2 weeks and ten days
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
2 weeks and ten days
Hello kind people. First hope all are well whatever doing. I m two weeks sober and 10 days SF. Interesting i gave up all when the stress picked up to unbelievable size. Nasty divorce case i cannot attend as in different country and no money for travel.. lawyer not knowing what to do as case complicated and there is power dynamic on side of my husband money , connections , private lawyers... and facing house reposession. I gave all up as eventually i felt free... not crying for help anymore... not being a victim . What is ... it is . I m letting it go ... nobody and nothing is worth more than my life and my integrity. So ... i m counting days and forward. To those who are scared to give up smoking as weight gain . I can assure with balanced diet and exercise i actually lost kg and toned. Plus i did not notice i had bigger appettite. I do not take sugar or sweets etc so maybe it is easier for me ... but it can be done. I can see no nasty cough , not getting up in the middle of night anxious to go outside and smoke to calm ... was it really calming ??? Doubt it. Now i feel calmer although the same scared while 
dealing with life. But i have respect to myself. Friend of mine said to me : i do not know how you survived those all losses and abuse. I said i had to as i adored life itself. I do not know what future brings . I m only grateful i was wise enough to let it go and stop self destruction . I still have faith. Now the biggest problem is fatigue but it is primary issue and related to stress cortisol realise. I accept . I rest pacing days... taking naps ... giving myself time to recover. Having still great hope for my future and wishing all the same . xD
dealing with life. But i have respect to myself. Friend of mine said to me : i do not know how you survived those all losses and abuse. I said i had to as i adored life itself. I do not know what future brings . I m only grateful i was wise enough to let it go and stop self destruction . I still have faith. Now the biggest problem is fatigue but it is primary issue and related to stress cortisol realise. I accept . I rest pacing days... taking naps ... giving myself time to recover. Having still great hope for my future and wishing all the same . xD
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
My divorce was the beginning of my lifelong search for my own peace, and it taught me how easily it can be undone by someone else's problems if I entwine my life with theirs. It was the worst and then the best thing I ever did for myself. I also walked away with nothing and I'm very happy with that. I'm not interested in long fights.
Well done, allishope. You're showing so much strength, courage, and self-love. You are going to be a whole new person!
Well done, allishope. You're showing so much strength, courage, and self-love. You are going to be a whole new person!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 230
Thanks people ... i m getting ready to court regarding house first time ... i was only at court as a worker hah . But my lawyer promised to come to support me knowing circumstances and buy some time so i can apply for own flat if husband do not cooperate to sell house. I m scared but i m going ... i m getting used to dealing ... do it .. rest ... do that ... rest ... takes so much energy . I am sober .i do not smoke. I do not do anything that would harm me. Things i do not have control i accept and just try to survive. Please pray for me that things will go well and can breathe for a while before back to battlefield. All my love X D
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