speaking of the value of crying, Al-Anon meetings, etc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 194
speaking of the value of crying, Al-Anon meetings, etc.
I went to this meeting last night. It had more people than the other meeting at noon, different setup, people facing each other around a table. Many of us were new. This meeting has newcomers speak by going around the table (the regulars also spoke ). No topic, just whatever you'd like to share.
One new person was dealing with some bad medical issues with their adult child being in ICU (due to alcohol), and it broke my heart. When it was my turn, I was a mess and blurted out some of what happened over the last two months. I told them my AH is done with nightly rehab, and we will again be around each other more. I told them my AH has liver issue (fatty liver disease), swollen ankles, on medicine for cravings. Said there's been clearly some denial by me, lots of hidden drinking on his part (as I'd suspected more and more). Lots of worry about whether he can or will want to remain sober.
Anyway, I finished my share, and just had the most public, silent, ugly cry as the lady next to me began her share. Like where you try to hold tears back but your lips and face are quivering from the release you feel when you've shared awful, emotional stuff with total strangers. Several ppl there cried that night, and they were new, or fairly new, and were OPEN with their feelings. They were able to cry hard about losing siblings and FOO issues. Their kindness overwhelmed me. One member gave me the best hug I've had since AH's alcoholism was brought out in the open two months ago. The kindness and warmth of how they ran that meeting...incredible. Thinking of it today I have had tears several times. To sum it up, even if crying feels awful, it serves a purpose and if you're with people who just let you do it, support you doing it, keep talking to them. Love and support from total strangers.
One new person was dealing with some bad medical issues with their adult child being in ICU (due to alcohol), and it broke my heart. When it was my turn, I was a mess and blurted out some of what happened over the last two months. I told them my AH is done with nightly rehab, and we will again be around each other more. I told them my AH has liver issue (fatty liver disease), swollen ankles, on medicine for cravings. Said there's been clearly some denial by me, lots of hidden drinking on his part (as I'd suspected more and more). Lots of worry about whether he can or will want to remain sober.
Anyway, I finished my share, and just had the most public, silent, ugly cry as the lady next to me began her share. Like where you try to hold tears back but your lips and face are quivering from the release you feel when you've shared awful, emotional stuff with total strangers. Several ppl there cried that night, and they were new, or fairly new, and were OPEN with their feelings. They were able to cry hard about losing siblings and FOO issues. Their kindness overwhelmed me. One member gave me the best hug I've had since AH's alcoholism was brought out in the open two months ago. The kindness and warmth of how they ran that meeting...incredible. Thinking of it today I have had tears several times. To sum it up, even if crying feels awful, it serves a purpose and if you're with people who just let you do it, support you doing it, keep talking to them. Love and support from total strangers.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
clarity888-
Wow what an experience, it really impacted you.
I had a similar experience my first time opening my mouth at an AlAnon meeting. I couldn't even say what I thought I wanted to say, I just blurted out some stuff and then the wave of crying just overtook me...I was overwhelmed with emotion: shame, sadness, anger, terror, disgust....
It was so hard. Now I look back and I have so much compassion for that young woman I was....I was in so much pain, I couldn't know things really would get better and that I was in the right place for that to happen. But the understanding people at that meeting knew, and their kindness was amazing and felt so good.
I love the saying about AlAnon, "a place where I can walk into a room of total strangers and reminisce." Something about recognizing the universality of the experience of loving an addict is instantly soothing, to realize that others have walked the same path and have found a road to peace of mind.
Peace,
B.
Wow what an experience, it really impacted you.
I had a similar experience my first time opening my mouth at an AlAnon meeting. I couldn't even say what I thought I wanted to say, I just blurted out some stuff and then the wave of crying just overtook me...I was overwhelmed with emotion: shame, sadness, anger, terror, disgust....
It was so hard. Now I look back and I have so much compassion for that young woman I was....I was in so much pain, I couldn't know things really would get better and that I was in the right place for that to happen. But the understanding people at that meeting knew, and their kindness was amazing and felt so good.
I love the saying about AlAnon, "a place where I can walk into a room of total strangers and reminisce." Something about recognizing the universality of the experience of loving an addict is instantly soothing, to realize that others have walked the same path and have found a road to peace of mind.
Peace,
B.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Alanon, open AA meetings and SR gave me my life back!! I will be forever Grateful!!
Al-Anon Suggested Closing statement
In closing I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest.
The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind.
A few special words to those of you who haven’t been with us long: Whatever your problems there are those among us who have had them, too. If you try to keep an open mind you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened.
We aren’t perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you’ll discover that though you may not like all of us you’ll love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you.
Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding love and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time.
Al-Anon Suggested Closing statement
In closing I would like to say that the opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest.
The things you heard were spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Keep them within the walls of this room and the confines of your mind.
A few special words to those of you who haven’t been with us long: Whatever your problems there are those among us who have had them, too. If you try to keep an open mind you will find help. You will come to realize that there is no situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be lessened.
We aren’t perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you’ll discover that though you may not like all of us you’ll love us in a very special way, the same way we already love you.
Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another. Instead, let the understanding love and peace of the program grow in you one day at a time.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
(((hugs)))
I've done the ugly, emotions all flooding out there cry at an Al-anon meeting, too.
Now I have an added view of it as a very beautiful, ritual shared by many.
Welcome. To Al-anon, full acceptance, right where you are. I find it to be a beautiful gift.
I've done the ugly, emotions all flooding out there cry at an Al-anon meeting, too.
Now I have an added view of it as a very beautiful, ritual shared by many.
Welcome. To Al-anon, full acceptance, right where you are. I find it to be a beautiful gift.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
Is there anyone that didn't want to cry at their first Al-Anon meeting? Actually I only ever went to one and I hardly spoke a word but I just wanted to break down the whole time (I didn't - just barely!), but I knew they knew and it was ok, I didn't feel uncomfortable.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
One of the things I keep going back to Al-anon for is the laughter. When I first experienced it, I didn't understand it. I didn't know it was okay to laugh about anything while I was in crisis mode. Come to find out, laughter really is good medicine, and on days where I can either laugh, cry or do both, it's wonderful to have choices in this.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
