sweetichick

I have come to the conclusion that I don't really want to give up. Done a few meetings and come away and still drink. I am on 3 bottles a day. I have closeted myself in the house. Death is inevitable..

JJ9

Don’t give up! You can do this! I know how hard it is but don’t let yourself give up. Life is too precious. Please please please don’t give up on getting sober. You have such a light to your life. I see it in your posts. Letting the alcohol kill you is not the right answer.

suki44883

I'm sorry, sweetichick. Perhaps it's time to try inpatient rehab? You seem to be having a really hard time doing it on your own. I don't mean that in a bad way. Many people need more direct help.

Do you truly, way deep down, want to live a sober life? That is crucial before any type of treatment will help. I hope you will seriously consider going inpatient.

Dee74

When you drink like we do/did sweetichick we get very fatalistic. Death doesn't really seem that big a deal...until you really do nearly die and then trust me every cell in your body will want to live....

I'm confident the real you doesn't want to die - you want to get well - regain your mobility and your health, claim back your life and be happy and mend broken relationships.

Don't let your addiction rob you of the opportunity to do that.

D

sweetichick

Maybe I am just on a bipolar low day. I feel so dreadful all the time I feel just like wiping myself out all the time. It's only barely working the alcohol now. Maybe I am still grieving the loss of my ex.

least

Drinking makes us depressed. It's possible to stop drinking and live a normal happy life. Maybe inpatient is a good idea. You've been trying to get sober for a while now.

Helianthus

Hey sweetichick

I'm sure that if you did a poll of sober alcoholics worldwide you would find that a very high percentage of them didn't want to give up either, but they did because they knew that there was a better life waiting for them.

Just think about how much you miss your daughter and that Christmas card we talked about, there's a reason to quit right there.

You've come so far, you really can do this.

AtomicBlue

Sweetichick, you know drinking isn't going to make anything better in the long run. Alcohol ends up betraying us all. Why not try something different? Something that could give you a chance at improving your life. I also like the inpatient idea.

sweetichick

Thanks for the replies guys . I will try to at least cut down today.

sweetichick

Why aren't the meetings working though?? They seem to work for everyone else.

least

"The meetings" don't "work". You do the work. And it's not the meetings you make, it's the steps you take.

AtomicBlue

What worked for me was getting a sponsor and working the steps. I still like going to the meetings. I think working the actual steps was/is the biggest part of AA for me.

sweetichick

I will try something different. Try to get out more. I have been closeted in my house for 8 months now. Ever since I broke up with my ex.

AtomicBlue

Sorry to hear about the break up I had to really force myself to do things I didn't want to and get out of my comfort zone. I should also mention that I went to outpatient treatment for 6 months as well. That and continued involvement in AA has been totally worth it.

sweetichick

That's what I need to get out of the comfort zone.

Dee74

do you see anyone about your bipolar sweetichick - I think it's important to maintain our mental health along with our recovery?

D

sweetichick

I can't afford inpatient because I have too many loans and no private insurance. Out patient the only thing I know of is free counseling. I will make an appointment.

AtomicBlue

It's different everywhere. However I've heard of rehab scholarships/grants too. The money I spent is being recouped just in saving money not buying booze. Plus much more. Glad you're going to make an appointment.

sweetichick

Yes I do and are medicated at night. It's supposedly well controlled. Probably because I haven't been in a psych ward for 6 years. My psychiatrist is not helpful though. I get 7 minutes with him.

sweetichick

Thanks for asking Dee