Birchgreen

Can’t remember when I last posted. I’ve been more sober than not for some time. The “not” has been a problem, obviously. I have great support. My husband never ceases to amaze me that he sticks around and between him, my wonderful kids, psychologists and psychiatrists I have the emotional, medical and therapy back up that many would crave. My problem is chronic depression which I’ve suffered from since my early teens (I’m now in my 50s). Alcohol has been my go to “self medication” despite all the help I’m getting. There have been suicide attempts and self harming. My latest, two days ago, was playing a game of noughts and crosses on my leg with my late father’s pen knife... ( the noughts are quite difficult)... not sure I can go on like this. When I’m sober I begin to think I could like myself, but then I am way out of my comfort zone. My default is self hatred so I go back to drinking...

Anna

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's good that you have medical and psychological help to get you through this.

least

I hope you can find some peace of mind. And use the support here to get sober for good.