Puddinface52

I won't take much time. Been here before....I am back again. Just need some loving arms around me. Same story.....31 year old son.....was doing fabulous...attending a program...heading in the right direction and seeing a counselor. Then, once again ....I get that feeling. That gnawing gut feeling.... He doesn't look right...he looks thinner....not looking me in the eye...mark on arm, short text messages...etc. He's on the suboxone program - knows how to work that system too. I know what I need to do....I know I cannot control his decisions....I know I cannot make him do what he cannot seem to control. I need to focus on my health and sanity....I have been down this road too many times. I am saying my prayers that he learns to love himself as much as I love him. Just needed to vent.....love and strength to all.....Pud xox

Freedom1990

Sending you hugs of support!

I have two daughters in active addictions, and I can relate.

Some days it is hard to detach, but I continue to work on it.

Glad to see you back!

Ann

I am so sorry and yes, I know that kicked in the stomach feeling well.

What helped me most was my meetings. If you haven't been going, now is a good time to find (or return to ) a meeting near you. It helped me stay balanced and maintain my own boundaries and self-preservation and helped me more than anything else.

Keeping your son in my prayers.

maia1234

P,
I agree with Ann, you need to hit some meetings. Our obsession with our addicts literally can make you sick. Work your program, keep reaching out for support, read about how it is out of your control and you are powerless.

Pray to God that he will watch over your son and he will be ok. We all get it and understand

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Anaya

Well said. I am adding my prayers as well - that your son turns back toward and once again seeks recovery, that he will find a place of healing and hope, and that he will maintain sobriety.

Wishes for strength! Many hugs from one mom to another

Troubledone

Sending prayers and Hugs also. My addict recently went AWOL and I know how gut wrenching it is.

And frustrating, and sad, and confusing, and all that... Prayers you find peace in the midst of the challenge.

Hugs and Prayers!

Mango212

Hugs and prayers, Puddinface. ((((hugs))))

Ilovemysonjj

Hugs to you Puddin, we all understand this feeling and the anguish of the relapse. Detaching and praying is how I have always found my way out of the darkness when the relapse is evident to me. Your son knows how to get help when he is ready. We are all here for you.
TT

hopeful4

Many hugs and support to you!!!

Puddinface52

...this road...I feel like it never ends.....It is a rollercoaster for me. I feel strong one day - and know what I need to do - and then the next day I am obsessing about him.....all damn day....all while trying to keep a smile on my face at work and lead a normal life. Thanks for the recommendations. Meetings are something I have never done.....and I think I may need to do just that now. I will find out where I can go. xoxox

Puddinface52

Thank you so much.....for your kind words. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. And you are so right ….he does know what he needs to do. He has been attending out patient classes on and off for years....

greeteachday

As silly as it sounds, one of the things I found that helped me with the obsessive thoughts was to talk to myself. In my head if I wasn't alone and aloud if I was. Every time I realized I was back to the future tripping thoughts and worries I would give myself a pep talk . I don't think it was that pep talk itself that helped; it was the fact that I couldn't obsess and talk at the same time! Repeating this often made positive self talk a habit while the negative thoughts gradually faded away.

Hugs to you - and good thoughts and prayers that he finds his way again.

Ilovemysonjj

Dearest Puddin, I just wanted to acknowledge the roller coaster that we get on when we cannot detach. I used to do the exact same thing, keep the happy face and the internal dialogue was CONSTANT.... If you decide to go to a meeting, just know that everyone there is going to understand your situation. The power of the support will help you in the darkest hours. Hugs and praying for your peace today.