Introduction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,278
Introduction
New to the group
Hi everyone
Been a lurker on this site for over 2 yrs, finally got the courage to share and join. Thank you Anna, for helping me with the logging in probs.
Long story short . I have been drinking for forever. 56 yrs old, married to great husband, have 2 wonderful kiddo's. Since last year I have progressed to day drinking - managing 2 bottles of wine throughout the day, every day.
My problem is , how to get to day 1. I cannot get medical help because we live in a small town and all the doctors are our personal friends. My husband is a professional and I cannot let my "little secret" out ( haha who am I fooling ? I'm sure only I think it is a secret)
I am scared - so so scared - how do I take this first step ? What if I have a seizure or worse? I know the group does not give any medical advice, but do you think I should try tapering , with beer, or just not drink ( don't know if I even can?) and see what happens?
Hi everyone
Been a lurker on this site for over 2 yrs, finally got the courage to share and join. Thank you Anna, for helping me with the logging in probs.
Long story short . I have been drinking for forever. 56 yrs old, married to great husband, have 2 wonderful kiddo's. Since last year I have progressed to day drinking - managing 2 bottles of wine throughout the day, every day.
My problem is , how to get to day 1. I cannot get medical help because we live in a small town and all the doctors are our personal friends. My husband is a professional and I cannot let my "little secret" out ( haha who am I fooling ? I'm sure only I think it is a secret)
I am scared - so so scared - how do I take this first step ? What if I have a seizure or worse? I know the group does not give any medical advice, but do you think I should try tapering , with beer, or just not drink ( don't know if I even can?) and see what happens?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
I spoke to your post in another thread Ayers.
I always push seeing a medical professional as the safest way forward.
I can't make you do that, and I won;t hold it against you if you don't
...but I believe it's the best choice out of all the options.
I wish I'd seen someone.
D
I always push seeing a medical professional as the safest way forward.
I can't make you do that, and I won;t hold it against you if you don't
...but I believe it's the best choice out of all the options.I wish I'd seen someone.
D
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,280
Hello Ayers, welcome to SR.
Personal friends or not I'm pretty certain that part of a doctor's oath is keeping patient confidentiality. They would be able to treat you as a friend and a doctor and advise you the best way forward for your individual circumstance and possibly prescribe medication to help with any withdrawals you might experience..
As you say, you're 'secret' might be out already.
If you really aren't comfortable with that is there anywhere further afield you can go to?
Fear is understandable but it sounds like you're ready for this and you just have to take that initial step.
Good luck.
John
Personal friends or not I'm pretty certain that part of a doctor's oath is keeping patient confidentiality. They would be able to treat you as a friend and a doctor and advise you the best way forward for your individual circumstance and possibly prescribe medication to help with any withdrawals you might experience..
As you say, you're 'secret' might be out already.
If you really aren't comfortable with that is there anywhere further afield you can go to?
Fear is understandable but it sounds like you're ready for this and you just have to take that initial step.
Good luck.
John
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 316
Ayers,
Is your husband aware of your "little secret"? Is there any way you could talk to him about wanting to not drink and your wanting to detox in a safe manner? Like maybe a two week stay at a detox place that's not in your immediate area?
Do you have a doctor that you go to when you have the flu or want a physical? Make an appointment for a physical or migraines (hangovers) and then when you have the doctor alone, tell him or her what the scoop is.
Look, doctors have to keep their mouths shut or they can be sued for breaching confidentiality. I know it's embarrassing as heck to say to a doctor, "I drink too much," but you won't be the only person that has ever said those words to them.
In the meantime, is there any way you can NOT open that second bottle today? Or if you do, not finish it? I am not advising you to drink, but if you're scared to stop drinking totally and you can't see a doctor right away, IMHO drinking less than your usual could be a temporary and only temporary stopgap until you see a doctor. Again, this is not medical advice. Stopping totally is what will get you your life back. Best of luck to you. Hope to see you back here.
Is your husband aware of your "little secret"? Is there any way you could talk to him about wanting to not drink and your wanting to detox in a safe manner? Like maybe a two week stay at a detox place that's not in your immediate area?
Do you have a doctor that you go to when you have the flu or want a physical? Make an appointment for a physical or migraines (hangovers) and then when you have the doctor alone, tell him or her what the scoop is.
Look, doctors have to keep their mouths shut or they can be sued for breaching confidentiality. I know it's embarrassing as heck to say to a doctor, "I drink too much," but you won't be the only person that has ever said those words to them.
In the meantime, is there any way you can NOT open that second bottle today? Or if you do, not finish it? I am not advising you to drink, but if you're scared to stop drinking totally and you can't see a doctor right away, IMHO drinking less than your usual could be a temporary and only temporary stopgap until you see a doctor. Again, this is not medical advice. Stopping totally is what will get you your life back. Best of luck to you. Hope to see you back here.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,753
Welcome! It's awkward to go to a doctor who is also a friend, but you can explain to them how afraid you are that they'll talk about you. That would remind them about your medical privacy.
Home detox can be done with a short course of (usually) benzoes to relieve the anxiety of withdrawal and reduce the risk of seizures.
I hope you'll take the plunge and stop drinking. Sober life is worth the effort.
It's awkward to go to a doctor who is also a friend, but you can explain to them how afraid you are that they'll talk about you. That would remind them about your medical privacy. Home detox can be done with a short course of (usually) benzoes to relieve the anxiety of withdrawal and reduce the risk of seizures.
I hope you'll take the plunge and stop drinking. Sober life is worth the effort.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Hello Ayers.
Glad you joined up.
Some good advice above.
The number one priority is getting sober but effectively if you are at 2 bottles of wine a day since last year you risk some withdrawal symptoms (knowing that everyone is different)
So imo a doctors visit is the way forward.
Have you ever stopped cold turkey before even for a short period of time...?
And also imo alcoholic and tapering are two words which are incompatible in the same sentence.
So take action now whatever it may be.
Glad you joined up.
Some good advice above.
The number one priority is getting sober but effectively if you are at 2 bottles of wine a day since last year you risk some withdrawal symptoms (knowing that everyone is different)
So imo a doctors visit is the way forward.
Have you ever stopped cold turkey before even for a short period of time...?
And also imo alcoholic and tapering are two words which are incompatible in the same sentence.
So take action now whatever it may be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,278
Hi all.
Thanx John, Sugarbear,Least for your replies
Branches , yes my husband is aware , but under the impression that I am trying to drink less. The reason I don't want to share with him that I want to stop altogether, is the fear of constant scrutiny ; and waiting for me to fail. I do know that if I asked him to send me to a detox centre - he won't hesitate at all - but he will be shocked to learn that my problem is much bigger than he thought.I'd much rather prefer to just share here on SR.
Vman , no I have never gone cold turkey .
Maybe I should see a doctor in another town.
Thanx for being here for me xx
Thanx John, Sugarbear,Least for your replies
Branches , yes my husband is aware , but under the impression that I am trying to drink less. The reason I don't want to share with him that I want to stop altogether, is the fear of constant scrutiny ; and waiting for me to fail. I do know that if I asked him to send me to a detox centre - he won't hesitate at all - but he will be shocked to learn that my problem is much bigger than he thought.I'd much rather prefer to just share here on SR.
Vman , no I have never gone cold turkey .
Maybe I should see a doctor in another town.
Thanx for being here for me xx
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