kamm

So I am 17 days sober and am on a beach trip with a bunch of my boyfriends friends. Everyone here is drunk or buzzed but me. I already feel like an outsider because these are his childhood friends and their wives but the not drinking to lube my social interactions is just hard.

I really want to go home but thankfully we leave tomorrow. I’ve mostly done my own thing and I’m sure I’m coming across as snobby and standoffish but that’s what I need to do right now.

His friends are huge in his life and I’m trying to be a good girlfriend but I’m not sure the sober me and this situation mix very well. I’m so tired of trying.

Anyway. This is just a rant post and a selfish one at that. I’m not going to drink but I might also go to bed at 9pm. I don’t like myself today.

kevlarsjal2

There's no reason for you to not like yourself You are doing the right thing and what is most important, you're taking care of yourself and doing your best to stay sober. 17 days is amazing! But it's also still very early on. Of course situations like this are extra challenging right now.
I don't know what your plans are for the next weeks, but maybe stay away from situations like this if they make you feel uncomfortable. I'm sure your boyfriend will understand if you won't join him the next time he hangs out with his mates.
And don't worry about how you come across. You can still show them your best side another time you will see them, when you have established a bit more sober time It happened a lot to me that people had a bad first impression of me, telling me I came across as snobbish or whatnot and later they became good friends of mine.
Also, it makes life a lot easier when we stop worrying about what others might think of us!

Going to bed early sounds like a good idea, maybe you can read a little before you sleep or post on here. Do something nice for yourself. And remember, very soon you will be back home again

fini

oh kamm, there is nothing selfish about looking after yourself; in fact, it is a responsibility. one we didn't fulfill when drinking.
and not selfish to post about this; it is what we are all here for: sharing trials, tribulations, triumphs, trudging
as long as you put your sobriety first, you have a good chance of keeping it.

from what i read in your post, you are doing well: taking care of yourself without insisting or demanding others change.
keep going.

kamm

Thanks fini and Kev. ❤️
I’m such an emotional wreck right now. I cry for no reason and then the next I am ecstatic and singing for no reason.

I have not told my boyfriend that I’m an alcoholic. He says he “used to be” and that after he stopped for a few months he had it under control and that he doesn’t think addiction needs any more treatment than that. He doesn’t drink to excess at all and I have no problem with what he does. I just know he won’t understand this journey for me and I don’t really feel comfortable or that he is my “safe place” to share and talk about.

I am so thankful for my sober time and so proud I haven’t drank this trip but I just feel so drained and tired right now. I love you guys and SR. Thanks for being a safe place.

fini

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post3836936 ("stages" of recovery)

you might find that link helpful.

Be123

Thanks kamm, and fini, just what I needed to read this morning