Accord1

I was talking with a friend yesterday and I realized something. I’m 40 years old and this is the first time I’ve been sober as an adult. I went from high school to college to marriage... going through all the paces so to speak, but never really grew up. Can one be a functioning civilized part of society while being ****** up all the time? Maybe some can, and maybe I was for part of it, I would like to think, but it’s a very scary realization. Or maybe I’m overthinking it like I tend to do. Never too late I guess.

tekink

I came to that exact same realization about this time last year. I had no idea who I actually grew up into as I'd been sauced at every social occasion for 25 years.

Be123

Completely, utterly and absolutely - SNAP

Purpleman

Same with me. I finally stopped drinking at age 51 & realised that I had the coping strategies & mechanisms of a teenager. Took a long time to learn to behave like an adult

Accord1

I am relieved that I’m not the only one. So many wasted years.. but hopefully the best is yet to come.

apollo986

Interesting topic-I just had a conversation yesterday with a friend about this very thing. I hope and pray that it's not to late(138 days sober).

Accord1

Apollo I’m certainly no expert on this but I don’t think so. I’m 162 days sober and I feel and act like much more of an adult than ever before. (Most of the time) haha

D122y

Acc,

I feel like the booze didn't start to demolish me until I was in my late 30.s.

By then I was heavily addicted. I remember deploying in the military and always catching a cold....detox...about 2 weeks into the deployment. I remember the same thing when I would go a week or so without booze after that.

Education...SR and the internet....and my strong desire to do well during my workouts...got me aware of what I had done to myself.

I am way better now, but still healing. I may never full recover...but i will take what I can get from this point forward.

The freedom is amazing. I don't miss being high on booze. I get high on life now.

Last week i was at a party and i decided to imagine I was drunk like in the old days. I got up and started dancing with my wife.

It was silly, but that was how I used to act drunk. The cool thing was that i could turn it off at my whim. I don't need to be drunk to have a great time. Plus, i was able to confidently drive me and my son home, wake up hangover free, and hit the gym.

Thanks.

Hevyn

Accord - I've had those same thoughts many times, & I was quite a bit older when I got sober.

I definitely feel I didn't grow & mature the way I would have if not for drinking. I think we stunt our emotional development. I hid from difficult situations. I'm glad we don't live that way anymore.

lessgravity

Crucial information, barely even know who I am or what life is really like to live unhindered. Thank you for the post.

Accord1

Agree 100% with all the comments. Not being able to function in the morning, being able to drive your family, and blocking things out because you don’t want to deal with them amongst countless other behaviors while drinking are not what being a functioning adult is about. I had alcoholic Peter Pan syndrome for the better part of twenty years. I was too brainwashed by booze to realize it. Rant (s) over. Thank you for listening.

Buckley3

44 here. I can definitely relate, and have been thinking on the exact things a bit of late.

Absolutely we can be functioning members of society. More importantly, we can live out our lives anyway we really choose to. And I think that's - at least for me - the longer term piece of recovery. Finally getting away from the blinders booze placed on me and waking up to all the possibility around me.

I'm excited.

Best to you, 'grats on getting sober. It's the bomb.

-B

Dee74

I can relate too. I sent so many years running away from being an adult - I really like adulting now.

D

thomas11

I think you hit the nail on the head. In sobriety we typically act appropriately to a given situation.

Branches

It was quite sobering for me to count back and realize that the last time I had gone more than a two or three weeks without alcohol was when I was 18 or so. That was a good 40 years ago. And then once you're 21, the message out there is "Why not drink? You're allowed. " It's really good to have a clear head and handle life with clarity as an adult.