Here we go again...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Here we go again...
Over the past three weeks.... 3 days off, 2 days on, 1 day off, 4 days on, 4 days off, 2 days on, etc. etc. etc.
Here I sit in my spotless, well-organized apartment while consuming since 3:00 pm or so.
Yet, I felt very comfortable with not drinking today... before I started drinking, of course.
Here I sit in my spotless, well-organized apartment while consuming since 3:00 pm or so.
Yet, I felt very comfortable with not drinking today... before I started drinking, of course.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
It's hard to make the decision to stop drinking and to stick to it. It's always a good idea to make a plan, something that can help to keep you on track. And, you will always find support here.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by TeeJayVerm 
Over the past three weeks.... 3 days off, 2 days on, 1 day off, 4 days on, 4 days off, 2 days on, etc. etc. etc.
Here I sit in my spotless, well-organized apartment while consuming since 3:00 pm or so.
Yet, I felt very comfortable with not drinking today... before I started drinking, of course.
Here I sit in my spotless, well-organized apartment while consuming since 3:00 pm or so.
Yet, I felt very comfortable with not drinking today... before I started drinking, of course.
At the ripe old age of 68 she proved she could not live alone. She was found headfirst over the back of the couch covered in schmidt. She had been there a couple of days and was well into the DTs. An ambulance was called and you can imagine how proud we all were in the ER of the state of our mother. The looks we got from the staff, how could you let your mother get like this?
But you see, she had had every opportunity to get well. More than I did. She had been to the two best treatment centres, I had wheeled in oll the 'Top Gun" AAs I knew. I took her to a lot of meetings - she was always drunk. She didn't want to stop and rejected all efforts to help her, and refused to do anything to help herself.
And the most unlucky thing for her is she hasn't been granted her wish to die. Nearly 30 years later she is just a wizzened up ball of resentment, totally miserable and hating everyone (except those she persuades to buy her booze. Imagine that, 30 years of alcoholic hell, unable to live out in the world, yet unable to die. That really is hell on earth.
Like her, you have a decision to make, What's it going to be?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by Dee74
sounds like you need to do something different man.
Whats holding you back from change, do you think?
D
Whats holding you back from change, do you think?
D
She gave me the gift of a California vacation as a reward in January and Southwest Airlines gave me a $160 round trip from Chicago to Los Angeles.
Then, one of my younger twins wants me to explore the UCLA campus. Her credentials should gain acceptance to UCLA with very little doubt.
I am so blessed. My daughters are incredible!!
I just need to stop putting this off!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by Gottalife
Just made me think of my mother. Her place was always spotless as far as I can remember until Dad died and she was free to really hit it along.
At the ripe old age of 68 she proved she could not live alone. She was found headfirst over the back of the couch covered in schmidt. She had been there a couple of days and was well into the DTs. An ambulance was called and you can imagine how proud we all were in the ER of the state of our mother. The looks we got from the staff, how could you let your mother get like this?
But you see, she had had every opportunity to get well. More than I did. She had been to the two best treatment centres, I had wheeled in oll the 'Top Gun" AAs I knew. I took her to a lot of meetings - she was always drunk. She didn't want to stop and rejected all efforts to help her, and refused to do anything to help herself.
And the most unlucky thing for her is she hasn't been granted her wish to die. Nearly 30 years later she is just a wizzened up ball of resentment, totally miserable and hating everyone (except those she persuades to buy her booze. Imagine that, 30 years of alcoholic hell, unable to live out in the world, yet unable to die. That really is hell on earth.
Like her, you have a decision to make, What's it going to be?
At the ripe old age of 68 she proved she could not live alone. She was found headfirst over the back of the couch covered in schmidt. She had been there a couple of days and was well into the DTs. An ambulance was called and you can imagine how proud we all were in the ER of the state of our mother. The looks we got from the staff, how could you let your mother get like this?
But you see, she had had every opportunity to get well. More than I did. She had been to the two best treatment centres, I had wheeled in oll the 'Top Gun" AAs I knew. I took her to a lot of meetings - she was always drunk. She didn't want to stop and rejected all efforts to help her, and refused to do anything to help herself.
And the most unlucky thing for her is she hasn't been granted her wish to die. Nearly 30 years later she is just a wizzened up ball of resentment, totally miserable and hating everyone (except those she persuades to buy her booze. Imagine that, 30 years of alcoholic hell, unable to live out in the world, yet unable to die. That really is hell on earth.
Like her, you have a decision to make, What's it going to be?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by Gottalife
And the most unlucky thing for her is she hasn't been granted her wish to die. Nearly 30 years later she is just a wizzened up ball of resentment, totally miserable and hating everyone (except those she persuades to buy her booze. Imagine that, 30 years of alcoholic hell, unable to live out in the world, yet unable to die. That really is hell on earth.
Like her, you have a decision to make, What's it going to be?
Like her, you have a decision to make, What's it going to be?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 543
Originally Posted by Gottalife
Just made me think of my mother. Her place was always spotless as far as I can remember until Dad died and she was free to really hit it along.
At the ripe old age of 68 she proved she could not live alone. She was found headfirst over the back of the couch covered in schmidt. She had been there a couple of days and was well into the DTs. An ambulance was called and you can imagine how proud we all were in the ER of the state of our mother. The looks we got from the staff, how could you let your mother get like this?
But you see, she had had every opportunity to get well. More than I did. She had been to the two best treatment centres, I had wheeled in oll the 'Top Gun" AAs I knew. I took her to a lot of meetings - she was always drunk. She didn't want to stop and rejected all efforts to help her, and refused to do anything to help herself.
And the most unlucky thing for her is she hasn't been granted her wish to die. Nearly 30 years later she is just a wizzened up ball of resentment, totally miserable and hating everyone (except those she persuades to buy her booze. Imagine that, 30 years of alcoholic hell, unable to live out in the world, yet unable to die. That really is hell on earth.
Like her, you have a decision to make, What's it going to be?
At the ripe old age of 68 she proved she could not live alone. She was found headfirst over the back of the couch covered in schmidt. She had been there a couple of days and was well into the DTs. An ambulance was called and you can imagine how proud we all were in the ER of the state of our mother. The looks we got from the staff, how could you let your mother get like this?
But you see, she had had every opportunity to get well. More than I did. She had been to the two best treatment centres, I had wheeled in oll the 'Top Gun" AAs I knew. I took her to a lot of meetings - she was always drunk. She didn't want to stop and rejected all efforts to help her, and refused to do anything to help herself.
And the most unlucky thing for her is she hasn't been granted her wish to die. Nearly 30 years later she is just a wizzened up ball of resentment, totally miserable and hating everyone (except those she persuades to buy her booze. Imagine that, 30 years of alcoholic hell, unable to live out in the world, yet unable to die. That really is hell on earth.
Like her, you have a decision to make, What's it going to be?
That being said, I have never smoked and am bound and determined to live an incredible, fulfilling life like my three daughters!!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by TeeJayVerm
... and my decision is to ultimately stop drinking!!!
Parkinsons law on procrastination: Delay is the deadliest form or denial.
There is an expression in common usage in New Zealand, I don't know of it crops up in other parts fo the world, but it is the strangest thing. It goes something like " I definitely might do that"
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Tee,
Late on this one. You have probably passed out, woke up, had regrets, and got drunk again by now.
I remember the cycle well.
I never want to forget that horrible life I led for so many years. Now this clean I know strong addiction is the only reason I kept dealing with the hell of detox and withdrawals.
Thank God I started to die from all my drinking, that is how I got this clean.
They say fear can't stop any addict. It stopped me long enough to learn how to get this clean.
I don't do AA. It is plan B.
If I think I am about to relapse, e.g. SR stops keeping me clean, I will be in AA meetings again.
Addiction is brain damage. Basically, we addicts have CNS damage. Stopping drinking makes the world move to fast...for a long long long time.
That is why folks relapse. It takes years to normalize. I am still healing.
Thanks.
Late on this one. You have probably passed out, woke up, had regrets, and got drunk again by now.
I remember the cycle well.
I never want to forget that horrible life I led for so many years. Now this clean I know strong addiction is the only reason I kept dealing with the hell of detox and withdrawals.
Thank God I started to die from all my drinking, that is how I got this clean.
They say fear can't stop any addict. It stopped me long enough to learn how to get this clean.
I don't do AA. It is plan B.
If I think I am about to relapse, e.g. SR stops keeping me clean, I will be in AA meetings again.
Addiction is brain damage. Basically, we addicts have CNS damage. Stopping drinking makes the world move to fast...for a long long long time.
That is why folks relapse. It takes years to normalize. I am still healing.
Thanks.
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