mns1

Hi guys.

So I drank over the weekend on my one month mark. I was driving down the highway Saturday night listening to a podcast. They mentioned that they were drinking whiskey and I just got slammed with an overwhelming craving. There was a liqour store conveniently located off the exit of the highway when I got off. And you know how the rest went..

Anyway I know my guard was down, and I know that that was at least partly due to the fact that I went from logging in to SR every single day, mutliple time per day, to only logging in once every few days. I know this because it’s the same damned pattern every time. I post a lot for the first week or two of sobriety, then gradually post less and less, then eventually find myself in a situation like I did Saturday. And anyone who knows me knows that you won’t see me on here for months and months until I come crawling back with my latest tale of self-pity.

I am not letting that happen this time. I quickly found that my little weekend binge was not worth it (never is) and that sobriety is the only way to go. I know consistently posting on here keeps me focused on staying sober. But I feel like I need to find a way to stay motivated to post even when I feel “secure” in my sobriety, even when I only have a little bit of time during the day, and even when I don’t necessarily feel like logging on.

What keeps you motivated to keep logging in even when you are busy, tired, or just feel like you are pretty secure?

Be123

I post every morning to remind me of what I am doing - I use it to plan, mentally, my day. As in ‘This is another day - this is what I’ll do to stay sober’

I post every evening to recap my day, debrief really. I post occasionally on other peoples threads if it’s similar to my experience - or sometimes with some silly (I think witty!) comment.

My motivation is that I can’t go back to drinking. The ten minutes it takes me helps me plan, reflect and be accountable. I have other things I need to DO daily, this is a small but important part of it.

I’d do anything at all to not go back

least

I am motivated to post by the many relapse posts. I want to offer encouragement to them, and it also reminds me what will happen if I drink again.

Michael2018

Thank you! It helps to have long term sober people here

jbhall

Hi, Mike. I'm a terrible poster, and logging in in general. What made me log in today, was my current 6 day success and I felt an obligation to try to inspire others. That's what made me log in. The people on here have been there for me, and I thought today, while I've got some success under my belt (barely, but still) that I owed it to those struggling to post encouragement.

Aliceiw

Hi, Mike -- Congratulations for getting right back up after your slip.

I sometimes feel unmotivated to post in here, but I do at least try to read every day. I'm afraid that I might slip. The AV has been calling me recently because of pain. It's a daily struggle not to cave because I live within a mile of 4 liquor stores. Ugh. I have to consciously remind my self of how unhappy I was with myself after nights of drinking. The guilt, the hangover, the not knowing what I did the night before. All of that ugliness helps keep me on track....so far.

We miss you in the August class. I hope you come back.

saoutchik

Hi Mike, I'm glad you limited the damage.

I think that there are a combination of things that keep me posting but mostly it's knowing that I am in recovery, i'm not cured. I have more sober time and the cravings don't lurk, waiting for me every night but I am still only one drink away from relapse, the same as I was on day one. Fortunately things do improve and so if I went back to my early posts many of them would have been about my own early situation but as time goes on it is more about passing on my own experiences, good and bad and of course, as Hevyn alluded to reading about other peoples problems with alcohol does reinforce my own determination to stay off it long after my own memories of the pain and suffering have started to get feint.

saoutchik

Great avatar!

nez

My past history.

mns1

Thanks for your responses.

Alice I have several liqour stores within 5 minutes of my house too so I know how that is. And the first place I went to post today was in the August class thread! That group is a huge reason I made it to a month in the first place.

I guess my problem is I tend to get complacent and lose sight of the fact that frequent check-ins on here are actually a critical element to me staying focused, even when I feel “secure” in my sobriety. Even now as I sit here, I am not craving alcohol at all. And what am I doing? Posting! I spent all day terrified that I was going to be craving hard again tonight, but that’s not the case. And I honestly believe it is because I posted today rather than letting my AV convince me to just say to hell with it and disappear for months again.

bexxed

I joined in June of 2011 but didn’t actually get sober until 2016. During that time I came and went countless times. I know now what I didn’t do, but I want to be real and say that it wasn’t for lack of my “real self” wanting a fulfilled life... it was for lack of doing the right combination of things to support one (giant) small thing: not drinking, today.

So I come here. Sometimes I think I inspire people but mostly and more importantly, I’m another drunk here, who understands you.

I came here every day for a very good long time, because it was one of the things I hadn’t done every time I had tried before. Joined a class, and kept up with it after our month had passed. Now I often just read and give my thanks. I mean it when I press the thanks button. It’s not a like button, but a thanks button.

Coming here keeps me grateful.

Ayers

Mike, I also responded to you in our Class thread. The reason I post is somewhat selfish in a way - I use it as journaling. I also keep reminding myself that I might just post something that might just be what someone out there needs to read.

This forum has been my saving grace . I also try to remember that daily - to be grateful for having all you people in my life - to know that there is someone out there in the universe maybe thinking of me , or maybe reading something I wrote that helps them on their journey.

I have also had times when I did not feel like posting, but I kept reading , and hitting the thanx button . And it helped.

And then, I don't attend any other meetings like AA sor such - this site is my "get outside help" , and it seems to be working for me. I can remember clearly how you helped me when I started out, and I'm on day 19 today - still early days - but for me it is HUGE . And you are one of the people who helped get me here - why ? Because you responded and posted . So glad you're back , my friend .

Delilah1

Hi Mike,

I am another who joined SR and took a while to finally get sobriety. I will have three years sober on January 1st, and I still log in and post daily, it is a big part of my recovery plan. I make a daily post in the 24 hour thread for my own accointwbiktu, and I also enjoy checking in to see how everyone else is doing, it's a very supportive thread. I also spend some time in the Newcomers thread each day, I find offering support to others is another part of my recovery plan.

mns1

I agree that interacting with people who understand or who can feel understood by us definitely produces a good feeling, even if it's just saying welcome to a newcomer. I just need to keep remembering that I am always one drink away from full-blown relapse. This past weekend was definitely a reminder of that.

Delilah congrats on your sober time and I admire your commitment! I am going to try and be a consistent poster in the 24-hour thread as well.

Arpeggioh

Considering that I joined SR 12 years ago, my post count is pretty low. I finally started posting more when I joined a Class Of thread, and I credit that for my approaching 18 months of continued sobriety.

But this forum is my favorite place to read online. I check news headlines in the morning, cringe as needed, then come here to immerse myself in sober talk. I get a lot more from this site than I give, to be honest. Sometimes I feel 'qualified' to respond to certain posts, but mostly I read, to remind myself of the devastation that easily awaits me if I ever return to drinking.

My longest relapses were the ones when I disappeared from, and totally ignored, this website, so I'm not going anywhere!

CaptainHaddock

Hi Mike, good to see that you are back. I echo what others have said about logging on to read even if you don’t feel like posting. Like yours, my experience has been that if I stray, the booze won’t be far away. I sometimes force myself to log on, even if it is to read only a post or two. Mostly though, I come here because I enjoy it and, especially, the sense of community it brings. Together we are stronger definitely rings true!