wildflower70

I can't do this again, I have dumped the booze, I want to get back on solid ground.

I can already feel my body detoxing, I'm in a cold sweat, uncomfortable in my own skin, restless, shakes.....it's only been 15 mins...

God help me

Helianthus

Good luck wildflower

To be the last time you need to put everything into it, well done on dumping the booze. You have all weekend to take care of yourself and to make a plan about how you are going to handle things after detox has ended.

Today can be the first day of the rest of your sober life.

Stay strong and don't give in!

allishope73

I m with you wildflower. I also slipt it is my second day and shaking with anxiety but i do not wish to self sabotage my life anymore. I joined sober September group maybe it will be helpful to you. As said make a plan how to maintain after detox...i found most difficult depression and anxiety . People say it will pass after couple of months or get better. Need to be very mindful in early sobriety. Just bear. I m preparing myself will be terrible days but drinking would make it worse and delay healing as the cyckle will reapeat. Brain neurons never be back to normal. Only long term abstinence is a start. In my case i really hate drinking used that to sedate stress but badly. I like sober life ... periods of sobriety were happiest days. We all have reasons we used alcohol . Write maybe your triggers . It took me a while to see the process. I learnt from each lapse. If you want some support or chat message me. So important to stay with people and talk. Dee also suggested to post before the cravings will grow. Its great idea. I did once and survived awful day sober. I noticed my mind plays tricks irrational reasoning like saying drink some beer to calm and ended many times on bender as could not stop. Anxiety guilt shame after first hours being calm intoxicated... anxiety was back ten times worse.fear of damaging body and brain and soul. Catch mind before plays that trick....
Good luck to us and everybody else x D

Dee74

I really hope you can make this time your time wildflower
we're with you

D

August252015

You can do this.

Is there anyone who can be with you right now?

Verdantia

Best thoughts of healing for you, wildflower. Detox is rough but a sober life awaits. You don't ever have to feel these horrible things again. If you start to feel really bad please seek medical help. You got this and we are here for you.

Midwest1981

you never have to go through this again! I hope you feel better soon.

Zebra1275

Consider getting medical help if things get too bad.

ScottFromWI

You can make this your last detox if you want to wildflower. God can help you but you need to help yourself too, and ask for help from others. If it gets too bad don't be afraid to see a doc or urgent care.

eyes99

You can do this!! Hydrate and sleep as much as you can. We’re with you!

Anna

You can get through this, and we're here for you.

thomas11

You can do this, you can. Do you have someone that could maybe stay with you? Be safe.

apollo986

You can!

wildflower70

Thanks guys,

It's been 8 hours since my last drink. I had to call in to work today, again. But I guess the most important thing is getting better.

I was sober from Feb 1st until July 31st, 6 months and no desire to drink. It all started when someone gave me a bottle of wine as a gift.

My plan was to give it away, so it sat in my closet, for 3-4 hours, and I caved in. I find this odd, as I was able to go to stores and resist buying it. Why couldn't I handle having it in the house?

All that I know is that I've been drinking solid for the past month, and things spiraled down ever since. I wish that I could tell people that I have a problem with alcohol. then i wouldn't receive such gifts.

This is what makes me want to move, to start over in a place where I don't know a soul. i could finally tell people that I'm an alcoholic in recovery, and this is who I am....

Fearlessat50

Hi wildflower. I a, glad to see you back. I remember your posts from a month or so ago and you went to visit your mom/family. That must have been rough! Anyway, I’ve wondered about how you are doing. You can make this your last time! I had/have the same issue as you as far as what to tell others about my recovery. When I was in therapy, we talked a lot about my story and I decided to be very private about the reasons for my sobriety. I felt guilty about this as I worried that I was not being honest with myself or others and not being truthful would cause me to fall. My therapist is also a recovered alcoholic himself and has 25 years sobriety. He supported me in my decision to remain private and he said we all have the right to choose what we want to tell others about ourselves. Not sharing what we are not comfortable telling others for various reasons is a means of self protection and preservation. It’s a matter of personal preference what folks want to share. My therapist only cares that I have at least one person to share with and that I am being accountable. My husband knows the truth. Other than that, I haven’t told a single other friend in person. As far I what I tell people, I may share different things depending on the group or individual and how well I know them. If it’s a work event and I rarely see the person, I may simply say no thanks. For people who know me well and close friends, I stopped because I wanted to get healthier, and drinking even a small amount just doesn’t make me feel good anymore. Even though the truth is much much more complex and deeper, that really is the simple truth on the surface When someone gives me a bottle of wine, which I do get a lot even from those people I told I don’t drink anymore, I just say thank you. Then I regift the bottle. If they are that clueless to give me this sort of gift when I told them I don’t drink anymore, they don’t care that much about my feelings. What’s wrong with quitting drinking for health? I’ve quit a lot of things for my health - I don’t lay in the sun, I don’t drink soda, don’t eat processed sugar or carbs, etc. Why do we feel so strange and guilty around others for giving up alcohol?

wildflower70

Thank you fearless,

Your post really helped me to put things into perspective. I have been successful in my sobriety before, without telling the world my life story.

The one thing I haven't tried is seeing a therapist for the other issues, family problems, past abuse, estrangement from my daughter.

Maybe this is the missing link that has kept me from achieving lasting sobriety. It's frustrating to go 8 months, 6 months, 3 months, only to be back to Day 1..

Fearlessat50

Wildflower, like you, I had several past relapsed. I found that therapy was my missing link. When I started going, I was lucky my insurance covered it. But I would have paid for it out of pocket. Don’t be hard on yourself. Keep searching and learning and you will keep getting stronger!

Branches

Dear Wildflower 70,
I echo everyone else's great ideas and am sending you encouragement and support. I believe you can do this. You did it before. One thing, and this is only my opinion, is you have had months of sobriety before. Let's call it you are adding to your total. If you had 180 sober days, today is day 181 and you're adding to it. As a side note, I remember a co-worker very strongly saying "thanks, but no thanks" to a Christmas gift of champagne. She was very forthright and said alcohol had not been a good thing in her family. She didn't even want it as a gift to pass on to others. It did not affect my opinion of her one bit. I was glad to have the info so I didn't give her alcohol gifts in the future, and I really respected her courage and boldness in setting her boundary. If you don't feel like sharing your story, and I support that, well, then, get it out of the house ASAP, even if it's the trash can.

wildflower70

Yes, the trash is where it belongs....

I'm fixing on throwing out everything....wine glasses, corkscrews, anything that will trigger me.

I need to get it back in my head that wine isn't good for me, not ever! My love affair with it needs to stop. Like breaking up with a mate who abuses you, it may be hard to do because there are real feelings there, but it must be done to survive.

Today, I'm breaking up with wine, it has become my abuser, it will take everything that I care about, if I let it. Goodbye Mr.Wine

Helianthus

Hey wildflower

Thanks for letting us know how you have been doing, l was thinking about you and hoping you were alright. You sound like you are in a good place right now which is great.

I had one particular glass that l used to drink wine out of and l couldn't bring myself to use it for over a month after l quit (its a tumbler, l liked spritzers), l thought l was being a bit silly at the time but we have to do what is necessary when we are vulnerable.

I think the therapist sounds like an excellent idea.

I hope today goes well, rest, be kind to yourself and come and talk to us

Big hug from me