New here and just starting
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 5
New here and just starting
Hey all, I’ve been a lurker for the past four months or so and finally wanted to see if I could chime in and see what kind of support this brings. So, let me start out. I’m 43 year old, average professional. I have am married with kids and my wife also had a professional job.
I have always drank. In college I was the life of the party. Getting hammered most nights of the week. I graduated, took my first “real job” and again I spent most nights stopping by the bar on the way home. I’d get home and do whatever I needed to and then have a couple of cocktails before bed. At this point I was picking up a liter of whiskey about once a week. I spent probably 6 or seven years stuck in that rut and although I functioned fine and did my job well, I wondered if I was drinking “more than normal”.
As I moved to start my second job, I had a roommate and we both managed to function well, however every night was the same. Home from work, cocktails poured and we would hang out. I met my wife during this time and most weeks a 1.75 liter of whiskey lasted the week (with a few stops at the bar).
That leads me to getting married to my loving wife. She also drank with us, so upon getting married we continued that pattern. Picking up a liter for her and a 1.75 for me each Friday became our normal.
After kids we slowed down a bit for a couple of years (still having one or two most nights).
This past year my consumption rate has been through the roof. Last year my ast/alt numbers were elevated at my routine physical. This year they were through the roof....since then I have been only having 2-3 cocktails per night but I am discovering a 1.75 only lasts the weekend and another only lasts the week. I am still a very active parent, I get to work on time and don’t drink during the day......however, I know that this isn’t normal!
I am ready to be done....at least for a bit. I’m on day #3 of no cocktails. Haven’t had one since Sunday night. My wife still has her one drink a night, but she seems to be able to stop and my one drink would be like 6 of hers.
I’m just wanting to know it will be ok....I want to know that I can do this. I’m about 63 hours from my last drink and I have a goal of 30 days at this point!
If I can make it that long, I want to have my blood work re-done and see if my liver enzyme numbers have improved at all.
Thank you for listening and any suggestions would be appreciated.
I have always drank. In college I was the life of the party. Getting hammered most nights of the week. I graduated, took my first “real job” and again I spent most nights stopping by the bar on the way home. I’d get home and do whatever I needed to and then have a couple of cocktails before bed. At this point I was picking up a liter of whiskey about once a week. I spent probably 6 or seven years stuck in that rut and although I functioned fine and did my job well, I wondered if I was drinking “more than normal”.
As I moved to start my second job, I had a roommate and we both managed to function well, however every night was the same. Home from work, cocktails poured and we would hang out. I met my wife during this time and most weeks a 1.75 liter of whiskey lasted the week (with a few stops at the bar).
That leads me to getting married to my loving wife. She also drank with us, so upon getting married we continued that pattern. Picking up a liter for her and a 1.75 for me each Friday became our normal.
After kids we slowed down a bit for a couple of years (still having one or two most nights).
This past year my consumption rate has been through the roof. Last year my ast/alt numbers were elevated at my routine physical. This year they were through the roof....since then I have been only having 2-3 cocktails per night but I am discovering a 1.75 only lasts the weekend and another only lasts the week. I am still a very active parent, I get to work on time and don’t drink during the day......however, I know that this isn’t normal!
I am ready to be done....at least for a bit. I’m on day #3 of no cocktails. Haven’t had one since Sunday night. My wife still has her one drink a night, but she seems to be able to stop and my one drink would be like 6 of hers.
I’m just wanting to know it will be ok....I want to know that I can do this. I’m about 63 hours from my last drink and I have a goal of 30 days at this point!
If I can make it that long, I want to have my blood work re-done and see if my liver enzyme numbers have improved at all.
Thank you for listening and any suggestions would be appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
If you would like a suggestion, I would recommend stopping drinking, so congratulations on three days.
That's a great start. If you find you cannot stay stopped, action maybe required.
I'm glad you decided to post here. You'll find a lots of support here.
My drinking pattern was much different than yours. I was a full-blown alcoholic. And drank at every opportunity.
I had a friend who was a five o'clock drunk and only drank when the clock hit 5pm. It killed him. I won't go into the gory details.
It's really not the time or how much we drink, it's all about how it affects us.
If you find it's interfering with your life or causing you health problems, you may well have a problem.
Best to you and stick around.
If you would like a suggestion, I would recommend stopping drinking, so congratulations on three days.
That's a great start. If you find you cannot stay stopped, action maybe required.
I'm glad you decided to post here. You'll find a lots of support here.
My drinking pattern was much different than yours. I was a full-blown alcoholic. And drank at every opportunity.
I had a friend who was a five o'clock drunk and only drank when the clock hit 5pm. It killed him. I won't go into the gory details.
It's really not the time or how much we drink, it's all about how it affects us.
If you find it's interfering with your life or causing you health problems, you may well have a problem.
Best to you and stick around.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I would make your goal to be three months sober, then tests. It takes a while for the body to heal and get back to normal. It also takes a few months to truly see the benefits of sobriety. 
I know my blood tests came back alright a few months after I'd gotten sober.
I know my blood tests came back alright a few months after I'd gotten sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
some great advice here Functionalfool
I know that a 30 days target sounds a lit easier than forever but for me whenever I approached sobreity as a diet, I never lasted very long.
I had to see it as a poermanent life change.
That being said, forever terrified me, so I just committed to 24 hours at a time for awhile....making sure I did everything I could not to break that commitment.
before I knew it. I had a long string of days behind me and forever was not long so scary cos I was already doing it
I hope you'll feel that way at 30 days
Welcome aboard
D
I know that a 30 days target sounds a lit easier than forever but for me whenever I approached sobreity as a diet, I never lasted very long.
I had to see it as a poermanent life change.
That being said, forever terrified me, so I just committed to 24 hours at a time for awhile....making sure I did everything I could not to break that commitment.
before I knew it. I had a long string of days behind me and forever was not long so scary cos I was already doing it
I hope you'll feel that way at 30 days
Welcome aboard
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 5
Thanks all! It is a struggle and I agree that 30 days is a short sided goal, but I just imagine that after 30 days I won’t want to start up again. As I sit here tonight; this is the time I pour my cocktail....instead, tonight I’m pouring a straight Diet Coke and checking in here.....I feel silly looking for support from people I don’t know but your words of encouragement have already made it easier to just have a coke tonight! I’m ready for a change!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Great to meet you, Functionalfool! My drinking progressed in a very similar way. I did nothing about it, and ended up completely dependent on it. I'm so glad you're seeing what needs to be done, and taking action. Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 386
Functionalfool - Congrats on 3 days. You have a problem, you need to stop. What you are drinking is not normal. Don't ruin your liver. I can relate few instances of mine to you. Make every effort to stop. Don't think you can have less quantity, we don't have off switch, our brains work differently than normal drinkers. Do whatever to make it stop. Get help, attend meetings etc.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 5
Day four....I don’t feel like I look any different, but I do feel a little different. A bit shaky today (which was always the case..each and every morning...)
However I find rolling out of bed at 6:30 has me up before kids and I am packing lunches and making breakfast without being crabby! I also started to have a coffee with cream in the morning. (I never drank coffee before.) maybe just looking for something to change my routine.
I, like many of the stories I read always has/had an excuse....I told my doctor I only had 2-3 drinks a night (I left out that they had 6-8 Oz of booze in each) he suggested I cut back. At one point he said, “are you an alcoholic?”....I said, “no!” His next words are what after three months kept resonating with me, “well then don’t drink. Why don’t you take 30 days off and see how it goes. If you can’t do that than I think we need to look at options.”......so, finally on Sunday I thought I’d try it. It’s been tough in the evenings but I feel like I have more energy during the day, I’ve had my first dreams in many years. I’ve heard my kids get up in the middle of the night, which is something I never heard when having drinks. The longest I’ve gone in over 20 years is 4 days.....and I’ve done that twice but both times were because I simply couldn’t drink due to the responsibilities and circumstances. Today marks a tie for the longest I’ve gone but it also marks the first time I chose not to drink....I think I am in a good place. Just reading that I’m not the only one who has struggled really helps.
However I find rolling out of bed at 6:30 has me up before kids and I am packing lunches and making breakfast without being crabby! I also started to have a coffee with cream in the morning. (I never drank coffee before.) maybe just looking for something to change my routine.
I, like many of the stories I read always has/had an excuse....I told my doctor I only had 2-3 drinks a night (I left out that they had 6-8 Oz of booze in each) he suggested I cut back. At one point he said, “are you an alcoholic?”....I said, “no!” His next words are what after three months kept resonating with me, “well then don’t drink. Why don’t you take 30 days off and see how it goes. If you can’t do that than I think we need to look at options.”......so, finally on Sunday I thought I’d try it. It’s been tough in the evenings but I feel like I have more energy during the day, I’ve had my first dreams in many years. I’ve heard my kids get up in the middle of the night, which is something I never heard when having drinks. The longest I’ve gone in over 20 years is 4 days.....and I’ve done that twice but both times were because I simply couldn’t drink due to the responsibilities and circumstances. Today marks a tie for the longest I’ve gone but it also marks the first time I chose not to drink....I think I am in a good place. Just reading that I’m not the only one who has struggled really helps.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Northwest U.S.
Posts: 778
Hi there functionalfool! When I read your posts, I have an image of Mr. T yelling, "Don't drink, fool!" Hopefully you aren't offended; that was supposed to be funny. Anyway, I was 43 when I quit. My drinking progressed a bit different than yours, but I had been drinking for a very long time like you, had wife kids, and a great professional job. That was 1,010 days ago and giving up booze was the best decision I ever made. Now I am healthy and not self-sabotaging. Hopefully you will make your 30 day goal and then decide to make a permanent change. I would strongly suggest that you take those elevated counts very, very seriously. Additionally, I recommend that you read up on the effect of "kindling." Some people go on these 30-day drinking hiatuses and think that they are helping themselves or trying to prove to themselves that they don't really have a problem when, in fact, they are making things worse because of kindling. In any event, this is a really cool community with great people. I hope you stick around!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 5
Holy SH*T, it’s Friday! I have today off which means last night I would have really tied one on because after kids and wife left for school and work, I could pour a stiff one and sleep the day away! Instead, I was up at 6:40. Made breakfast, coffee and packed lunches. Now I’m hoping in the shower and heading out fishing with a buddy! It’s only been four nights and working on day five but so far so good. I can’t believe that I’m actually doing this! I just come here and read and read....so many awesome success stories and so many stories and support when a person does “slip up”.....This is going to be my first weekend of not drinking since I was probably 19. I am just going to plow through....coffee and Diet Coke....come on functionalfool, you have this!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well done! When your buddy presses you to drink, have an answer ready.
The weekend is so much nicer without alcohol. I'm going into weekend #236 alcohol-free.
I hope you'll decide to never drink again. It's the best thing ever. It took me a lot longer than 30 days to understand and appreciate how much better it is. I didn't really get back to normal for almost a year. 30 days I was still all over the place.
Here's the NIH article on Kindling. It's the dangerous reaction to going back to drinking. I've known more than one person who quit, went back and died shortly after.
The weekend is so much nicer without alcohol. I'm going into weekend #236 alcohol-free.
I hope you'll decide to never drink again. It's the best thing ever. It took me a lot longer than 30 days to understand and appreciate how much better it is. I didn't really get back to normal for almost a year. 30 days I was still all over the place.
Here's the NIH article on Kindling. It's the dangerous reaction to going back to drinking. I've known more than one person who quit, went back and died shortly after.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Welcome FF.
You are FAR from the only one who has struggled with this, as I know you know. Reading about and learning from those here on SR who went through the suffering and pain and came out the other end sober was absolutely essential to me finally getting sober. Posting here, trying, failing, trying again - I am not an AA guy, I don't do anything other than SR and my own reading etc and I am sober finally, at 41, for life.
Welcome again. Keep it moving. There is a better life for you and your family waiting for to seize it.
You are FAR from the only one who has struggled with this, as I know you know. Reading about and learning from those here on SR who went through the suffering and pain and came out the other end sober was absolutely essential to me finally getting sober. Posting here, trying, failing, trying again - I am not an AA guy, I don't do anything other than SR and my own reading etc and I am sober finally, at 41, for life.
Welcome again. Keep it moving. There is a better life for you and your family waiting for to seize it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 5
Thanks for checking in! Made it through the day fishing with a buddy...he didn’t pressure me at all as I declined running to shore and grabbing some beers for the boat by saying I’m trying to take 30 days off from alcohol. He then said, “ok...let’s go grab some waters.” He came back with a can of sparkling water for each of us. Even texted our wives a picture of us each drinking a sparkling water...(that’s not common for me!)
We fished, Cale Home and made a keto pizza for my wife and I and burgers for kids.....actually settled in watching a local football game on TV...I have a Diet Coke in my favorite cocktail glass and my wife is having her one cocktail. I am so grateful that you asked....helps to keep me honest and on track. Just was telling my wife how good I felt in the morning all week long! I don’t know that I will ever want to go back....
We fished, Cale Home and made a keto pizza for my wife and I and burgers for kids.....actually settled in watching a local football game on TV...I have a Diet Coke in my favorite cocktail glass and my wife is having her one cocktail. I am so grateful that you asked....helps to keep me honest and on track. Just was telling my wife how good I felt in the morning all week long! I don’t know that I will ever want to go back....
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