Fearlessat50

I know that the concept of a higher power is a cornerstone of AA. I never joined AA (though i recently downloaded the Big Book). I quit drinking cold turkey (numerous times before the last one in 1/2017 which I hope is truly the last). I came to SR back then, and started coming back recently because I feel it’s important for my ongoing recovery. I’ve been recently struggling with the idea of higher power and trying to sort out what this means for me. I recently got back from a family trip where my folks preached to me about religion. This is not the first time. I grew up in an over the top religious dogmatic environment, which was almost cultish. It turned me off to religion. But I feel that a sense of spirituality is needed for ongoing recovery.

Can anyone shed some light on this, and if you have a higher power, how do you define this personally?

Ghostlight1

Your higher power can be whatever you'd like it to be.
Some people use the AA group as a higher power.
I know one person who used a box. She would kick it around if feeling like a drink. She called it her god box.
Another used his dog
Just examples. In my opinion, a higher power doesn't have to be a God.
Make it whatever you like

BlownOne

Ghostlight is spot on IMHO. Your higher power can be whatever you want. Heck, at the end of my drinking, and inanimate case of beer was a power greater than myself. Didn't take me long to figure out I could probably come up with a better one.

lmvalentine

I struggled with that for years. I went to a religious grade school and never have accepted organized religion.
Your higher power is whatever you choose. I can’t explain what mine is but it’s there.
Check out the Spirituality forum.

PeaceInSilence

I call my HP god but is he the catholic god that I grew up with? Yes and no.....it's become somewhat of a mesh of feeling and thoughts over the year.

When I struggled with this in the beginning I just did what was suggested by my sponsor and prayed. I know over time this may or may not change but I try not to overthink it now......something I love to do *rolls eyes*

Peace

lessgravity

Any higher power in my life is my soul/psyche/self that resides inside me and has been thwarted and denied for all the years I poisoned it with alcohol.

bexxed

I describe it differently almost every time. The words that want to come out of my mouth right now are: there’s an unexplained source for hope, Love, the miracle of my being alive at this moment. That somehow I exist and coexist on this beautiful planet in symbiosis with billions of other living beings, who all feel hope and love for no reason also. Spinning through space where I can see stars that all have their own story. It humbles me. I do not ascribe to religion.

I do however recognize that behind many religions, at the core of their foundations, are words they may or may not follow anymore, that all say basically the same thing, boiled down.

Glad you’re here and congrats on your sober time.

B

MindfulMan

I tried working the steps and got stuck when I got a sponsor, tried working the step, and tried to define my Higher Power. Couldn't make it fit so turned to other sobriety methods.

It was a humbling experience though. I got to a place where I realized I didn't have all of the answers; I just didn't surrender to an unnameable higher power.

I use the Serenity Prayer a lot, and find it very powerful.

Be123

As a newbie to sobriety I also struggle with this, as with ‘spritiuality’ In general. I’m taking advice to ‘DO’ things, even if I don’t really understand what or why

So my higher power is the universe. The clouds, the sea...before I express gratitude I visualise those beautiful places and things. I even include ants and creepy crawlies. Animals, oxygen, trees, bricks, people, grass. Thank you that I am sober and healthy today

I feel a bit daft but I love nature so I’m running with it. And I am really grateful so it’s good to send it somewhere 🌿

tomsteve

and if you have a higher power, how do you define this personally?
simply put- not me.
a little deeper:
something out there- not of this world- that can help me. something that listens and offers guidance.

goodbyeevan

Such great responses here. I too was raised in a strict religious family, went to a strict religious school. It has taken me 5 months of sobriety and AA to crack the door on faith and trust in something bigger than me.

My HP is the force. The universe, the positive energy that flows through it, the feelings I experience hiking or being in nature. I unexpectedly felt my HP at a concert I went to recently. I still find it difficult to hit my knees but am finding it easier to pause and try to connect to the universe throughout the day, when doubtful or agitated. It is, to my surprise, making a difference. I am hoping that cultivating this connection to a higher power will eventually help me resolve my anxiety issues and I actually have a little faith it will.

tekink

The Universe is my higher power. It's entirety was created in a moment, that energy exists inside all of us.

There's nothing we can do to stop the earth from traveling around the sun. We are set on a path in this life, we can control our side of life but life's still going to keep throwing whatever it wants your way.

OneDayOneHour

It's a big question and, for me, hard to answer. I do agree it's very personal and it can be anything you want it to be. I started finding my family's religion unsatisfying around 15. Explanations didn't add up and I didn't like the exclusion of other belief systems.

Later, I studied evolution in depth and it made perfect sense to me but as I've gotten older, it also fell short because it didn't answer some of the bigger questions. For now, I think if there is a higher power, as such, it is unknowable and I've gotten to a place where I'm comfortable with that because it's just the way I feel.

One theory that does resonate deeply with me is from Eckhart Tolle. I'm paraphrasing but he said that God was the sum total of all life on Earth - all the plants, animals, humans, etc, put it all together and that's God, so we're all little fragments of God essentially. That gave me goosebumps the first time I heard it. I've started to think of God as the sum total of the potential good in the world. When I think about what would happen if the power to do good that lies dormant in everybody became fully realized, it just seems unimaginably beautiful and possibly divine.

There have been times I've gone to church with my family and been a little sad that I didn't feel 'it' but at this point I'm able to take the beauty of the rituals and the feelings of unity it brings in those moments and leave the rest alone.

So I guess, I'm a bit Darwin, a bit Catholic and a bit new-agey

brighterday1234

A connectedness to nature and the world around. I have found as my spirituality has grown it is within. When I’m not searching is when I’m at my most spiritual. It’s always there.

It’s a truly wonderful thing and spirituality I experience in my recovery is the same as what I sought in my drinking and drug binges. A calm peace of mind with no worries and a feeling that everything will be ok.

Truly grateful to be sober.

Gerard52

I think my higher power is my subconscious mind and whatever created it.

thomas11

I was agnostic and maybe even atheist my entire life. In the last couple years I have come to firmly believe that something much greater than ourselves has created the world in which we live. It was not through AA but rather a different avenue but the result is the same. I believe a higher power exists, but not in a traditional god form. Although I hold no judgement for those who follow the main religions.

Fly N Buy

If you feel a sense of spirituality is needed for ongoing recovery, steep yourself in spiritual matters. Walk down your path and see what's there to discover. Likely, you'll bump into others and if stay sober long enough you'll bump into yourself.

Here's a good signature I recently read from a new friend........
If you have no other religion, make it gratitude

Sounds right
Keep coming back......

Fearlessat50

Thank you all so much for your insightful, reflective and deep comments! For a long time I felt resistant to try to define this because I’ve feared being judged by others, like someone might say “no, that can’t be a higher power, that’s wrong” or whatever. I guess that’s all part of my repressed religious upbringing. I also thought wrongly that I was expected to have a straightforward answer on this. It’s nice to see so many different versions, possibilities and creative thoughts even within one individual. At the moment I am exploring the collective good and my own higher self/consciousness and personal code for living. These ideas seem to be working for me, and I have continued to reinforce them not just in my recovery but in the way I live my life in general. I could also say this Sober Recovery group is my higher power. It is great to feel a sense of belonging to this community. I really have not felt this way since I got sober. Most of my friends drink. There are a couple who don’t drink at all, but they never did in the first place so I don’t think they would relate to my recovery. I was so private about my drinking problem and I’ve also been so private about my reasons for choosing not to drink anymore and have only shared details with one friend. Most of my friends have been great and supportive. But sometimes I feel lonely and awkward because they don’t know what they don’t know because I haven’t told them. I haven’t been comfortable reaching out to anyone when I felt weak and tempted to drink. I definitely need to stay a part of this community! You have all strengthened my resolve. Thank you.

Fearlessat50

Ah yes, gratitude too. I believe that was me

thomas11

As I read this post I felt I could see your thought process evolving in real time. Excellent. I think those who are constantly doing a self inventory and evolving their positions on topics and re-evaluating things have a greater success rate than those who are stuck in a mindset.