LynnJenn

Hey all. Being here in this community having others voice to consider as reason is a rewarding and scary feeling. No one here is influenced by knowing me. Just reading and connecting on this journey.

My last post definitely had me come across as creating barriers in my husband's recovery. I felt bad after I did not help him. I felt so bad I ended up helping him.

When we text later. I told him "I felt like I was creating a roadblock when I didn't have the password. So I had to figure it out".
(Hours later I sent him the password after. I thought about it and check I had it right.)

He responded "Well yes and no it's my personal responsibility to keep up with my own stuff"

I was glad he understood it wasn't from a bad place. Honestly I just couldn't jump when and how he needed me to. That is ok sometimes. That's life. He needs to be able to cope with different situations.

We ended up texting for a while. When he didn't contact me for a week and I was thinking bad. Thinking he was getting high. He was going to meetings and was clean.

Egg on my face. I am glad he's clean. He looked great. I hadn't saw him in 8 months. When he makes 30 days clean. I'm going to take the baby to see him.

Today was a positive. I got to see my husband and he was clean. He's in a good program. Not overly sheltered. So him not smoking is a choice he's exercising everyday he's there.

I pray this road continue up for him.

Just had to get a post in before it was too much to type.

Thanks everyone for holding me accountable for my actions. I just have to make sure I am not enabling and I have clear boundaries.

Whewwww!

Anna

Yes, Lynn, having clear boundaries to take care of yourself and your child, is very important. I'm glad your husband is doing well, and that you feel better about the situation.

LynnJenn

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Thank you. I am going to give myself time to figure out exactly what the boundaries are and how I will enforce them. I guess we are both in recovery. He is in rehab at least until December.

DontRemember

That is true! Have you been to any meetings yourself? Alanon is supposed to be great. Also..check out the friends and family section of this site. There's a lot of support from both sides in there aswell. From now-Dec would be a great time to work on yourself. Take care.

DreamCatcher17

I am happy for you.

Keep working on you as well addiction is a family issue

LynnJenn

No, I have not been to any meetings I read a lot. I consider this my meetings. His counselor wants some sessions with me. I'm going to go to them. Thanks

LynnJenn

I will work on myself. I'm not sure what I'm doing. But everday I am trying. It was really hard to accept I must have some type of problem cause he was smoking dope. But never the less. I have accepted it. I'm a little upset I need classes. Drug rehab classes. Or need to join group like this. I'm still working through my feelings about it all...

DreamCatcher17

I understand where you are coming from, but I will tell you only good things will come out of it and you will be stronger in the end