I called the police on my drunk bf
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Join Date: May 2018
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I called the police on my drunk bf
He was gone all day drinking he came home at 12:30am so incredibly wasted I could smell the alcohol on him from the other room. I went to go sleep in the other bedroom, he came in and stood there- I asked him to leave he said no. He tried to grab me I kept telling him to leave me alone I need to get up for work early I told him I would call the police if he didn't leave. He wouldn't leave so I called them. When they arrived my "boyfriend " started yelling at them telling them they are not allowed to come in the house, I let the cops know that he was incredibly drunk. They tried to open the door and my bf tried shutting it , glass broke on the door and they arrested him saying he was interfering in an investigation. He was yelling so loud when they took him out to the car. Omg. I'm so sick to my stomach. I can't live like this with his drinking all the time. I've warned him so many times. I was hoping they would come get him so he could spend a night in jail and hopefully a wake up call that living like this is not acceptable. I hate that I feel guilty that I'm worried about him. I wish he would just move out but he refuses to. I can't believe my life has come to this. Strange thing is I woke up today with a gut feeling something bad was going to happen. When he told me he was meeting up with a friend of his that was visiting I knew what was going to happen. I even said to him I know what you are going to do- your going to go get drunk. He told me he wasn't and that I should trust him. Yeah right. Now he's in jail and I'm still sick to my stomach. I hate this so much!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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I work in prison. I just want you to know that they are going to take good care of him. He'll have a nightly count... up to 4 in a night. They'll count him in the morning and then serve him breakfast. They'll count him again after lunch. And then again after dinner and once more before 9pm bedtime. He'll have access to the phones and a kiosk. If he stays for any amount of time, he'll be eligible for programs and activities too. He's fine.
You on the other hand... you should start an exit plan. Do not believe anything but the smell of booze that comes out of his mouth. You only get one life to live.
One inmate I have at work really gets to me. Besides his crime, he's a decent inmate. He's an alcoholic who killed his wife. I can only imagine how deep into his alcoholism he was when it all took place. I wish I could say that I didn't know what that woman went through but I can't. I don't know the specifics other than what transpired in the case at the moment of the crime. But from living with a vicious drunk, I would imagine she tried to save or help him many times and it lead to her murder.
I could see my husband getting close to this with the way he would treat me. The black out drunken fights we'd have inside and outside of the home. They were physically violent. I want to tell you to please get out! Find help anywhere and everywhere you can and leave!
You on the other hand... you should start an exit plan. Do not believe anything but the smell of booze that comes out of his mouth. You only get one life to live.
One inmate I have at work really gets to me. Besides his crime, he's a decent inmate. He's an alcoholic who killed his wife. I can only imagine how deep into his alcoholism he was when it all took place. I wish I could say that I didn't know what that woman went through but I can't. I don't know the specifics other than what transpired in the case at the moment of the crime. But from living with a vicious drunk, I would imagine she tried to save or help him many times and it lead to her murder.
I could see my husband getting close to this with the way he would treat me. The black out drunken fights we'd have inside and outside of the home. They were physically violent. I want to tell you to please get out! Find help anywhere and everywhere you can and leave!
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Join Date: May 2018
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Originally Posted by BoxinRotz 
I work in prison. I just want you to know that they are going to take good care of him. He'll have a nightly count... up to 4 in a night. They'll count him in the morning and then serve him breakfast. They'll count him again after lunch. And then again after dinner and once more before 9pm bedtime. He'll have access to the phones and a kiosk. If he stays for any amount of time, he'll be eligible for programs and activities too. He's fine.
You on the other hand... you should start an exit plan. Do not believe anything but the smell of booze that comes out of his mouth. You only get one life to live.
One inmate I have at work really gets to me. Besides his crime, he's a decent inmate. He's an alcoholic who killed his wife. I can only imagine how deep into his alcoholism he was when it all took place. I wish I could say that I didn't know what that woman went through but I can't. I don't know the specifics other than what transpired in the case at the moment of the crime. But from living with a vicious drunk, I would imagine she tried to save or help him many times and it lead to her murder.
I could see my husband getting close to this with the way he would treat me. The black out drunken fights we'd have inside and outside of the home. They were physically violent. I want to tell you to please get out! Find help anywhere and everywhere you can and leave!
You on the other hand... you should start an exit plan. Do not believe anything but the smell of booze that comes out of his mouth. You only get one life to live.
One inmate I have at work really gets to me. Besides his crime, he's a decent inmate. He's an alcoholic who killed his wife. I can only imagine how deep into his alcoholism he was when it all took place. I wish I could say that I didn't know what that woman went through but I can't. I don't know the specifics other than what transpired in the case at the moment of the crime. But from living with a vicious drunk, I would imagine she tried to save or help him many times and it lead to her murder.
I could see my husband getting close to this with the way he would treat me. The black out drunken fights we'd have inside and outside of the home. They were physically violent. I want to tell you to please get out! Find help anywhere and everywhere you can and leave!
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
I told them he wasn't being abusive,
Yes he was. Yelling and grabbing you and refusing to leave your room is abuse. Blocking the door so the police cannot help you is abuse. I echo the others. Please get out before things escalate to even worse. He won't leave.
I went to go sleep in the other bedroom, he came in and stood there- I asked him to leave he said no. He tried to grab me I kept telling him to leave me alone I need to get up for work early I told him I would call the police if he didn't leave. He wouldn't leave so I called them.
Yes he was. Yelling and grabbing you and refusing to leave your room is abuse. Blocking the door so the police cannot help you is abuse. I echo the others. Please get out before things escalate to even worse. He won't leave.
I went to go sleep in the other bedroom, he came in and stood there- I asked him to leave he said no. He tried to grab me I kept telling him to leave me alone I need to get up for work early I told him I would call the police if he didn't leave. He wouldn't leave so I called them.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
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Whatever you told the police is one thing, but make no mistake, amusic, the way he was treating you before you called the police was abuse.
I hope you can lower your expectations about the effect this incident will have on his willingness to try recovery. Try to focus on doing the next right thing for you, regardless of anything he does or doesn't do.
I hope you can lower your expectations about the effect this incident will have on his willingness to try recovery. Try to focus on doing the next right thing for you, regardless of anything he does or doesn't do.
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Location: New York
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I would look into obtaining a restraining order, Amusic.
I think you have a good chance of getting one with him being in jail and acting violently.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Please protect yourself.
I think you have a good chance of getting one with him being in jail and acting violently.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Please protect yourself.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I was hoping they would come get him so he could spend a night in jail and hopefully a wake up call that living like this is not acceptable.
You are aware that he’s going to be pissed off that he had to go to jail and that he’s going to blame you. It’s not going to go how your fantasize it to go with him being remorseful and filled with sorrow claiming he’ll never do that again. This is a whole new level now.
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Join Date: May 2018
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Originally Posted by atalose
Nothing is ever going to change until you decide what direction you want this relationship to go in. Do you want to end it? Until you can answer that question truthfully and honestly with yourself nothing is going to change. The police are not going to change his behaviors, your love and being there with him and for him have not changed his behaviors so what are your expectations regarding that moving forward?
You are aware that he’s going to be pissed off that he had to go to jail and that he’s going to blame you. It’s not going to go how your fantasize it to go with him being remorseful and filled with sorrow claiming he’ll never do that again. This is a whole new level now.
You are aware that he’s going to be pissed off that he had to go to jail and that he’s going to blame you. It’s not going to go how your fantasize it to go with him being remorseful and filled with sorrow claiming he’ll never do that again. This is a whole new level now.
I agree. I know that hoping for him to change is only holding me back. I need to leave or actually I wish he would. But he won't. He thinks living like this is normal. I'm trying to find a new place asap. I know he won't change. I know I just wasted 6 years of my life dealing with this. Yes this is a whole new level. He will be pissed he already blames me for everything when all I do for him is everything. His mind is poisoned with alcohol. That's how he wants to live. I won't tolerate it anymore. Thank you for the words. If anything this is a wake up call for me to take action. It still sucks though.
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They booked him for fighting with a police officer and assault and battery on a medical personnel. apparently he cut himself somehow and when they tried to help him he fought back. They tell me he will have a court hearing sometime by Wednesday. I don't know what will happen. He doesn't have any money.
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Take care of yourself. This could get messy so make sure you protect yourself from whatever he may come at you with. He might be remorseful or angry or needy...just be careful.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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They booked him for fighting with a police officer and assault and battery on a medical personnel. apparently he cut himself somehow and when they tried to help him he fought back. They tell me he will have a court hearing sometime by Wednesday. I don't know what will happen. He doesn't have any money.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I can see that you have 2 choices here,
1. You can go bail him out and he will return to your place and he will still be pissed that you did this to him, if not today, then tomorrow, and the cycle will continue
or
2. You can go get that restraining order so that he can't return to your house. I know that you didn't file charges against him, the cops and medical personnel did, but you have that as back up, and you probably did complete a police report. (Although, whether you did or didn't file a report then, you can still do it now)
Have to agree with everyone else here, yes, he did physically abuse you. Don't ever doubt that.
He presently has 3 hots, and a cot, so I wouldn't worry about him. I would instead think about if this is how you want your life to be?
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy
PS If he has keys to your place, I would also have them changed.
1. You can go bail him out and he will return to your place and he will still be pissed that you did this to him, if not today, then tomorrow, and the cycle will continue
or
2. You can go get that restraining order so that he can't return to your house. I know that you didn't file charges against him, the cops and medical personnel did, but you have that as back up, and you probably did complete a police report. (Although, whether you did or didn't file a report then, you can still do it now)
Have to agree with everyone else here, yes, he did physically abuse you. Don't ever doubt that.
He presently has 3 hots, and a cot, so I wouldn't worry about him. I would instead think about if this is how you want your life to be?
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy
PS If he has keys to your place, I would also have them changed.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
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If he doesn't have any money, the last thing he should have done was fight a police officer.
It's not as if you put a gun to his head and forced him to get aggressive. That was totally on his own.
I have a feeling that you feel responsible for his well-being and care, but he is an adult, not a child, and should be treated as such.
It's not as if you put a gun to his head and forced him to get aggressive. That was totally on his own.
I have a feeling that you feel responsible for his well-being and care, but he is an adult, not a child, and should be treated as such.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Hon,
This is your chance to get him out. I agree with everyone else, he is going to be a hot mess, you caused this and you are going to pay for it. I would immediately get a order of protection. I would fear him completely. I don't think that the police would question it at all. I also would ask that you could get some more police protection around your home when he gets out.
The lease is in your name and you can stay there. Please don't underestimate what an angry alcoholic will do. They do not remember half the stuff they do drunk anyway. Look at Boxin Rotz said, this drunk doesn't even remember killing his wife.
Be aware at all times of where you are. Do not question yourself if you feel uncomfortable, just call the police. Do you have a friend that can stay with your or a dog that would bark if they heard anything. Please protect yourself at home, work or at the grocery store.
My addict use to get drunk and harass me at night. He would unlock my bedroom door and start a fight. I would get clothes on in the middle of the night and just leave. I spent a dozen nights in my car, summer and winter in the hospital parking lot, just to get away from the drunk. Really not a fun way to live.... ugh!!
Sending prayers that you are safe!!
This is your chance to get him out. I agree with everyone else, he is going to be a hot mess, you caused this and you are going to pay for it. I would immediately get a order of protection. I would fear him completely. I don't think that the police would question it at all. I also would ask that you could get some more police protection around your home when he gets out.
The lease is in your name and you can stay there. Please don't underestimate what an angry alcoholic will do. They do not remember half the stuff they do drunk anyway. Look at Boxin Rotz said, this drunk doesn't even remember killing his wife.
Be aware at all times of where you are. Do not question yourself if you feel uncomfortable, just call the police. Do you have a friend that can stay with your or a dog that would bark if they heard anything. Please protect yourself at home, work or at the grocery store.
My addict use to get drunk and harass me at night. He would unlock my bedroom door and start a fight. I would get clothes on in the middle of the night and just leave. I spent a dozen nights in my car, summer and winter in the hospital parking lot, just to get away from the drunk. Really not a fun way to live.... ugh!!
Sending prayers that you are safe!!
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Join Date: May 2018
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Thank you. I'm not going to bail him out. The way I see it I've already paid the price. I'm sick to my gut over this and hate that I still care for his wellbeing when he has never cared for mine. Addiction is the most sickest disease. And being addicted to an addict is as well.
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Originally Posted by michsm
I agree with others, get a restraining order and end it. He physically and emotionally abused you, that is NOT ok. This is your window of opportunity, use it to your advantage.
Michism is right, this is your opportunity. Abuse is insidious. You might think he wasn't being abusive but that's because you are used to living like this. Like the frog in the simmering pot, it's hard to tell how bad it really is until it's too late.
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