9 Years Ago
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 147
9 Years Ago
9 years ago today my then AW tried to kill herself. April 2009 I found out about her 6 month affair with my then best friend. We tried to reconcile, she tried to clean up, both failed in the end. I told her to leave on the 6th, I left the house with the kids to give her time to pack and get out. I came home to her barely clinging to life and a bottle of vodka. Two empty sleeping pill bottles lying next to her.
The paramedics came. The cops came. She recovered and went into rehab. We were separated, but I still cared if she recovered. Eventually she left rehab and lived with her mom while she worked on staying sober. We talked and she wanted to know if I still wanted to be a part of her life. I just wasn't sure. It was nice to see glimpses of the woman I married coming out again but the pain was fresh from everything.
Eventually I took her back, more for the kids than for me. I hoped love would regrow in time and the pain would decrease. It wasn't easy, so many things triggered memories of the pain; movies/songs about affairs/drinking. They way Hollywood uses these a humor sickens me to this day.
She's been sober since that day and we just celebrated our 25th anniversary in June. I still have issues and the pain is still there, just not as bad as it was before. You can't survive something like this with out old wounds that flare up from time to time. Part of me has always wondered if the pain would still be here if I told her I didn't want her back. I know I can't live my life like that, thinking about the "what if" in life.
Just wanted to poke my head in here. This site, and the people here helped me through the bulk of my pain. Many said leave her. Many said do what you think is right. For those of you going through your own pain I wish you luck in dealing with it. Come here, open up. Listen to what people have to say. Some of it will be advice you can use. Some of it you can ignore. But, listen and be open about it. Your healing is important and it starts with you being able to open up about your pain.
I wish you all luck in healing. I think I am on the right path, time will tell.
The paramedics came. The cops came. She recovered and went into rehab. We were separated, but I still cared if she recovered. Eventually she left rehab and lived with her mom while she worked on staying sober. We talked and she wanted to know if I still wanted to be a part of her life. I just wasn't sure. It was nice to see glimpses of the woman I married coming out again but the pain was fresh from everything.
Eventually I took her back, more for the kids than for me. I hoped love would regrow in time and the pain would decrease. It wasn't easy, so many things triggered memories of the pain; movies/songs about affairs/drinking. They way Hollywood uses these a humor sickens me to this day.
She's been sober since that day and we just celebrated our 25th anniversary in June. I still have issues and the pain is still there, just not as bad as it was before. You can't survive something like this with out old wounds that flare up from time to time. Part of me has always wondered if the pain would still be here if I told her I didn't want her back. I know I can't live my life like that, thinking about the "what if" in life.
Just wanted to poke my head in here. This site, and the people here helped me through the bulk of my pain. Many said leave her. Many said do what you think is right. For those of you going through your own pain I wish you luck in dealing with it. Come here, open up. Listen to what people have to say. Some of it will be advice you can use. Some of it you can ignore. But, listen and be open about it. Your healing is important and it starts with you being able to open up about your pain.
I wish you all luck in healing. I think I am on the right path, time will tell.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Thank you for the update!
I am so happy she was able to find sobriety, so many are not. Pain does not go away, but it does not have to control your life. Good for you for your very healthy outlook on this situation.
Take care!
I am so happy she was able to find sobriety, so many are not. Pain does not go away, but it does not have to control your life. Good for you for your very healthy outlook on this situation.
Take care!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
