Cosima11

It somehow took me an extremely long time to even look up what refuge recovery is and what it entails. It's much more aligned with my understanding of addiction and "spiritual outlook" than the alternative which isn't discussed here.

However I was disappointed to find out there are no meetings in my area. There's one I could go to over an hour away, which I might just do.. But don't necessarily want to commute that far on a regular basis. The thought then occurred to me that maybe I could help start one here, although not sure how realistic that is.

Has anyone used this method as part of your recovery? I'd be interested to hear experiences.

MesaMan

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Through a SR Gal Pal, I have eased into some Refuge Recovery ideas and practices. Cuz they suit me. 'Founder' Noah Levine can be found on You Tube giving guided Meditations. There's on-line Meetings, too. I'm not much a Meetings-kinda Guy, so these sorts of Resources suit me better. Kudos to you for knowing that 'something better' is out there for you, and searching for it.

The core understanding for me is to cut to the chase, and deal better with what causes Addictive Behavior, rather than deal with the effects of such Behavior on the back end. That is, you don't use if you gain understanding about why you [and I] use, and try to eliminate or minimize those causes. Refuge Recovery talks a lot about eliminating suffering. That suffering which leads to Addictive Behavior, and negative outlets. All this understanding and Enlightenment is within us, but requires scraping away the 'noise' of old Behaviors. Old Triggers. Old Hurts. Old Patterns. I say 'no' a lot, and am fully at ease with that. That is, avoiding Drinking-oriented events, and Folks who won't help my Sobriety. Or, make a point to hang with Folks who are at least neutral to be around.

So, at a very noob level, I have integrated these practices and ideas, and like how they fit me just shy of 5 Years Sober. There is no 'fight' anymore against picking up; there is now only refinement of the little details that lead to fully living the Sober Life.
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Cosima11

I'm not really a meetings type of person either but do sometimes feel like maybe I'm missing out by not having some sort of "fellowship" aspect to recovery. I can honestly say drinking is no longer a "fight" for me either and I no longer fear some sort of external event or circumstance will threaten my sobriety. I do however want to get deeper into mindfulness, meditation, etc.. although of course I don't necessarily need a recovery group to do that.

I guess I was just sort of surprised that I didn't even know what it was or that the option existed for such a long time. Not that I personally should take on the responsibility (especially when I have virtually no experience with it) of creating a group, I just think it could appeal to people who aren't very enticed by traditional methods. I never really looked into SMART but suspect that would've been interesting too. Anyway, these are all just random thoughts I probably shouldn't have have turned into a thread, lol.

andyh

I did look at Refuge Recovery a while back & did some reading of their material, but their meetings are very thin on the ground here in the UK.

I seem to remember shockzulu saying that he/she used to run SMART meetings in the SR chatroom, although I don't think there have been any since I've been on here. might be worth asking how they were run? I'd be interested

Obladi

Cosima, thank you for posting this. It prompted me to look up Refuge Recovery. I found to my surprise and delight that there is a meeting in my area.

MesaMan, your summary is helpful and aligns with how I've been thinking about "recovery" for as long as I've been trying to get and stay sober.

When I get up the nerve to actually go to that meeting, I'll be happy to report back here.

SMART has a website with online meetings and forums. It's a bit slower than it is around here and I'm pretty certain talk about RR is frowned upon if not forbidden. (There's some bad history there as they split from RR way back in the day.) I'd encourage you to take a look - I learned some from this approach just as I have from a number of others.

Cosima11

Thanks for your reply, O. Sorry I had not checked back in on this thread earlier. I would love to hear about it if you go I'll report back here too if I end up going or at least maybe listening to some of the online recordings.

I sort of skimmed the surface with SMART a few years ago when I was half heartedly thinking about quitting. There was something about a pros and cons list and that's as far as I got with it, didn't want to look at all the cons I guess. Going more in depth with it now though from an analytical viewpoint could help me gain new insights I'm sure.

Wholesome

I went to a Refuge Recovery meeting early on in my quit. The meeting opened with meditation, followed by reading from the book, then popcorn sharing around the group. It was in a nice space full of plants and windows and it smelled nice from the incense. Ultimately I found all meetings to be unnecessary for me as I found AVRT and SR to be enough, but early on I was willing to leave no stone unturned, I was even willing to check myself into out-patient if I couldn't get myself back under control and stick to my quit. If I was the type who jived with meetings then Refuge Recovery would have been the one I picked, it was chill and the people were alright. I agree with the Buddhist principles and way of living. Everything starts in the mind. We are governed by our senses and perceptions and thoughts and memories. I was recently reading that color only exists in our minds. I found that fascinating.

Cosima11

The Buddhist aspect is a big part of the appeal.. I do think sobriety and spirituality (if we're talking about higher powers and divine intervention) are two completely separate issues. But understanding addiction through the lens of control and attachment is very much how I've been thinking about and understanding it this entire time. I've also been wanting to start some sort of meditation practice, possibly with a group, in a meditation center.. So this would just sort of be a blending the two. Remaining abstinent is no longer a struggle but I do feel like I've gone through a lot emotionally in the past couple months since I quit smoking cigarettes, which became a replacement addiction. It's been a turbulent time and I could still use some emotional healing if I'm honest.

Anyway finding the answers and power within has been a huge and essential part of this journey for me. That doesn't mean it's about my ego, it's about knowing and accepting my "authentic self". Acknowledging my faults but also my strengths. Becoming in tune with my subconscious and recognizing the ways it operates.

And it's true about color! Two people can be looking at the same object and see it as a totally different color. Well maybe not totally different, but different enough to argue over whether its yellow or orange for example. Couldn't agree more there's not a single thing about our external realities that doesn't start with our internal perceptions.

Sunflowerlife

I have been really interested in Refuge Recovery as well although the closest meeting is an hour away. I would be interested in a thread here, if you do start one. I am 15 months sober but just now tackling my food addiction which is still very active and very painful. I'd love to see if I can use Refuge to help me as I can't do it on my own.

Sunflowerlife

I just looked again on their site and there is actually a meeting not too far from me on Sunday nights. There are also recorded meetings you can listen to at any time. Going to have a listen now. Thanks again for this thread

Cosima11

I just realized it might have sounded like I was saying I wanted to start it here on SR.. but I meant I maybe wanted to start a meeting in the city I live (if I actually started going and learned enough about it). Sorry for the confusion! I sometimes just ramble on incoherently..

Please feel free to post here about it if you go Sunflowerlife I totally understand food issues can be hard to tackle. I'm still trying to decide what the best policy on sugar is for me (some sweets are fine, others I know I'll binge on).

Sunflowerlife

Ah, that makes sense too!

I think I will try to check a meeting out in the next month- I'll let you know when I do! Have a great night

I did try listening to their prerecorded meetings but for some reason it wouldn't play after a few minutes. Going to try again tomorrow.

MindfulMan

There are a couple of Refuge Recovery meetings here in LA, including at the AT Center where I used to go for 12 Step meetings.

One of these days....

gypsytears

There are live online meetings too. I'm listening to one right now. I don't have any that I can physically get to easily on a regular basis as it's a bit of a drive, but these online ones are 2xs a week and very convenient.

Obladi

Where do I find those online meetings?

Cosima11

Thanks for the info gypsytears, I'll have to check it out! I think they're just run through the refuge recovery website. I may start by listening to some of the recorded meeting playbacks..

https://refugerecovery.org/virtual-meetings

MrsLecter

That's link is great. A couple of the meetings started at midnight due to the time difference which could work since i often get restless in the night!

It is a shame there arent more face to face meeting though. Might have to look into this more

gypsytears

Sorry just seeing this now. There's a meeting tonight at 10pm my time.

https://www.intherooms.com/member/home

MrsLecter

I found this link too:

https://sites.google.com/view/refuge...rces/printable

It's a list of all the documents that can be downloaded and read!

daredevil

Noah Levine's book by the same name is a pretty good read. . The Refuge Recovery program is outlined in the book. The first 20 minutes of the meeting is a guided meditation, which I found useful because I have difficulty doing it myself. The remainder of the meeting a chapter from the book is read and then people share (in relation to that chapter with whatever is going on with them).

I've gone to meetings intermittently, but they are few and far in between.