Highercall

Hi

I'm trying hard and am doing well. I feel better yet still anxious.

I got asked if I wanted to go to a colleagues 40th office meal and I agreed.

A woman in the office said she has not forgotten and would buy me a drink at the party.

I said to the boss I would go and have a few pints and she agreed it was a good idea.

Now having turned up late or not at all to work and being in crisis situations surely my boss and the other woman in work would say to me that I should not drink alcohol.

Everyone knows I have a drink problem WHY do they continue to tempt me!

Highercall

Has anyone any advice?

NerfThis

Congratulations on 7 days sober! Not an easy task at all.

Unfortunately it's not down to others to tell us not to drink. Other people tend to think our situation is not as bad as we make out, or they simply aren't aware that there is a problem at all. I told my husband on countless of occasions that I was sure I had a serious drink problem. He'd see me drinking all weekend from early hours and stumbling about the apartment, missing work on Mondays yet he STILL didn't believe I had a problem.

It's down to us to either avoid these social situations so early on in recovery (based on your previous posts I HIGHLY recommend this), or to make it known that you no longer drink and the colleague can buy you a cranberry juice instead or something. My personal choice was to still attend social events early on (I'm still extremely early on at just over 50 days) making it clear to people that I no longer drink and never will. I didn't tell them the whole reason. I told them half the reason which is that I had a break from alcohol and found my productivity and health greatly improved, so I decided to continue.

If you can't trust yourself to not drink at an event, don't go.

least

It's up to you to avoid or defuse the temptation.

DontRemember

Do you know you have a drinking problem and wish to not drink any longer? If so, it's up to you and you alone to not drink under any circumstance..if you wish not to. Own YOUR stuff and live your life as you want to. "they" don't force you to drink booze.

Dee74

I had to learn the hard way that noone else would police my sobriety for me.

Most people simply cannot understand.

I can't count the number of intelligent well meaning people, even people who'd seen me at my worst, who told me 'just have one or two', or 'you just have to know when you've had enough'.

Don't expect other people to look out for you - we have to look out for ourselves.

You don't need to tell everyone the ins and outs of your alcoholism - but I think telling people you'll go for a pint or two is sending the wrong message and will probably result in people inviting you out to drinks again?

D

PhoenixJ

Hi there- normal (??) people, or just anyone (including other alcie's) ) are not responsible for making A special effort to rescue, us, change the world or alter their behavior for us. Why should they? I think ion the whole- people offer booze- not to be nasty, or because they forget, or to test or tempt us..they just do.

Iif you feel out of your comfort zone with any social activites which has booze in it- do not go. Why tempt yourself?

yinzer

They have not been in our shoes and do not understand what a problem “a few pints” is for us. When is the party? Methinks you can fake an illness and beg off of it to keep your sobriety going, or if you must go, tell them you are on medication and can’t drink? Your sobriety must be number one priority.
Congrats on a week and keep it going!

lessgravity

The line I told myself over and over in early sobriety and which has served me very well is "no one is coming to save me." To me it is not something that is defeatist, but rather its realistic and inspiring. At the end of the day, whether it's a work event, a social gathering or just passing by the liquor store on your way home, not pouring the poison down your throat is all up you and you alone.

Congrats on your 7 days. Stay strong.