I have an Alcoholics-anonymous Ex-girlfriend :)

Old 11-11-2004, 07:44 PM
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I have an Alcoholics-anonymous Ex-girlfriend :)

Hello Everyone, My ex-girlfriend Becky is a cross-addicted alcoholic she has been staying sober lately and has been struggling very hard to do so. Her alcoholism runs deep, she's bi-polar/manic depressive and i was in a relationship with her (by my opinion) 6 months (by her opinion) 3 months. And so i've been trying to help her get through her addictions but most of all her alcoholism which is probably the strongest of them all. I really love her to death even though we're ex's . Right now she is going to be travelling to Brighton rehabilitation and she hopes that it will help her alcoholism.

And i told her that "If you believe in the rehabilitation and if you believe in AA and if you believe in the system and the blue book then you will get through all this" and that i believe in her and that she can do it. I personally believe people like this need alot of support in order to get through such hard times, it is not just a walk in the park, because i myself am disabled in many ways. I am epileptic with partial complex seizures and some grand mals, i've had them since birth but didn't know about them until i was 8 months old which was when i had my first seizure. And i have depression and anxiety disorder. And at the age of 21 i was diagnosed with a social disability and a form of autism called aspergers syndrome, people call us "aspies" in short it's a positive nick name for us.

I like to talk to my aspie friends on the discussion boards. We generally have either no friends to very few friends and so we feel socially isolated to the autistic society, but anyways that's my world. So i want to be able to help my ex-girlfriend so that she can get rid of her alcoholism and her smoking problems. I'm not doing this out of pity or spite or self-centeredism i'm doing it because i love her very much and i'm very concerned about her health . So does anyone have any advice of where i can start so that i can level out with her on an even keel? Because i really want to be able to work with her so that she'll want to work with the program more. I hope to hear from you soon,good luck in all you do.


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Old 11-11-2004, 08:54 PM
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Hi Greg. Welcome to SR!

What is an 'aspie' that you wrote about? I've never heard of it, although I do know a tiny bit about autism.

A good, close friend of mine is bipolar and recovering alcoholic, sober 9 months this year! She did educate me that not all alcoholics have diagnosed mental illness, but most people with mental illness are alcoholics.

Again welcome to SR. Keep posting!
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Old 11-12-2004, 08:11 PM
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Smile

Hello CrazyRed, An aspie is somebody who is autistic with aspergers syndrome and they're usually gifted in many different ways. And it is someone who has all the common symptoms of AS and is under the PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) umbrella. I myself am defined as AS/PDD but primarily aspergers . My talents are i am a musician,artist,poet,historian,hardcore gamer and i get online and go into chat. I'm very good with computers and technical stuff, people with AS are (65-75% of the time) professionals in the technological field. I paint abstract landscapes and some contemporary art, i'm currently painting a picture of a waiting room like at a doctors office.

It's my second attempt to try to paint people, i've never really been very good at painting people (in my opinion). I play alot of instruments by ear and memorize patterns and chords: piano,electric or acoustic guitar, hammered dulcimer, bowed psaltery, hog nosed psaltery, kalimba, and harmonica. Anything i pick up i'm able to play, i recently had a jazzy dream . Alot of the famous people in history were diagnosed post-mortem as having AS and even Bill Gates of Microsoft has it. Examples are: Beethoven,Albert Einstein,Pablo Picasso,Edgar Allen Poe just to name a few,as you can see i have a fascination with the diagnosis just as anyone would with their own disability. I've spent hours studying it and talking to my aspie friends on the discussion boards, and reading books on AS and long term relationships which has a method for interconnecting an AS/NT (neurotypical=normal) couple by "aspergating" the NT partner.

To aspergate someone means that they would carry alot of the common positive AS traits that I have in order to help me and my spouse communicate better and more effectively. But while they're aspergated they cannot talk to their NT partners because there is that communication barrier. I think that roughs up a summary of my dreams and ambitions. I want an aspergated girlfriend or wife some day so that i can communicate more effectively with them. I hope to hear from you soon,good luck in all you do. Read books by, Liane holliday willey, Tony Attwood, Lorna Wing or Ashley Stanford if interested.


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Old 11-12-2004, 08:24 PM
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Smile so in summary

Hello again, So merely to say, AS is a social disability and a form of autism, shortly put. It is not a mental disability or disease or whatever. I find autism to be quite the gift actually. I've made many a mandated mark in my lifetime, most of which have gone unnoticed by many. But i must say that i'll always enjoy my AS friends and the disabled societies i live in. Nothing has brought me more happiness than knowing that i have friends on the same psychological level that i am when at first i thought i didn't have any. To name a few things we experience commonly in AS is sensory overload which is caused by too much noise,stress or temperature, usually we end up disoriented and confused and a quiet room would help make it go away. Auditory sensitivity is another one that is caused by too much noise like having the tv or radio turned up too loud, we have this constant thrumming sound in our ears and once again a quiet room would help make it go away.

Faceblindness which is the inability to see other peoples faces while talking to them aka prosopagnosia=faceblindness. And then there's mindblindness which is the inability to see others as having their own state of mind.HFA: high functioning autism though not all experts agree that it is in line with AS . I for one personally see myself as High functioning autistic/AS/PDD, but i'm sure the experts might disagree with me, do you see what i mean? Because the experts might say that you can't be high functioning and PDD at the same time. OCD (this is my favorite aspect ) obsessive compulsive disorder, people with obsessive compulsive disorder usually are perfectionists and usually are never pleased with the end results.

People with OCD also have obsessive compulsive interests, my OCD interests are video games, internet and comic books. I collect and read comic books, so i have tons of them to catch up on. We also worry about things like "are all the lights off? are the doors locked? etc." In the previous post that was my definition of aspie but here is the books definition from ashley stanford. Aspie: Friendly term used to identify a person with aspergers syndrome. Aspie identifies a personality type rather than a disorder, similar to "artist" or "intellectual." I like that definition as i feel it fits us, so those are just a few of the hundreds of aspects of the diagnosis. Those are the common aspects we experience. I love my obsessive compulsive interests i can tell you that much . Anyways i'll let you go, i hope to hear from you soon,good luck in all you do.


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Old 11-14-2004, 07:22 PM
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Hi Prophet,

Welcome to SR....Grand group here. Lots of love and shoulders for your support.

The first thing that you need to do in order to help your ex, is to start going to alanon meetings. You don't need to get caught up in her disease. You've got enough going on at the present time.

You'll get an education on addiction, how to live with it if that's the case and how to support them in times of recovery and slips.

So, basically, there is nothing you can do for her. It's all up to her. You can support her, but you can't force her to maintain her sobriety. Lend an ear, a shoulder and a hand. Doesn't sound like a lot, but that's the way it goes.

Blessings, gelfling
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Old 11-18-2004, 07:22 PM
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Thanks Gelfing, I'm learning to come to that realization all the more, even though i will admit i've told her to read the blue book and she tells me she has it by her bedside. I forgot to mention to you guys i'm not just autistic, but i am also epileptic with partial complex seizures and some grand mals, i'm on anti-convulsant medicine to stop them. So therefore i can't drive unless someone can drive me to a meeting :/. Otherwise i will stick with the discussion boards as avidly as possible. I've had my epilepsy since birth and didn't know about it until i was 8 months old which was when i had my first seizure. I also have depression/anxiety disorder and am on anti-depressants for that as well. So i'm a very medically diagnosed aspie . I have other male medical issues which seem to be popping up left and right but i'll leave that on the side. So i have my share of problems, stately put. I will do what i can to support her, it's hard to just be supportive because i always wish for her to do the right thing you know what i mean? I found a cool song on one of my video games, the video game was 1080 Avalanche and the band was Seether and the song is called "Fine Again." I thought it was a great song related to my ex's drinking problem that i played it for her over my cell phone and put the cell up to the tv and she told me she was calling out my name probably 20 times,lmao. I love her so much, i hope to hear from you soon,good luck in all you do.


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Old 11-18-2004, 07:26 PM
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Red face what my ex thought of the song

Hello Again, My Ex-girlfriend Becky thought the song was ok. But she really wanted to talk to my dad and so i just handed the phone over to my dad and things turned out ok. I have to take my meds, i hope to hear from you soon,good luck in all you do.

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Old 11-18-2004, 07:46 PM
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Hi Greg,

I've never attending, but this site has online meetings several times a week. You might want to check it out.

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