Fearlessat50

Today was not a good day. Lots of family stress. My son was a mess. Two bad incidents. My last year and a half of sobriety was not as difficult as it could have been because around my last day 1, my son also had his last severe melt down. Well, he’s changing and growing and becoming a bit difficult again. Nothing triggers me more than this kid. I’ve been through a lot in life. Lost lots of family members including two to suicide, job loss, job stress, relationship drama, financial loss, etc. But none of these experiences have led me to making the choice to drink myself into oblivion. I don’t know why the stress of having a difficult child makes me feel this way. I know I have a codependency problem. I know much of this stems from my childhood. I am projecting my anxiety from the past -losing two siblings to suicide onto my child. It unfair to him. It’s unfair to me. I have to remember even though my son has some issues, he is not either of my siblings. And I am giving him so much more support than either of my parents gave me or my siblings growing up. And I am being such a better mom to him by staying sober. And I have our resource team and know what to do in a crisis and even though I can’t control him, I know where to turn to for support for me and him both. And I am never going to drink again no matter what. It would just make everything worse. I know this moment will pass and tomorrow is a new day. Thank you so much for listening to me venting. I feel better already.

least

I'm sorry today was rough. But good for you for staying sober, despite the stresses. Vent all you like, we're here to listen.

Delilah1

So glad you came here to vent, sometimes just writing out how I'm feeling helps. I'm glad you have so many resources in place for him, and for you!

Dee74

I'm glad you came here fearless
Hope tomorrow is easier

D

Maudcat

Nothing can do it to us like our kids.
Hang in there. Hope things lighten up .

gypsytears

Venting is certainly preferable to drinking.

Fearlessat50

Thank you! It really feels great to handle problems sober. Two years ago I would have downed a bottle, started an argument with my husband, passed out then he would have to deal with our son alone and I would have been so hung over and miserable today. As an alcoholic, I realize how impatient I used to be always seeking instant gratification and relief in alcohol. Last night, I waited for things to settle, my husband and I both talked to our son together calmly as a united front. Things were so much better after that ��. Happy almost Friday!

thomas11

The complexities of your situation are far above my pay grade, just know that I support you in your sobriety each and every day.

entropy1964

I relate very much to your post. And kuddos to you for handling the situation so brilliantly.

I have an easy kid and she can be a trigger. Its really all on me and I know this. I guess what I'm saying is I relate to the codie issues and the projection stuff. I do that big time and its so unfair to her. Very deeply engrained **** that is super hard to unravel. I have realized that I try to be the Mom I never had...put all this pressure on myself and actually cause more problems than I solve. Ugh.

Free2bme888

(((((((Fearless))))))))

Anna

Being a Mom is the hardest job ever.

I'm glad you got through the day and remained calm and sober.

DeeLiz

You are a great mom. You’re doing so much by providing your child with support that he needs. Staying sober is hard enough, I can only tell you that you’re son will see it one Day, and all your joy that you have lost will return. I am sorry for your loss, I think you are doing exceptional considering all thet you have on your plate. Thank you for sharing. Know, that we are here for you.