Five years sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Five years sober
Here’s one straight out of the “Holy Buckets, Time Goes Fast” Department: Today, I have five years of sobriety.
It’s pretty amazing. My life today has evolved to a place I never knew could be possible.
It has not been easy. This is the measured tone that my anniversary posts have taken before; both my parents died since I got sober (2014 and 2016). I thought our family was done with loss.
We weren’t. Earlier this year, my beloved nephew died. I would say he was like a son to me, but he already had parents (and a sibling I love equally) for whom the devastation is multifold. That said, when you don’t have children of your own, being an aunt is the closest thing to parenthood. He meant the world to me. The world. I know what it’s like to scream into a pillow until my vocal chords hurt, to feel like every moment is a nightmare from which I cannot awaken.
Half of my small family has died in less than five years.
Inversion
There have been quite a few times on SR when my response to fellow journeyers has been “the only thing alcohol does reliably well is make everything worse.”
Now, I think of it as an inversion: Sobriety reliably makes life livable, event at its most painful moments.
I think of that a lot, especially lately as my world starts to rotate on a steadier axis. Sobriety enables me to give love and support to my brother and his family and in their grief. In my own grief, it allows me to absorb the support of friends and family. Sobriety has helped me make great progress with a valued therapist, before and after.
Sobriety lets me see I can get back to a life that had become particularly fulfilling in the last year ... because, you guessed it, I am sober. I made a dream come true, flying to Australia, using an air pass and renting cars to drive to some extraordinary, and fairly remote, parts of the country. I created a website devoted to an environmental issue about which I’m passionate; building upon it is really rewarding. I oversaw renovation of my living room, a task indeed!
Live
Sobriety is normal for me now, though I take nothing for granted. I think the world of SR (and Dee!), but have found this is not an easy place for me to be since our loss. Perhaps I can contribute again in the future. I do have daily contact with sober friends, people I met here, and we help each other stay on the right road. Though I’m very private about religion, I do find comfort in prayer.
To those who are new, to those who are struggling, know you can do this.
Live in the solution.
It’s pretty amazing. My life today has evolved to a place I never knew could be possible.
It has not been easy. This is the measured tone that my anniversary posts have taken before; both my parents died since I got sober (2014 and 2016). I thought our family was done with loss.
We weren’t. Earlier this year, my beloved nephew died. I would say he was like a son to me, but he already had parents (and a sibling I love equally) for whom the devastation is multifold. That said, when you don’t have children of your own, being an aunt is the closest thing to parenthood. He meant the world to me. The world. I know what it’s like to scream into a pillow until my vocal chords hurt, to feel like every moment is a nightmare from which I cannot awaken.
Half of my small family has died in less than five years.
Inversion
There have been quite a few times on SR when my response to fellow journeyers has been “the only thing alcohol does reliably well is make everything worse.”
Now, I think of it as an inversion: Sobriety reliably makes life livable, event at its most painful moments.
I think of that a lot, especially lately as my world starts to rotate on a steadier axis. Sobriety enables me to give love and support to my brother and his family and in their grief. In my own grief, it allows me to absorb the support of friends and family. Sobriety has helped me make great progress with a valued therapist, before and after.
Sobriety lets me see I can get back to a life that had become particularly fulfilling in the last year ... because, you guessed it, I am sober. I made a dream come true, flying to Australia, using an air pass and renting cars to drive to some extraordinary, and fairly remote, parts of the country. I created a website devoted to an environmental issue about which I’m passionate; building upon it is really rewarding. I oversaw renovation of my living room, a task indeed!
Live
Sobriety is normal for me now, though I take nothing for granted. I think the world of SR (and Dee!), but have found this is not an easy place for me to be since our loss. Perhaps I can contribute again in the future. I do have daily contact with sober friends, people I met here, and we help each other stay on the right road. Though I’m very private about religion, I do find comfort in prayer.
To those who are new, to those who are struggling, know you can do this.
Live in the solution.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
Posts: 1,736
So happy for you, friend. I came here tonight to post about the 4 years I have today (always forget our anniversary is the same). You took the words out of my mouth regarding sobriety. I'm so very sorry for your losses but so thankful you have (& continue) to grieve them sober.
Much love to you today & always.
Much love to you today & always.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Originally Posted by HeartsAfire 
So happy for you, friend. I came here tonight to post about the 4 years I have today (always forget our anniversary is the same). You took the words out of my mouth regarding sobriety. I'm so very sorry for your losses but so thankful you have (& continue) to grieve them sober.
Much love to you today & always.
Much love to you today & always.
Life is so much better! Love to you, too, friend.
BTW, I think we might be "old-timers" now.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Congratulations on 5 amazing years Venecia. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to have used your very real grief as an excuse togo back to drinking. That you did not but instead continued to make a positive contribution to other people's welfare says such a lot for you. You are an inspiration.
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