Mango212

I've been feeling a lot of pain, anger and loneliness. Letting go of toxic relationships with people who have narcissistic behaviors also has meant not engaging with many others in my life who I love. I need people who support me right now, and God keeps bringing many of them in different ways. This is war for my physical, mental, energetic & emotional life. It's won by acknowledging my pain, choosing healthy actions one day at a time and keeping my inner compass pointed in this new direction of enjoying life, healing and being the best parent I can be for DS11.

Today after open heart meditations, some quiet time and then physical clearing out of cupboards, I had music on and lots of tears.

A big storm came by yesterday and my emotions have followed.

The kayak had been taken across the pond by the storm and I took puppy with me to retrieve it. She's 10 months old and besides a few baths had mostly just gotten her front feet in the water. Today she played in the shoreline water, jumping in leaps and bounds, loaded on and off the kayak many times and swam in deeper areas. She is so strong, playful and curious! It's infectious.

It's the coldest day we've had in a long time. It's also the most deep feeling fun I've had in several weeks. Ebb and flow. Layers of healing and I've moved through another very important one.

Puppy and I are inside, warming up and drying off. Life is good.

Maudcat

It’s a mighty sad day when a pup can’t cheer us up.
Great that you have her, and I gope you feel better soon.
Tears can be very cleansing.

hopeful4

Love this!

Wamama48

That sounds relaxing and calming. Like a story from a child's book.

Seren

Lovely, Mango, thank you!!

Mango212

Took a bigger kayak out today. Kid took the other one. Puppy jumped on and off my kayak as I brought it near shore. And another storm blew in. Rain. Quietness. Peace.

Having a day where my job, my healing and adventuring are coming together in really great ways.

#livinginthemoment #thankyougod

Mango212

This is war for my physical, mental, energetic & emotional life. It's won by acknowledging my pain, choosing healthy actions one day at a time

14 days of my summer job left. Jumping far outside my comfort zone in exploring possibilities for this fall. My seasonal job includes housing. Praying, meditating, allowing new views of these opportunities in front of me.

Scared. Trusting. Allowing pain to be felt, flow through and be transformed. Finding joy between panic attacks. Finding moments of fun throughout each day.

Yesterday, having fun opened me up to facing some big fears (c-ptsd therapy). Getting through the other side made way for more fun, even as my physical reactions to the fears were still in play. Hitting on big stuff and getting carried through it. Trusting the process.