Dave42001

Happy Saturday.

September 8

Daily Reflections

"WE ASKED HIS PROTECTION"

We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

I could not manage life alone. I had tried that road and failed. My
"ultimate sin" dragged me down to the lowest level I have ever
reached and, unable even to function, I accepted the fact that I
desperately needed help. I stopped fighting and surrendered
entirely to God. Only then did I start growing! God forgave me. A
Higher Power had to have saved me, because the doctors doubted
that I would survive. I have forgiven myself now and I enjoy a
freedom I have never before experienced. I've opened my heart
and mind to Him. The more I learn, the less I know - a humbling
fact - but I sincerely want to keep growing. I enjoy serenity, but
only when I entrust my life totally to God. As long as I am honest
with myself and ask for His help, I can maintain this rewarding
existence. Just for today, I strive to live His will for me - soberly. I
thank God that today I can choose not to drink. Today, life is
beautiful!

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Another of the mottoes of A.A. is "But for the Grace of God." Once
we have fully accepted the program we become humble about our
achievement. We do not take too much credit for our sobriety.
When we see another suffering alcoholic in the throes of
alcoholism, we say to ourselves: "But for the Grace of God, there
go I." We do not forget the kind of people we were. We
remember those we left behind us. And we are very grateful to
the grace of God which has given us another chance. Am I truly
grateful for the grace of God?

Meditation For The Day

A consciousness of God's presence, as One who loves you makes all
life different. The consciousness of God's love promotes the
opening of your whole being to God. It brings wonderful relief from
the cares and worries of our daily lives. Relief brings peace and
peace brings contentment. Try to walk in God's love. You will have
that peace which passes all understanding and a contentment that
no one can take from you. Feel sure of God's unfailing love and
care for you and for all His children. There is freedom and serenity
in those who walk in God's love, held safe in His loving care.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may walk in God's love, I pray that, as I go, I may feel the
caring of God's power in my steps and the joy of His love in my heart.

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As Bill Sees It

Prayer Under Pressure, p.250

Whenever I find myself under acute tensions, I lengthen my daily
walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my
steps and breathing.

If I feel that my pain has in part been occasioned by others, I try
to repeat, "God grant me the serenity to love their best, and
never fear their worst." This benign healing process of repetition,
sometimes necessary to persist with for days, has seldom failed to
restore me to at least a workable emotional balance and
perspective.

Grapevine, March 1962

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Walk In Dry Places

Admitting a Wrong
Inventory.
It is all but impossible for some people to make the simple admission, I was wrong.
We might have a problem with such admissions because we tend to believe that
they place us at a disadvantage.
The reality is that the sooner we can admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can
be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong, the more
rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a
wrong means making more of the same mistakes, thus bringing further harm
to ourselves and others.
We may have trouble admitting a wrong because we once faced excessive
punishments when we were found wrong. We can find our true course
by realizing that admission of our wrongs is the route to well-being and
improvement.
I'll continue to take every opportunity to learn when I might be
wrong, thus helping to avoid such mistakes in the future.

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Keep It Simple

I have an intense desire to return to the womb---Anybody’s ! ---Woody Allen
Some days the world just doesn’t seem safe. Maybe a friend died and you are hurting.
Maybe you argued with a loved one. You just want somebody to take care of you.
You want to feel safe and warm.
Turn to the spiritual part of the program. Let your Higher Power hold you with warm,
loving care. Pray. Pray to feel the programs will find you. Why? Because you’ve
opened your heart to recovery. To be loved, you have to open up to love.
Prayer for the Day: I pray for an open heart. I pray that love of the program will
find me and comfort me. Higher Power, I need Your love as a child needs the love of parents.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll list three times the world has felt unsafe. I’ll meditate
on how things would have been different if I had turned to my Higher Power for comfort.

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Each Day a New Beginning

It's astonishing in this world how things don't turn out at all the way
you expect them to! --Agatha Christie
Probably every day of our lives, a plan goes awry. Often we have
counted heavily on a particular outcome. We generally assume we
have all things under control and know exactly what's best for us,
and everyone else as well. But such is not the case. There is a bigger
picture than the one we see. The outcome of that picture is out of our hands.
Our vision is limited, and again divinely so. However, we are able to see
all that we need to see, today. And more important, if we can trust our
inner guidance regarding the events of today, we'll begin to see how each
day fills in a shade more of the bigger picture of our lives. In retrospect
we can see how all events have contributed, in important ways, to the
women we are becoming. Where today's events are leading we can't
know, for certain, but we can trust the divine plan.
I will anticipate with faith what lies ahead today. All experiences carry me
forward to fulfill my goal in life. I will be alert for the nudge.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 9 - The Family Afterwards

Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize to laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produce the contrary effect. Members of a family should watch such matters carefully, for one careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil. We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap.

p. 125

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

My Chance To Live

A.A. gave this teenager the tools to climb out of her dark abyss of despair.

When I couldn't find an easier, softer way, I looked for the person with the magic wand, the one person in A.A. who could make me all better, right now. This was a frustrating task, and I finally realized that if I wanted this life, I was going to have to do what the others had done. No one made me drink, and no one was going to make me stay sober. This program is for people who want it, not for people who need it.

p. 315

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

Therefore, thoroughness ought to be the watchword when taking inventory. In this connection, it is wise to write out our questions and answers. It will be an aid to clear thinking and honest appraisal. It will be the first tangible evidence of our complete willingness to move forward.

p. 54

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The world has a way of giving what is demanded of it. If you are
frightened and look for failure and poverty, you will get them, no
matter how hard you may try to succeed. Lack of faith in yourself, in
what life will do for you, cuts you off from the good things of the
world. Expect victory and you make victory.
--Preston Bradley

Today is a day of opportunities. I am open and ready to find them all,
knowing that I am receiving all the guidance I need to be forward and
be happy.
--Ruth Fishel

"By giving unconditional love ... we become more loving, and by
sharing spiritual growth we become more spiritual."
--Just For Today, p. 99

Today, I will remind myself as often as necessary that I am not a
victim, and I do not need to be victimized by whatever comes my way.
I will work hard to remove myself as a victim, whether that means
setting and enforcing a boundary, walking away, dealing with my
feelings, or giving myself what I need. God, help me let go of my need
to feel victimized.
--Melody Beattie

"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."
--H. Jackson Brown Jr.

None of us has the power to make someone else love us.
But we all have the power to give away love, to love other people.
And if we do so, we change the kind of person we are,
and we change the kind of world we live in.
--Rabbi Harold Kushner, in Handbook for the Heart

Wisdom cannot be taught. It can only be learned.
--Source Unknown

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.
--Wayne Dyer

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

LIES

"A liar needs a good memory."
-- Quintilian

I lied to impress. I lied to hide my guilt and shame. I lied to cover my
mistakes. I lied to bridge the silence. I lied to fantasize. I lied to hurt
and destroy. I lied to hide the real me. Then I lied to cover the lies.
Then I lied to cover the lies I told to cover the original lies! So it
went on. Endless. Exhausting. Meaningless. A part of me always
loathed the lies I told. Then I grew to hate myself.

Today, because I understand spirituality to be based on truth, I try
not to tell lies. When I do lie, I make an effort to correct myself
and apologize. Today lying is painful for me. Today I try to use my
mind, imagination and memory for better things.

O God, who gave mankind the miracle of language and
communication, let me not abuse Your gift with destructive deceit.

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"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our
sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9

Unless the LORD had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the
silence of death. When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O
LORD, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your
consolation brought joy to my soul.
Psalm 94:17-19

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from
there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to
bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so
that they will be like his glorious body.
Phillipians 3:20-21

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Daily Inspiration

Those that meet you will most likely not forget you, but how you are
remembered is your choice. Lord, may I live with kindness, mercy, and love in my heart.

Our body is the temple of God and our soul is His image. It is the devil's
work to make us forget that and feel useless, incapable and worthless. Lord, I will not deny
Your existence in me. I am strong and capable because You live and work through me.

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NA Just For Today

Rebellion

"We need not lose faith when we become rebellious."
Basic Text p.34

Many of us have lived our entire lives in revolt. Our initial response to any type of direction is often negative. Automatic rejection of authority seems to be a troubling character defect for many addicts.

A thorough self-examination can show us how we react to the world around us. We can ask ourselves if our rebellion against people, places, and institutions is justified. If we keep writing long enough, we can usually get past what others did and uncover our own part in our affairs. We find that what others did to us was not as important as how we responded to the situations we found ourselves in.

Regular inventory allows us to examine the patterns in our reactions to life and see if we are prone to chronic rebelliousness. Sometimes we will find that, while we may usually go along with what is suggested to us rather than risk rejection, we secretly harbor resentments against authority. If left to themselves, these resentments can lead us away from our program of recovery.

The inventory process allows us to uncover, evaluate, and alter our rebellious patterns. We can't change the world by taking an inventory, but we can change the way we react to it.

Just for today: I want freedom from the turmoil of rebelliousness. Before I act, I will inventory myself and think about my true values.
pg. 262

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
One must lose one's life in order to find it. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh
We are often so busy trying to control the outcome of the happenings in our daily lives, so intent on projecting our tomorrows that we let life slip by. Life is today. This is all we have for sure--the moments in our lives we cannot hold. Sometimes it feels as if those moments are beyond time and place, gifts from God to receive and give up at the same time. Like a dragonfly that lights on our hand and will either be crushed or will fly away if we try to close our fingers over it.
Life is a series of things to let go of--our friends and loved ones, our children as they grow, our dreams, or our youth. Only we ourselves, our inner selves, are a constant to be found and learned about every day, in the present moment.
How well can I enjoy each moment today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It's hard for me to keep my emotions inside. I want to express them now. That's what a team is all about. --Earvin "Magic" Johnson
We become part of a team in this program. That's why all the Steps are written with the word we rather than I. We cannot fully surrender to renewal simply by reading about it, hearing about it, or thinking about it. We become participants, members, and peers. We go to meetings and express the details of our lives, and we learn from the stories of others. In our relationships we learn to let our emotions out.
When we say, "He's hard to get to know," we are talking about someone who doesn't show feelings. Team members express their feelings to build a bond between themselves and gain a familiarity with each other. A man may say, "I'm the sort of guy who doesn't do well in groups," or "I'm not the type to express my feelings." But for the sake of recovery, we must endure the awkwardness of learning new things. On this recovery team it is all right to come just the way we are, awkwardness and all.
Today, I will not hold back my emotions. I will let people know me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
It's astonishing in this world how things don't turn out at all the way you expect them to! --Agatha Christie
Probably every day of our lives, a plan goes awry. Often we have counted heavily on a particular outcome. We generally assume we have all things under control and know exactly what's best for us, and everyone else as well. But such is not the case. There is a bigger picture than the one we see. The outcome of that picture is out of our hands.
Our vision is limited, and again divinely so. However, we are able to see all that we need to see, today. And more important, if we can trust our inner guidance regarding the events of today, we'll begin to see how each day fills in a shade more of the bigger picture of our lives. In retrospect we can see how all events have contributed, in important ways, to the women we are becoming. Where today's events are leading we can't know, for certain, but we can trust the divine plan.
I will anticipate with faith what lies ahead today. All experiences carry me forward to fulfill my goal in life. I will be alert for the nudge.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Stopping Our Pain
Some of my feelings have been stored so long they have freezer burn. --Beyond Codependency
There are many sources of pain in our life. Those of us recovering from adult children and codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings, sometimes from early childhood to the present, that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support and permission to deal with.
There are other inevitable sources of pain in our life too. There is the sadness and grief that comes when we experience change, even good change, as we let go of one part of our life, and begin our journey into the new.
There is pain in recovery, as we begin allowing ourselves to feel while dropping our protective shield of denial.
There is the pain that leads and guides us into better choices for our future.
We have many choices about how to stop this pain. We may have experimented with different options. Compulsive and addictive behaviors stop pain - temporarily. We may have used alcohol, other drugs, relationships, or sex to stop our pain.
We may talk compulsively or compulsively focus on other people and their needs as a way to avoid or stop our pain.
We may use religion to avoid our feelings.
We may resort to denial of how we are feeling to stop our pain.
We may stay so busy that we don't have time to feel. We may use money, exercise, or food to stop our pain.
We have many choices. To survive, we may have used some of these options, only to find that these were Band Aids - temporary pain relievers that did not solve the problem. They did not really stop our pain; they postponed it.
In recovery, there is a better choice about how we may stop pain. We can face it and feel it. When we are ready, with our Higher Power's help, we can summon the courage to feel the pain, let it go, and let the pain move forward - into a new decision, a better life.
We can stop the behaviors we are doing that cause pain, if that's appropriate. We can make a decision to remove ourselves from situations that cause repeated, similar pain. We can learn the lesson our pain is trying to teach us.
If we are being pelted by pain, there is a lesson. Trust that idea. Something is being worked out in us. The answer will not come from addictive or other compulsive behaviors; we will receive the answer when we feel our feelings.
It takes courage to be willing to stand still and feel what we must feel. Sometimes, we have what seems like endless layers of pain inside us. Pain hurts. Grief hurts. Sadness hurts. It does not feel good. But neither does denying what is already there; neither does living a lifetime with old and new pockets of pain packed, stored, and stacked within.
It will only hurts for a while, no longer than necessary, to heal us. We can trust that if we must feel pain, it is part of healing, and it is good. We can become willing to surrender to and accept the inevitable painful feelings that are a good part of recovery.
Go with the flow, even when the flow takes us through uncomfortable feelings. Release, freedom, healing, and good feelings are on the other side.
Today, I am open and willing to feel what I need to feel. I am willing to stop my compulsive behaviors. I am willing to let go of my denial. I am willing to feel what I need to feel to be healed, healthy, and whole.

I am exactly where I'm supposed to be today. Everything about this day, this place, this moment is perfect. Everything about me is perfect in this moment. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Get Out from Under the Gun

How often in life, in the busy world around us, we begin to feel as though we’re “under the gun.” Daily pressures can mount until our body feels as though someone is actually pointing a gun at us saying. Hurry. Finish. Do this or else. That feeling is not conducive to joy, creativity, or doing our best. That attitude creates stress, sometimes unbearable stress.

Some of us have lived under the gun so long we’re not even aware of it. But our bodies are. We feel tense, stressed, frightened, on edge. Many of us have felt that way so long we’ve gotten used to it. That’s just how it is, we say with resignation.

But that’s not how it needs to be. Gently take the gun away from whoever is pointing it at you. Lay it on the table. Tell that person the task will get done, the situation will come about much better, much more creatively, much more timely without the gun. Most importantly, tell yourself that,too.

Acknowledge commitments. Acknowledge the necessity of timely accomplishments of tasks. Then acknowledge the way and wisdom of the heart with joy. It will see you through to get everything done, and you won’t have to be under the gun.

*****

more language of letting go
Be a team player

You may have heard this saying: "Unless you're the lead dog, the view never changes."

Not everyone is the lead dog. Not everyone is the CEO or leading man. Better to be a working actor than an out-of-work star. At least you're in the play.

Every person who has accomplished anything of value in this world and is honest, recognizes that he or she hasn't done it alone. They're part of a team. Even Christ had a group of Apostles.

If you're in a supporting role, accept it. Not everyone is a leader every time. By being part of the cast, you can make the entire production stronger. You can do your part to make it work. And you'll learn the humility and team spirit that will be so important if you do get that lead.

Take a look at your life. Are you living as fully as you can where you are right now? Or are you waiting until someone recognizes your true talent to really give it your all? If you're in a supporting rather than a starring role, maybe it's because the cast needs the strength and talents that you can provide. Maybe the team needs a blocker. Life is not so much about the greatness of the role we're given as it is the heart with which we play it.

It's great to strive for the lead-dog position, but give yourself permission to enjoy and contribute from the level that you're at right now.

God, help me to accept the role that I have been given and to play it with dignity and to the best of my ability.

*****

A Softer Touch
Apply Gentleness to Everything

Throughout life we must cope with blockages that impede our forward momentum. Whether these obstacles are of a personal, professional, or societal nature, our first instinct may be to push against the obstruction. But the simplest way to alleviate resistance is to approach it gently, with a soft manner and kind intentions. Struggle and strife can find no foothold when confronted with mildness because conflict can only exist when fed by two opposing forces. So many areas of our lives can benefit from the application of gentleness. The beauty of gentleness lies in its multifaceted nature. It is part love, part compassion, part patience, part understanding, and part respect for others. When we move through life gently as a matter of course, we naturally attract these wonderful elements into our lives.

This does not mean that gentle people are by nature passive or meek. Rather, their copious inner power is manifested in their gentleness and their choice to move with the flow of the universe instead of against it. You can make use of gentleness in your own life by applying it in situations where you feel challenged by your circumstances or by people in your environment. As you move forward gently, the energy pervading your life will likely shift and, consequently, the blockages before you will vanish. Cooperation progresses smoothly when approached gently because all parties involved feel confident that their needs will be met. And quarrels are easily quelled with gentleness because the dualistic concepts of losing and winning are made moot by our willingness to exercise infinite patience with those whose values differ from our own.

Gentleness must be practiced, as we are inadvertently encouraged to act competitive in certain phases of our lives. At first, your established habits may make being truly gentle challenging. Yet after a time, if you commit to consciously applying gentleness to all areas of your life, whether by collaborating rather than competing or yielding graciously to the impassable roadblocks in your path in order to seek a new road, you will find that you begin to act gently habitually. Your patterns of thought and behavior become ever more peaceful, and you will discover that you encounter far less impassable resistance on your individual journey. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We are told in The Program that no situation is hopeless. At first, of course, we find this hard to believe. The opposites — hope and despair — are human emotional attitudes. It is we who are hopeless, not the condition of our lives. When we give up hope and become depressed, it’s because we’re unable, for now, to believe in the possibility of a change for the better. Can I accept this: “not everything that is faced can be changed; but nothing can be changed until it is faced…”?

Today I Pray

May I remember that, because I am human and can make choices, I am never “hopeless.” Only the situation I find myself in may seem hopeless, which may reduce me to a state of helpless depression as I see my choices being blocked off. May I remember, too, that even when I see no solution, I can choose to ask God’s help.

Today I Will Remember

I can choose not to be hopeless.

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One More Day

Every great mistake has a halfway moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied.
– Pearl S. Buck

We’ve all made decisions we’ve regretted. Regret doesn’t change things, but we can learn to make better decisions in the future. Often there are moments in our decision-making process — especially in relationships — when we can still change our minds. At those times, we can reconsider what we want to say or do. is it important enough to jeopardize a friendship? Sometimes it is, and that can’t be helped.

But usually we discover we do want to preserve the relationship. We owe it to ourselves and our friends to look again, to think again, about what is being discussed or argued or decided. Sometimes, winning or being right isn’t as important as the relationship.

I will take time to decide what is important and what isn’t.

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Food For Thought

Amends to Ourselves

By our compulsive overeating, we ourselves have usually been hurt more than anyone else. Because we could not trust ourselves, we had little self-respect or self-confidence. In many cases, we actually hated ourselves for what we thought was weakness and now know to be a disease.

By ourselves, we cannot control the illness, but through OA and our Higher Power, we are able to recover. With recovery comes a new attitude toward self. We see that we find happiness by abstaining from compulsive overeating and seeking every day to do God’s will. New power and order enter into our daily activities, and we begin to approve of ourselves.

The best way that we can make amends to ourselves for self-hate and failure to develop our abilities is by maintaining our abstinence each day. We then gain the confidence to say no to those things which are not in our best interest. Instead of destroying ourselves with too much food and the wrong kind of activities, we are building a new life fed with the nourishment from our Higher Power.

Thank You for new opportunities to grow.

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One Day At A Time

DREAMS
“You’ve got to have a dream
in order to make a dream come true.”
Oscar Hammerstein II

Since first hearing this saying many years ago, I have come to believe in it. I have always had the dream of being happy, healthy, helpful and whole, but it wasn’t until I found this program (or it found me) that I am learning I can have all of these things. Through the program I am being shown a way to achieve them.

When I first joined the program, I just wanted to lose weight. But as I continue to understand and learn about the program, my dream is slowly coming true. It’s a slow path for me right now, but as long as I keep the dream alive in my mind, heart and soul, I know I'll be able to accomplish it one day at a time!

One day at a time...
I ask my Higher Power to keep me on the right path toward my dream of being happy, healthy, helpful and whole. And right now, in this moment, I am grateful for my dream and for the opportunity to fulfill it.
~ Lorraine ~

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish. - Pg. 34 - More About Alcoholism

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

We can't always choose where or what we are in life, but we can choose how to view it. Adversity can be seen as an opportunity to work our spiritual program of life. And always when one door is closed to us, another one opens.

Give me the courage to face every adversity with the spiritual tools I am given in this program.

Necessary Losses

Over the holidays I sometimes feel melancholy for people who are no longer around. Life is full of gains and losses, they are inevitable but I feel their loss more keenly during these days when family and friends gather. I recall what the holidays felt like when they were here. I will say a quiet prayer of appreciation for all that they have been to me and I will ask for the strength to go on without them in my daily life. And I will recognize that remembering them is honoring their spirit and what they meant to me. No one is ever really lost if I hold them in my heart. When I hold them with love, I feel full rather than empty. I feel blessed by their presence in my heart rather than punished by their absence. Or maybe a little of both, but holding them with appreciation lets the memory of them feel alive and nourishing.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Daily meditation for about 20 minutes is recommended for all in recovery, unless of course, you're very busy-then you should meditate for an hour.

May I be blessed with a slow recovery.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If you want to stay sober, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I am exactly where I am supposed to be today.

Everything about this day, this place, this moment is perfect.

Everything about me is perfect in this moment.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I always had that long line of destruction right there in my face every time I got sober. So I couldn't stand sobriety. - Allen F.
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