Right back to his old ways =/
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 21
Right back to his old ways =/
After quitting rehab after only 14 days proclaiming he is brand new, changed and sober my Ex ABF has ran right back to his ex... who is always conveniently there waiting for him no matter how many times he drops her... He is back to hanging out with all of his degenerate, cheating alcoholic friends.
And after ALLL the hype and BS about seeing our child, not ONCE has he reached out to a supervising agency to schedule time to see her... In fact he claims he is broke, no money (iron worker in union) yet posts all over social media about his 900 hp racecar he is building!!
I am so grateful for this forum to be able to share my feelings and story without judgment or fear. But I do have to say I am a little sad; sad over grieving the loss of the relationship that was all just an illusion... built on empty promises, abuse, anger and hatred toward me... Sad that I wasted my twenties on this man and am now a single mom struggling because he stole everything we had (we were not married). Don't get me wrong, I am SO grateful for being OUT of the situation, for having full custody over my child who I protect and love more than anything and grateful for a new beginning … But I do yearn for a companion, a partner, someone to love me and treat me the way I would treat them; respect and love.
One day..
And after ALLL the hype and BS about seeing our child, not ONCE has he reached out to a supervising agency to schedule time to see her... In fact he claims he is broke, no money (iron worker in union) yet posts all over social media about his 900 hp racecar he is building!!
I am so grateful for this forum to be able to share my feelings and story without judgment or fear. But I do have to say I am a little sad; sad over grieving the loss of the relationship that was all just an illusion... built on empty promises, abuse, anger and hatred toward me... Sad that I wasted my twenties on this man and am now a single mom struggling because he stole everything we had (we were not married). Don't get me wrong, I am SO grateful for being OUT of the situation, for having full custody over my child who I protect and love more than anything and grateful for a new beginning … But I do yearn for a companion, a partner, someone to love me and treat me the way I would treat them; respect and love.
One day..
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
gnc…...I hope that you will stay with the forum and keep posting and sharing and helping others, also....
I hope that you will continue to read and learn and do the kind of self examination and learning about yourself that is possible at times of great change......people often make the greatest strides in time of crisis....
You are still young and have a lot of life to live....to attract the kind of person that you want to become a life partner, one has to be healthy, themselves....to have your own self actualization...…
I think self actualization is to the soul...as a strong immune system is to the body......
I hope that you will continue to read and learn and do the kind of self examination and learning about yourself that is possible at times of great change......people often make the greatest strides in time of crisis....
You are still young and have a lot of life to live....to attract the kind of person that you want to become a life partner, one has to be healthy, themselves....to have your own self actualization...…
I think self actualization is to the soul...as a strong immune system is to the body......
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,163
I am saddened to read that you are struggling.
The only thing worse than wasting your 20’s on an unavailable partner, would be to waste your 30’s.
With some concentrated effort , you can turn this around. When you are ready you can let go of the past, your 30’s are ready to embrace you and the new chapter of your life.
The only thing worse than wasting your 20’s on an unavailable partner, would be to waste your 30’s.
With some concentrated effort , you can turn this around. When you are ready you can let go of the past, your 30’s are ready to embrace you and the new chapter of your life.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 184
gnc, your feelings are very valid and it's scary to think that you're going to be alone. Statistics tell me that you will not, but right now I know it seems overwhelming. As for him going back to an ex? She puts up with his drinking and that's likely the bottom line. You have standards-be glad for that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hey gnc13,
Tough stuff, and yet further evidence that all your choices in regards to his behavior right now have been correct. Ugh how many times have I read on here that the exAH who has a hissy fit about "their kid" can't even get the basic sh*t together to actually spend time with the kid or learn how to be a proper parent. Your DD is so lucky to have you, a sober, sane parent. yes you may be struggling, but you are also protecting her and showing her a strong example of taking care of yourself and her. Kudos.
But I do yearn for a companion, a partner, someone to love me and treat me the way I would treat them; respect and love.
One day..
Just for Today you can be that person for yourself. I realized after my divorce I had to start treating myself with all the love and respect I yearned for. I had to do the work of changing and getting down to the nitty gritty of why/how I invested in such a wrong partner (not easy, and painful, but so worth it). I did this for me and my Dear Sons.
With time, it did have the added benefit of attracting and allowing into our lives the kind of person I had been dreaming about.
It all starts inside you. (((((hugs))))))
Peace,
B.
Tough stuff, and yet further evidence that all your choices in regards to his behavior right now have been correct. Ugh how many times have I read on here that the exAH who has a hissy fit about "their kid" can't even get the basic sh*t together to actually spend time with the kid or learn how to be a proper parent. Your DD is so lucky to have you, a sober, sane parent. yes you may be struggling, but you are also protecting her and showing her a strong example of taking care of yourself and her. Kudos.
But I do yearn for a companion, a partner, someone to love me and treat me the way I would treat them; respect and love.
One day..
Just for Today you can be that person for yourself. I realized after my divorce I had to start treating myself with all the love and respect I yearned for. I had to do the work of changing and getting down to the nitty gritty of why/how I invested in such a wrong partner (not easy, and painful, but so worth it). I did this for me and my Dear Sons.
With time, it did have the added benefit of attracting and allowing into our lives the kind of person I had been dreaming about.
It all starts inside you. (((((hugs))))))
Peace,
B.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Gnc,
Count your blessings that he is showing you who he is, so believe him. He is an irresponsible addict, who is no longer your headache.
I know you mourn "him" being there and being a couple, but what couple where you? He's an addict and alcohol will always come before you or your child. I wasted 3/4 of my life waiting to be respected and loved. It never happened.
Press delete on his drama and look forward. You have been going backwards for to long. Hugs!!
Count your blessings that he is showing you who he is, so believe him. He is an irresponsible addict, who is no longer your headache.
I know you mourn "him" being there and being a couple, but what couple where you? He's an addict and alcohol will always come before you or your child. I wasted 3/4 of my life waiting to be respected and loved. It never happened.
Press delete on his drama and look forward. You have been going backwards for to long. Hugs!!
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