Tlg123

Hello..

First time posting on here and apologies as this has probably been posted on here how many times before!!

Anyway.. my issue is once i drink i camt stop. It's totally out of control. At the moment i dont even enjoy drinking but iver the past two days it has cost me a week's wages and it makes me miserable and my partner miserable too.

One of my issues is people seem to love it when i go out and get drunk etc. and i play up to it after a drink. I keep telling myself i need to change but it seems that i can't. I've been in this situation so many times before, but i just dont know where to start to tackle my problem? What worked for other people?

I live in a city in the north of england and alcohol is a massive part of life from my parents to my friends to even the people i work with it's none stop.

Anyway, any advice would be much appreciated. Im sick of this scenario now

PhoenixJ

Welcome to SR, Tlg. A safe and supportive community. My story is very extreme, but you can learn by thinking stuff through.

- Make a plan..a recovery plan..lots of info in the Newcomer's sticky's.
- Go to lots of meetings
- see your GP and get a full health check
- think about joining a rehab program..or detox
- see a counsellor
- journal
Remember HALTS..if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired/thirsty or Sad/stressed..fix it or get help.
- See a psychologist about using CBT.
- Make a routine for home..to look after your environment and self care
- exercise

My support to you.

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR!!!

My off switch doesn't work either. My solution was to not start. I thought it was going to be difficult because everyone is drinking. Turns out that was mostly just in my head. Lots of people don't drink. I just didn't know many because I was always drinking - so I hung out with drinkers!

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

biminiblue

It's that first drink I stay away from.

If I don't have that first drink, it will never again be out of control.

If I sit on the railroad tracks and a train comes it's the engine that will kill me, not the caboose.

With alcohol it's all or nothing. Nothing is so much easier.

Culture

I took it a day at a time, read up on all things alcoholism related, made sure I ate regularly, got on here every day and stayed away from drinkers as much as I could. I know that last part is difficult but I just said I'm on meds/trying to get fitter/doing a month dry for charity/driving etc and after a while people stopped being interested. Also keep busy and change your daily routine so your not triggered into drinking.

Jadah

I am glad to read the posts from others. Thank you for sharing. Its hard to be family and watch the self-destruction too

Mac4711

Welcome on board! I second Bimini’s suggestion: the most important thing for you is to not take that first drink! Everything flows from there. Prepare yourself to get challenged over and over again (‘why don’t you just have one glass?’, ‘you’re no fun when you don’t drink’, etc.). There’ll be pressure from parents, friends , co-workers. Make sure you’ve got an answer that you’re comfortable with. Maybe it’s ‘doctor’s orders, it increases my blood pressure’ or ‘I’m taking this medication and can’t drink’ or ‘I’m doing sober September’ or whatever. Do not go to pubs in early sobriety, like the first 2 or 3 months.
Same as you, I come from a culture steeped in alcohol, so I know how hard it will be. You will lose ‘friends’ (that are really only drinking buddies), you’ll be mocked, and you’ll think you’re ‘missing out on the good times’.
But guess what: like with everything, people will get used to it and the trade off for initial hardship will be good health and a much, much better life that beats by far what you’ve got right now. Good luck!

Anna

Welcome, Tig!

It's a bit overwhelming at the outset, but it helps if you make a plan for how to get through each day and each week without drinking. Often that means making lifestyle changes. If your social life revolves around alcohol, then obviously you will need to make some tough decisions.

One thing for sure, you can live an exciting and happy life as a sober person.

least

Welcome! I hope our support can help you get sober for good.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Tlg

I'm an Aaussie - I thought everyone drank too - certainly everyone I knew did...but it affected me dofferently - it took over my life. So I stopped. I foind there were actually a lot of other people who didn;t drink at all, and an even greater number who did not drink to write themselves off. That was a real revelation to me.

I had to make a lot of changes in my life but I don't regret them - I'm happy now - I could never say that as a drinker.

I hope you decide to give it a decent go - you'll find a lot of support here

D

Hevyn

Great to meet you, Tig! I'm so glad you recognize what drinking does to your life. It really helps to know we're not alone. We're here to encourage you - welcome!

rayna87

I can totally relate to this. If you asked 9 out of 10 people who know me, including my family, chances are pretty good they’d have some story about me drinking. One friend of a friend in particular thinks it’s so “funny” and “cool” that I drank an entire bottle of wine out of one very large wine glass on the 4th of July. I’ve literally heard my wine story like 3 times since. And, when I sat down at the ‘best friend’s’ (who is our mutual friend) birthday dinner a few weekends ago, and immediately picked up the wine menu, that same guy literally told me that’s why he loved me.

I don’t find it cool or funny to be drinking like that anymore. I’m unfortunately in the situation where so much of my life, even my family life, revolves around drinking so I’m having a hard time managing that aspect but I do understand trying to control it around people who think it’s okay. The advice I’ve gotten here is to avoid those types of people and situations. I’m working in following that advice. But wanted to say that I understand.

Delilah1

Hi Tig,

Welcome to SR, you will find lots of support here. Several people mentioned recovery plans, and that was definitely key for me to finally get sober. Here is a great link to them:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

For me, I have found logging on here and reading and posting each day to be a big part of my plan, even now as I get close to three years sober. I also exercise every day, mostly walking outdoors, I find it helps clear my head of whatever is going on. I have used mindfulness techniques to help me remain grounded in the present. I have had the tenedency to dwell on past mistakes, or completely stress about the future, and I now use mindfulness to help with that.

You can do this, and I know one day at anime sounds cliche, but that's really what it is.

Looking forward to seeing you on SR!

FreeOwl

welcome!

Well, what I did in similar circumstances was I SUFFERED for decades.

Then, finally, when things became progressively worse and my drinking threatened to rob absolutely everything I loved, I made a CHOICE.

I CHOSE to embrace SOBRIETY.
Then I took ACTION - to support that choice each day.

I built for myself (with the help of AA, other alcoholics, a therapist and my family) a vision of a better, happier, gratefully-sober life.

I built for myself lists of people I could look up to who were sober.

I built for myself a new set of beliefs - that being SOBER was being PRESENT and AUTHENTIC and REAL and FUN.

I made CHOICES - to stop going places and hanging out with people when it was purely about alcohol.

I took ACTIONS - to try new, sober things.

And I worked at it, and worked at it, and worked at it.

And..... it worked.

You can, too.