OT - Passive agressive spouse
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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OT - Passive agressive spouse
I found this article to be an uncanny description of AH behavior. Curious if others have had this experience?
https://divorcedmoms.com/passive-agg...big-price-tag/
https://divorcedmoms.com/passive-agg...big-price-tag/
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Join Date: Apr 2018
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Passive aggressive behavior seems to be a common part of this family disease of alcoholism. These behaviors can take many forms.
Those individuals who have been addicted to alcohol or drugs often rely on passive-aggression behaviors. This may be because they are too focused on hiding their addiction to risk being openly aggressive in order to get their way they need to resort to manipulation and underhand strategies. Addiction also prevents people from developing mature ways of dealing with anger that would do away with the need of passive-aggression. When these people become sober, they may continue to resort to these maladaptive ways of expressing their ire. In order to achieve emotional sobriety, the individual will need to learn new ways of managing their life. They will want to replace passive-aggression with assertiveness.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior Defined
Passive-aggressive behavior occurs when people deliberately mask their expressions of anger. They may be smiling on the outside, but inside they are seething with rage and plotting their revenge. The aim of the individual who is passive-aggressive is to punish other people without being viewed as an aggressor. They are able to achieve this by resorting to a number of different passive-aggressive behaviors.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior Defined
Passive-aggressive behavior occurs when people deliberately mask their expressions of anger. They may be smiling on the outside, but inside they are seething with rage and plotting their revenge. The aim of the individual who is passive-aggressive is to punish other people without being viewed as an aggressor. They are able to achieve this by resorting to a number of different passive-aggressive behaviors.
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LOL....I have said that my mother was the poster child for passive aggressive behavior.....and, she was a tee-toddler.....
I got to watch her apply her art with my step-father for many years....and--here is the kicker...he was pretty good at the game, himself...
True story.....my mother was old-school, and waited on her husband, hand and foot....which he loved. One time there was some discontent on his part...I don't know what...and, neither did mom. He wouldn't tell her! Bit--what he did was this---through out the house, for about a week--he would leave notes about the house, for her....."I will not be eating dinner, tonight"....."I will not be eating breakfast in the morning"...…"I don't need you to pack my lunch, tomorrow"...etc....
It drove my mother krazy!
Another true story....My mother made an elaborate breakfast, for my step-father at 5 AM, every morning of their marriage...as complete as a 5 star restaurant...lol....
When she was angry at him....everyone could tell by the way she slammed...SLAMMED….the pots and pans onto the metal burners, on the stove. The sounds would go throughout the whole house....and, then, there was the predictable ritual of him asking her, repeatedly, what she was angry about...and she would deny that she was angry about anything....She seemed to get a perverse pleasure out of having him beg and coax it out of her...sometimes for days....
It was a perfect punishment for him....for whatever he had done t o make her angry.....
I cannot really remember those two ever having a standard, out loud, verbal argument.....
I have heard it said that if a passive aggressive person is really good, at it....you never know that you have been had until you feel the knife in your back....
I got to watch her apply her art with my step-father for many years....and--here is the kicker...he was pretty good at the game, himself...
True story.....my mother was old-school, and waited on her husband, hand and foot....which he loved. One time there was some discontent on his part...I don't know what...and, neither did mom. He wouldn't tell her! Bit--what he did was this---through out the house, for about a week--he would leave notes about the house, for her....."I will not be eating dinner, tonight"....."I will not be eating breakfast in the morning"...…"I don't need you to pack my lunch, tomorrow"...etc....
It drove my mother krazy!
Another true story....My mother made an elaborate breakfast, for my step-father at 5 AM, every morning of their marriage...as complete as a 5 star restaurant...lol....
When she was angry at him....everyone could tell by the way she slammed...SLAMMED….the pots and pans onto the metal burners, on the stove. The sounds would go throughout the whole house....and, then, there was the predictable ritual of him asking her, repeatedly, what she was angry about...and she would deny that she was angry about anything....She seemed to get a perverse pleasure out of having him beg and coax it out of her...sometimes for days....
It was a perfect punishment for him....for whatever he had done t o make her angry.....
I cannot really remember those two ever having a standard, out loud, verbal argument.....
I have heard it said that if a passive aggressive person is really good, at it....you never know that you have been had until you feel the knife in your back....
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