Gutted
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
Gutted
I write today with a very heavy heart, yesterday one of our fellows passed away, she was such a lovely lovely lady, with a young son, yet the power of this disease took her. It had been difficult for her, she was struggling and myself and others tried to help her get sobriety again after each relapse, she had 6 years once yet just couldn't come back from that initial relapse. I'm utterly shocked and saddened and gutted that she couldn't find sobriety again. So so sad.
Needed to share.
This is a killer illness.
Gutted.
Needed to share.
This is a killer illness.
Gutted.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,945
Originally Posted by blueberry2015 
I write today with a very heavy heart, yesterday one of our fellows passed away, she was such a lovely lovely lady, with a young son, yet the power of this disease took her. It had been difficult for her, she was struggling and myself and others tried to help her get sobriety again after each relapse, she had 6 years once yet just couldn't come back from that initial relapse. I'm utterly shocked and saddened and gutted that she couldn't find sobriety again. So so sad.
Needed to share.
This is a killer illness.
Gutted.
Needed to share.
This is a killer illness.
Gutted.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by dsmaxis10
i have lost so many in 13 years of AA now this disease is after my niece owe it hit me with a blow to the body please not my niece God send legions of Angels to protect her
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by blueberry2015
I write today with a very heavy heart, yesterday one of our fellows passed away, she was such a lovely lovely lady, with a young son, yet the power of this disease took her. It had been difficult for her, she was struggling and myself and others tried to help her get sobriety again after each relapse, she had 6 years once yet just couldn't come back from that initial relapse. I'm utterly shocked and saddened and gutted that she couldn't find sobriety again. So so sad.
Needed to share.
This is a killer illness.
Gutted.
Needed to share.
This is a killer illness.
Gutted.
The man is now 70 years old and his body is breaking down. He`s got a long time lady friend who takes care of him so he`s at least got a roof over his head and food on the table.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,074
Thanks.
A whole range of feelings and emotions are coming up around this, from a sense of could I have done more to help, to anger, to sadness, shock n disbelief, to looking at my own recovery, there but for the grace of god go I. It's also bringing up feelings around the death of my father too. I'm trying so very hard not to make this about myself, but have to be honest and recognise these feelings going on and I am acutely aware are quite natural. By speaking with others who too tried to help, they are expressing the same feelings. To be told my ego is at play by someone else today was a bit unfair, I am allowed to be human and express what's going on. This stuff wakes us all up, it is so bloody sad. I do recognise that I did no more nor no less than anyone else did, and I do know that the message wasn't getting through, she was desperately unwell. It just feels so tragic.
We are allowed to feel. And it is so important we do feel, explore these emotions, not deny them, be honest. This is perfectly ok to do so and we shouldn't be judged on this either.
The rooms feel quite heavy at the mo as we all come to terms with what has happened. I know I'm not the only one feeling the way I do.
A whole range of feelings and emotions are coming up around this, from a sense of could I have done more to help, to anger, to sadness, shock n disbelief, to looking at my own recovery, there but for the grace of god go I. It's also bringing up feelings around the death of my father too. I'm trying so very hard not to make this about myself, but have to be honest and recognise these feelings going on and I am acutely aware are quite natural. By speaking with others who too tried to help, they are expressing the same feelings. To be told my ego is at play by someone else today was a bit unfair, I am allowed to be human and express what's going on. This stuff wakes us all up, it is so bloody sad. I do recognise that I did no more nor no less than anyone else did, and I do know that the message wasn't getting through, she was desperately unwell. It just feels so tragic.
We are allowed to feel. And it is so important we do feel, explore these emotions, not deny them, be honest. This is perfectly ok to do so and we shouldn't be judged on this either.
The rooms feel quite heavy at the mo as we all come to terms with what has happened. I know I'm not the only one feeling the way I do.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
in a very real way, it IS about those left behind.
the person who died is dead....you are left to deal with what you are feeling.
doesn't mean you are makingit about yourself and your ego.
last time one from my meeting died, a young person by suicide, someone arranged a pucnic in a local park....and many of us came, brought memories to share and food, and it was about them and us.
yes, i agree with you. It is important to feel these feelings, share them, work "through"them....all that is part of a sober life.
the person who died is dead....you are left to deal with what you are feeling.
doesn't mean you are makingit about yourself and your ego.
last time one from my meeting died, a young person by suicide, someone arranged a pucnic in a local park....and many of us came, brought memories to share and food, and it was about them and us.
yes, i agree with you. It is important to feel these feelings, share them, work "through"them....all that is part of a sober life.
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