I think probably, it's something you will get used to.
There was a section in The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober that explained this sort of thing, but because it didn't affect me so much I skipped over it.
You are right though, alcohol does help you forget those things, but it's not worth going back to. I think probably, it's something you will get used to.
There was a section in The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober that explained this sort of thing, but because it didn't affect me so much I skipped over it.
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl
There are techniques for combating negative thoughts and obsessive thinking. But if the problem is serious, I would think a professional mental health person could help.
I'm doing Step 4, which is hard going, so that is bringing some stuff up for me too x
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Originally Posted by Gilmer
I used to obsess constantly. I was haunted by things I'd done in the past, ways I'd hurt people, and I couldn't make it leave my mind no matter what anybody here would say.
But eventually just by osmosis--living life and working my recovery--life in real-time has begun unfolding, and I realize that I dwell much, much less on my past than I used to.
In fact, my former obsessiveness seems like miles in the distance!
Apply yourself to living and eventually your mind will be filled with satisfaction where despair used to be.
But eventually just by osmosis--living life and working my recovery--life in real-time has begun unfolding, and I realize that I dwell much, much less on my past than I used to.
In fact, my former obsessiveness seems like miles in the distance!
Apply yourself to living and eventually your mind will be filled with satisfaction where despair used to be.
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I used to obsess a lot and my negative thoughts would run in circles. The thing is, the more you try to not think about something, the more you think about it. I've learned that I can just be aware of thoughts and let them go. It's just my brain doing its thing and I don't have to focus on the thoughts.
I've found that positive affirmations help me. If you google Louise Hay affirmations you'll find lots of good thoughts that you can carry with you throughout the day.
I've found that positive affirmations help me. If you google Louise Hay affirmations you'll find lots of good thoughts that you can carry with you throughout the day.
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Yes - can be a big problem for me.
Strategies that work for me include action - moving more, walking, getting engaged in life, going to bed physically tired (not exhausted). Yoga.
When my sobriety stabilizes a little I will try CBT with a good therapist - I've heard nothing but good about it - so that might be worth investigating.
Strategies that work for me include action - moving more, walking, getting engaged in life, going to bed physically tired (not exhausted). Yoga.
When my sobriety stabilizes a little I will try CBT with a good therapist - I've heard nothing but good about it - so that might be worth investigating.
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Originally Posted by brighterday1234
It’s important in recovery to be aware of mental health conditions as well as alcoholism. If these symptoms remain even once you’re working a recovery program such as the 12 steps then it might be worth seeking a referral to a mental health specialist as things like OCD for example will need separate treatment.
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Originally Posted by Anna
I used to obsess a lot and my negative thoughts would run in circles. The thing is, the more you try to not think about something, the more you think about it. I've learned that I can just be aware of thoughts and let them go. It's just my brain doing its thing and I don't have to focus on the thoughts.
I've found that positive affirmations help me. If you google Louise Hay affirmations you'll find lots of good thoughts that you can carry with you throughout the day.
I've found that positive affirmations help me. If you google Louise Hay affirmations you'll find lots of good thoughts that you can carry with you throughout the day.
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Sometimes I will get hit out of nowhere with a cold feeling in my stomach coupled with feelings of regret or shame for things I've done or for where those things have led me. But I don't obsess over these things.
The truth is that the past is in the past and there is nothing you can do to undo what has already happened. But you can do better today, and tomorrow, and so on. It is really only through your actions in the present and in the future that you can truly move on from your past. If, at some point, you feel the desire to make amends with those you've done wrong, feel free. But don't harp or let guilt weigh you down (and don't let others continue to guilt you if you are making progress). Just focus on today.
The truth is that the past is in the past and there is nothing you can do to undo what has already happened. But you can do better today, and tomorrow, and so on. It is really only through your actions in the present and in the future that you can truly move on from your past. If, at some point, you feel the desire to make amends with those you've done wrong, feel free. But don't harp or let guilt weigh you down (and don't let others continue to guilt you if you are making progress). Just focus on today.
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Originally Posted by Calitano
Yes - can be a big problem for me.
Strategies that work for me include action - moving more, walking, getting engaged in life, going to bed physically tired (not exhausted). Yoga.
When my sobriety stabilizes a little I will try CBT with a good therapist - I've heard nothing but good about it - so that might be worth investigating.
Strategies that work for me include action - moving more, walking, getting engaged in life, going to bed physically tired (not exhausted). Yoga.
When my sobriety stabilizes a little I will try CBT with a good therapist - I've heard nothing but good about it - so that might be worth investigating.
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Originally Posted by orderfororder
Sometimes I will get hit out of nowhere with a cold feeling in my stomach coupled with feelings of regret or shame for things I've done or for where those things have led me. But I don't obsess over these things.
The truth is that the past is in the past and there is nothing you can do to undo what has already happened. But you can do better today, and tomorrow, and so on. It is really only through your actions in the present and in the future that you can truly move on from your past. If, at some point, you feel the desire to make amends with those you've done wrong, feel free. But don't harp or let guilt weigh you down (and don't let others continue to guilt you if you are making progress). Just focus on today.
The truth is that the past is in the past and there is nothing you can do to undo what has already happened. But you can do better today, and tomorrow, and so on. It is really only through your actions in the present and in the future that you can truly move on from your past. If, at some point, you feel the desire to make amends with those you've done wrong, feel free. But don't harp or let guilt weigh you down (and don't let others continue to guilt you if you are making progress). Just focus on today.
I think even just sharing it here really helps. Working on staying in the present is an ongoing thing for me. I sometimes manage it!
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Hi Gabe,
Sounds like you are making great progress at a good pace. I was full of guilt and shame when I first stopped. I would not call it an obsession, it was more like my mind became a bit of a merry go round of shameful memories and people I had hurt that liked to really make its presence felt when I tried to get to sleep.
I could have a good day, stayed sober, did nothing wrong, yet when I out my head on the pillow the skeletons all came dancing out of the closet to keep me awake. This was really a manifestation of the "things that were blocking me" from the Power. It stopped immediately after I took step five, witholding nothing. I slept like a baby that night and ever since. You are very close to this point.
The steps are the means by which I got in touch with the Power that solved my problem. I didn't begin to feel the flow until after step five, and it really kicked in once I got into step nine. That was when I noticed the obsession to drink had gone, and quite a few others things had begun to change. From then on I have had the Power to live succesfully in the world. Not always happy, there have been plenty of challenges as you might expect, but I have had a sense of purpose, a feeling I am on the right track, and I have been able to handle everything that life has sent my way without even thinking of a drink.
Resentment was something I had trouble with early on, still do sometimes. I didn't have much connected with my drinking, but when I was sober, and things didn't go my way i could really get in a stew, reliving perceived slights and hurts - that would be more like an obsession. I found some answers to this in the Big Book directions around step four, about how to view others. Also step ten was a life saver. Whenever I was in the wrong, which happened a lot, I quickly addmitted it and made amends where required. I learned to not let things build up or fester. By quickly I mean within minutes of the incident.
Sounds like you are making great progress at a good pace. I was full of guilt and shame when I first stopped. I would not call it an obsession, it was more like my mind became a bit of a merry go round of shameful memories and people I had hurt that liked to really make its presence felt when I tried to get to sleep.
I could have a good day, stayed sober, did nothing wrong, yet when I out my head on the pillow the skeletons all came dancing out of the closet to keep me awake. This was really a manifestation of the "things that were blocking me" from the Power. It stopped immediately after I took step five, witholding nothing. I slept like a baby that night and ever since. You are very close to this point.
The steps are the means by which I got in touch with the Power that solved my problem. I didn't begin to feel the flow until after step five, and it really kicked in once I got into step nine. That was when I noticed the obsession to drink had gone, and quite a few others things had begun to change. From then on I have had the Power to live succesfully in the world. Not always happy, there have been plenty of challenges as you might expect, but I have had a sense of purpose, a feeling I am on the right track, and I have been able to handle everything that life has sent my way without even thinking of a drink.
Resentment was something I had trouble with early on, still do sometimes. I didn't have much connected with my drinking, but when I was sober, and things didn't go my way i could really get in a stew, reliving perceived slights and hurts - that would be more like an obsession. I found some answers to this in the Big Book directions around step four, about how to view others. Also step ten was a life saver. Whenever I was in the wrong, which happened a lot, I quickly addmitted it and made amends where required. I learned to not let things build up or fester. By quickly I mean within minutes of the incident.
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I used to obsess. I taught myself many years ago to visualize a stop sign every time my thoughts returned. Sometimes I wouldn’t even realize I was obsessing while in the midst of it, but as soon as I realized it, I pictured the stop sign.
It took a long time for that visualization to become a habit. Once it did though, I was able to stop my thoughts more quickly.
I don’t suffer from obsessive thoughts anymore.
It took a long time for that visualization to become a habit. Once it did though, I was able to stop my thoughts more quickly.
I don’t suffer from obsessive thoughts anymore.
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Originally Posted by Gottalife
Hi Gabe,
Sounds like you are making great progress at a good pace. I was full of guilt and shame when I first stopped. I would not call it an obsession, it was more like my mind became a bit of a merry go round of shameful memories and people I had hurt that liked to really make its presence felt when I tried to get to sleep.
I could have a good day, stayed sober, did nothing wrong, yet when I out my head on the pillow the skeletons all came dancing out of the closet to keep me awake. This was really a manifestation of the "things that were blocking me" from the Power. It stopped immediately after I took step five, witholding nothing. I slept like a baby that night and ever since. You are very close to this point.
The steps are the means by which I got in touch with the Power that solved my problem. I didn't begin to feel the flow until after step five, and it really kicked in once I got into step nine. That was when I noticed the obsession to drink had gone, and quite a few others things had begun to change. From then on I have had the Power to live succesfully in the world. Not always happy, there have been plenty of challenges as you might expect, but I have had a sense of purpose, a feeling I am on the right track, and I have been able to handle everything that life has sent my way without even thinking of a drink.
Resentment was something I had trouble with early on, still do sometimes. I didn't have much connected with my drinking, but when I was sober, and things didn't go my way i could really get in a stew, reliving perceived slights and hurts - that would be more like an obsession. I found some answers to this in the Big Book directions around step four, about how to view others. Also step ten was a life saver. Whenever I was in the wrong, which happened a lot, I quickly addmitted it and made amends where required. I learned to not let things build up or fester. By quickly I mean within minutes of the incident.
Sounds like you are making great progress at a good pace. I was full of guilt and shame when I first stopped. I would not call it an obsession, it was more like my mind became a bit of a merry go round of shameful memories and people I had hurt that liked to really make its presence felt when I tried to get to sleep.
I could have a good day, stayed sober, did nothing wrong, yet when I out my head on the pillow the skeletons all came dancing out of the closet to keep me awake. This was really a manifestation of the "things that were blocking me" from the Power. It stopped immediately after I took step five, witholding nothing. I slept like a baby that night and ever since. You are very close to this point.
The steps are the means by which I got in touch with the Power that solved my problem. I didn't begin to feel the flow until after step five, and it really kicked in once I got into step nine. That was when I noticed the obsession to drink had gone, and quite a few others things had begun to change. From then on I have had the Power to live succesfully in the world. Not always happy, there have been plenty of challenges as you might expect, but I have had a sense of purpose, a feeling I am on the right track, and I have been able to handle everything that life has sent my way without even thinking of a drink.
Resentment was something I had trouble with early on, still do sometimes. I didn't have much connected with my drinking, but when I was sober, and things didn't go my way i could really get in a stew, reliving perceived slights and hurts - that would be more like an obsession. I found some answers to this in the Big Book directions around step four, about how to view others. Also step ten was a life saver. Whenever I was in the wrong, which happened a lot, I quickly addmitted it and made amends where required. I learned to not let things build up or fester. By quickly I mean within minutes of the incident.
My sponsor says 'get out of your own way' and this clears the way to connect with your HP - I love that! I'm trying to get out of my own way. There is a well of grief and regret there but the biggest thing is my taking responsibility for myself and my actions. I used past difficulties and resentments to justify some really awful attitudes and actions. It's time to acknowledge that, offer it up and let it go xx
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Originally Posted by Atlast9999
I used to obsess. I taught myself many years ago to visualize a stop sign every time my thoughts returned. Sometimes I wouldn’t even realize I was obsessing while in the midst of it, but as soon as I realized it, I pictured the stop sign.
It took a long time for that visualization to become a habit. Once it did though, I was able to stop my thoughts more quickly.
I don’t suffer from obsessive thoughts anymore.
It took a long time for that visualization to become a habit. Once it did though, I was able to stop my thoughts more quickly.
I don’t suffer from obsessive thoughts anymore.
I'm really glad you don't suffer from this anymore, it helps to hear that people find a way of getting past this. It's a bloody awful thing xx
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