Fly N Buy

What are some of your biggest hurdles to sobriety - honestly?

Jim1958

Without a doubt, mental problems. Trying to deal with life by drinking. By associating with others that have alcohol problems. It is hard to step back from a lifetime of using alcohol to cope. The inability to admit to others that I had a problem. Admitting the problem to myself but not being able to change. I am working on solutions. Doing what I can, over 60 days this time.

Fly N Buy

Good Job, Jim!

aasharon90

Acceptance and honesty.

Acceptance of people, places and things
as they are meant to be. Knowing I can't
change them, they, it to my liking because
they dont have to. It's not my place to do
so.

Honesty is a huge part of my recovery
and didn't come quickly. When it did,
there was a door that opened wide enough
to experience a freedom I had not had
before and it was and still is glorious.

Continued maintenance on both of these
important steps and elements, along with
many others allows me to achieve and enjoy
the rewards and promises granted to us in
life and recovery.

Hawking22

- Dealing with life sober without a "coping mechanism"...especially when I'm extremely upset (like uncontrollable rage)
- Boredom (I find life pretty non-stimulating and unexciting. I'm trying to find hobbies to pass the time and keep myself busy but it's still kind of blah)
- Constant exposure (they hand you a wine list before the menu at restaurants, sporting events, concerts, festivals, gas stations, grocery stores, commercials, tv shows, etc)
- Envy/feeling left out (all my friends are out at bars socializing and having fun while I'm at home with my cat watching Netflix)
- My AV (thinking constantly I can control it, it's legal, no one would know, why am I doing this again?)

zoobadger

For me it's the unconscious, barely perceptible voice in the back of my whispering lies about the necessity and allure of drinking.

After so many years of daily drinking my brain is hard-wired so that drinking is akin to breathing; I wake up most days fighting off a subtle, barely conscious notion that failing to drink is spiritually harmful.

My theory is that we alcoholics form a close, spiritual bond with our drink of choice that transcends the conscious desire to drink. Fighting off the momentary cravings is one thing; breaking the intimate bond between me and the bottle is another.

I think that's where AA really comes in. Forming an emotional bond with like-minded others who truly wish to be sober can gradually eclipse the bond with liquor.

thomas11

My belief that I deserve or have earned a drink. Toughest battle I face.

RUL23

Trying to create a new social life. Can’t even go to the beach with friends or family as it will end up going to beach bar for lunch.

ScottFromWI

Being honest with myself and facing my other issues. My default was to run away and hide in a beer can.

Be123

1 My own head

2 - specifically - a nagging voice reminding me of how long ‘forever’ is and, as I’m bound to louse up at some point, why not just get smashed today?

That’s why, for me, 24 hours is the most important concept to stick doggedly to. I can not drink today so I’ll just stick to that

TheLight17

1. Strong emotions/poor coping skills 2. Social anxiety 3. AV and obsession over alcohol
(romanticizing the bottle, telling myself it's not that bad/can drink like a normal person, forever is overwhelming, etc) 4. Anhedonia

least

Boredom used to get me bad. Now that I've been sober for quite a while, I have no desire to drink for any reason. Sober is my default now so I have no roadblocks anymore.

Outonthetiles

One or two friends in particular are a problem, and it's better for me to avoid them.

Snufkin

For me the most difficult thing is trying to cope with negative feelings without numbing myself with drinks. Social anxiety, suicidal ideation and low self-esteem, trying to convince myself that drinking life is all I deserve etc. All lies.

Fly N Buy

Hear, hear.......accurate conclusion.

Dee74

wanting to change my life, but not wanting to change my life.

That was the conundrum that kept me in circles for a long time.

D

Kaytea

Ooohhh Thomas. That’s a good one. I think I’m right there with you. That part is going to take a lot of restructuring in my brain.

Branches

This is a great thread. Thank you to everyone who posted because as I was reading, I was going "Yep, me too." I'm so grateful to the SR community.

My roadblocks:

Thinking too far forward. "NEVER have another glass of wine?"
Thinking like a child: "I wasn't THAT bad. I can be good and moderate."

Fly N Buy

As a group, we have bad rememberers!
Thanks for participating
Fly