sick of drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 12
sick of drinking
First post
Went to first AA meeting yesterday. Teared up on the way there and nearly the whole meeting. Sick of dry heaving, no hunger, sneaking booze everywhere, paying so much $$ to feel like crap.
Everyone was so supporting in my small town meeting. They said I took the first step to recovery, sitting in that chair. Wanted to ask a hundred questions cuz I wired to do that, rather than share.
Comment if you wish.
a)What clicked in your head to make you ultimately succeed at quitting? I'm tapering right now cuz I'm dependent. Just hope I can succeed.
b)I can't stop thinking about beer - what do I do? Read some AVRT as well, which makes some sense.
c) Did you eat something, drink something, activity, .... when you had a craving?
d) I'm so afraid of depression and anxiety and brain fog coming.
I know some of these are in forums and have read em for hours, just wanting some more opinions from the new folks.
bless you all and best wishes
Went to first AA meeting yesterday. Teared up on the way there and nearly the whole meeting. Sick of dry heaving, no hunger, sneaking booze everywhere, paying so much $$ to feel like crap.
Everyone was so supporting in my small town meeting. They said I took the first step to recovery, sitting in that chair. Wanted to ask a hundred questions cuz I wired to do that, rather than share.
Comment if you wish.
a)What clicked in your head to make you ultimately succeed at quitting? I'm tapering right now cuz I'm dependent. Just hope I can succeed.
b)I can't stop thinking about beer - what do I do? Read some AVRT as well, which makes some sense.
c) Did you eat something, drink something, activity, .... when you had a craving?
d) I'm so afraid of depression and anxiety and brain fog coming.
I know some of these are in forums and have read em for hours, just wanting some more opinions from the new folks.
bless you all and best wishes
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi and welcome to SR, you'll find tons of support. Congrats on your decision to stop poisoning yourself. Quitting is fairly easy, staying quit is simple, but pretty hard, but can be done.
To answer some of your q uestions, nothing necessarily clicked in my head, I just got sick of the routine. It was a lot of work. Lots of work. 2.5-3 days every week were consumed by alcohol. Stupid.
The obsessive thoughts will be there for a little while, but will lessen with time.
When cravings hit I would eat. I would always have some food that I could warm up in 2 minutes in the microwave. After I eat I have no desire to drink.
You say you are worried about brain fog and depression. I wouldn't stress too much about it. I never experienced any of it. From day one I started feeling better and better, my mind sharper and sharper. Keep us updated.
To answer some of your q uestions, nothing necessarily clicked in my head, I just got sick of the routine. It was a lot of work. Lots of work. 2.5-3 days every week were consumed by alcohol. Stupid.
The obsessive thoughts will be there for a little while, but will lessen with time.
When cravings hit I would eat. I would always have some food that I could warm up in 2 minutes in the microwave. After I eat I have no desire to drink.
You say you are worried about brain fog and depression. I wouldn't stress too much about it. I never experienced any of it. From day one I started feeling better and better, my mind sharper and sharper. Keep us updated.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
Tapering down is hard for alcoholics to do. Might be easier to get your doctor's help to quit cold turkey. Meds can be given short term to reduce anxiety and risk of seizures. I wish you the best. 
Tapering down is hard for alcoholics to do. Might be easier to get your doctor's help to quit cold turkey. Meds can be given short term to reduce anxiety and risk of seizures. I wish you the best. Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome and I'm glad you found us!
I was about to lose my family and that turned me around. Tapering is extremely difficult, if not impossible, for alcoholics. Most of us here tried and failed at tapering. It's actually much easier to just stop drinking cold turkey. If you have concerns about detoxing, it's always a good idea to talk to your dr.
I found the best thing to do was to distract myself any way I could, even if just for a short period of time. Plan activities that you enjoy, go for a walk, exercise, listen to music, whatever works for you. And, yes, it's important to take care to eat well when you're having cravings. In the early days ice cream seems to help people get through some tough moments.
Actually, alcohol is a depressant. So stopping drinking completely should help you to feel better. There may be some anxiety/depression/brain fog in the early weeks of recovery, but you can get through it. That's the only way to do it.
I was about to lose my family and that turned me around. Tapering is extremely difficult, if not impossible, for alcoholics. Most of us here tried and failed at tapering. It's actually much easier to just stop drinking cold turkey. If you have concerns about detoxing, it's always a good idea to talk to your dr.
I found the best thing to do was to distract myself any way I could, even if just for a short period of time. Plan activities that you enjoy, go for a walk, exercise, listen to music, whatever works for you. And, yes, it's important to take care to eat well when you're having cravings. In the early days ice cream seems to help people get through some tough moments.
Actually, alcohol is a depressant. So stopping drinking completely should help you to feel better. There may be some anxiety/depression/brain fog in the early weeks of recovery, but you can get through it. That's the only way to do it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Acceptance that I had a problem and owning my choice/reasons/excuses for why I drank like I did. AA really got me started and I was court ordered,so props for going on your own. I wish I had! As far as the constant thoughts of beer..Time away from the booze. With some sober time behind you the thoughts lessen. Like a breakup and going no-contact. Eventually you'll move on and get over that person, in this case drinking. I mainly just use this site now and i'm about 19mo(minus 1 night) and hardly even think about a drink. Sure on a hot day "one beer" sounds nice,but I've accepted I can't just have one. I now just don't drink at all. That was hard to accept in the begining to never drink again,but that's just crazy talk. It's only alcohol at the end of the day and I'm doing just fine,if not better, without it in my life.
Edit: Yeah tappering never worked for me. I've also tried every possible way to be able to drink 'normally/moderate' and failed each and every time.
Edit: Yeah tappering never worked for me. I've also tried every possible way to be able to drink 'normally/moderate' and failed each and every time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
That is so great you went to your first meeting. You are inspiring me. Mine is tomorrow.
I always find food really helps, something sweet especially. I found AVRT really helpful too. Best wishes to you xx
I always find food really helps, something sweet especially. I found AVRT really helpful too. Best wishes to you xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
CONGRATULATIONS!!! That's fantastic!!! Best step of your life was going to that meeting, though you may not fully realize it yet.
I'm glad you found supportive and positive vibes in your local!
Keep on going, do your best to try and listen more than you ask at first, share a bit, ask some things, but also just BEING there and being resolved not to drink is a really great place to start.....
As for your questions:
a)What clicked for me that was maybe the MOST influential to my success was coming to see sobriety as my desire instead of an unfortunate thing I HAD to do. A decision to build an image for myself of sobriety as a positive, cool, excellent, preferential path to drinking. For some time, I struggled with "HAVING" to "QUIT". A huge turning point for me was the shift from "HAVING" to "QUIT" into a mentality of "CHOOSING" to "LIVE SOBER".
There were a LOT of things that gradually fell into place as I learned and grew. At first, just making it to meetings and NOT DRINKING was the thing.... but over time and with action and commitment I got to the point of being able to make this shift in mindset and that really was the foundation of my sobriety.
b)Go for a walk, a run, the gym, fishing.... go to the library, research alcoholism, post here on SR, go to a meeting, call a sober friend (get a call list at your next meeting), knit, hunt, play basketball, join a martial arts class, paint, journal, meditate, go to bed, watch a movie.... literally do ANYTHING in response to thinking about beer (apart from drinking). It will get easier.
c) See above.
d) It's OK to be afraid of these.... they're a challenge... and they WILL happen. But you'll survive and you'll make it out the other side into a pretty incredible place. Acceptance is powerful. Understanding and accepting that depression and anxiety and brain fog are part and parcel to most people's recovery allows you to set aside "fear" and move into action to address it. Have a counselor or therapist. Plan anxiety outlets. Take up exercise. Put aside time for self-care. Be ready to talk yourself through the tough times. Have a few 'life lines' - people you can call and lean on......
KEEP the commitment, keep sober, don't drink, choose to ACT in the direction of sobriety. It'll be a life-changing decision - all for the better.
I'm glad you found supportive and positive vibes in your local!
Keep on going, do your best to try and listen more than you ask at first, share a bit, ask some things, but also just BEING there and being resolved not to drink is a really great place to start.....
As for your questions:
a)What clicked for me that was maybe the MOST influential to my success was coming to see sobriety as my desire instead of an unfortunate thing I HAD to do. A decision to build an image for myself of sobriety as a positive, cool, excellent, preferential path to drinking. For some time, I struggled with "HAVING" to "QUIT". A huge turning point for me was the shift from "HAVING" to "QUIT" into a mentality of "CHOOSING" to "LIVE SOBER".
There were a LOT of things that gradually fell into place as I learned and grew. At first, just making it to meetings and NOT DRINKING was the thing.... but over time and with action and commitment I got to the point of being able to make this shift in mindset and that really was the foundation of my sobriety.
b)Go for a walk, a run, the gym, fishing.... go to the library, research alcoholism, post here on SR, go to a meeting, call a sober friend (get a call list at your next meeting), knit, hunt, play basketball, join a martial arts class, paint, journal, meditate, go to bed, watch a movie.... literally do ANYTHING in response to thinking about beer (apart from drinking). It will get easier.
c) See above.
d) It's OK to be afraid of these.... they're a challenge... and they WILL happen. But you'll survive and you'll make it out the other side into a pretty incredible place. Acceptance is powerful. Understanding and accepting that depression and anxiety and brain fog are part and parcel to most people's recovery allows you to set aside "fear" and move into action to address it. Have a counselor or therapist. Plan anxiety outlets. Take up exercise. Put aside time for self-care. Be ready to talk yourself through the tough times. Have a few 'life lines' - people you can call and lean on......
KEEP the commitment, keep sober, don't drink, choose to ACT in the direction of sobriety. It'll be a life-changing decision - all for the better.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome,puck.
Went to first AA meeting yesterday. Teared up on the way there and nearly the whole meeting.
pretty much what i did at my first meeting when i was ready. only thing i could get out of my mouth was,"im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more" and cried the whole meetings. i didnt have to say anything else- the people there that went before me already knew how i felt.
a)What clicked in your head to make you ultimately succeed at quitting? I'm tapering right now cuz I'm dependent. Just hope I can succeed.
b)I can't stop thinking about beer - what do I do? Read some AVRT as well, which makes some sense.
c) Did you eat something, drink something, activity, .... when you had a craving?
d) I'm so afraid of depression and anxiety and brain fog coming.
a)desperation- the pain of getting drunk had finally exceeded the pain of reality and i was willing to go to ANY lengths for victory over alcohol.
b)the mental obsession you describe didnt leave until i was about 6 months sober. during that 6 months, i went to meetings, read the big book, prayed like crazy, worked the steps, and didnt drink even if my ass was falling off.
and repeated.
c) i didnt have anything in particular i ate or drank. the activity i had was pray like crazy, read the big book, work the steps, go to meetings,and not drink even if my ass started falling off.
d) depression, anxiety, and brain fog were there from the beginning. the program of AA promised it would help me tremendously( the program also says there are underlying issues outside help may be necessary for). i didnt allow any of them to be an excuse to drink. i allowed myself to feel. that was something that was going to be necessary for me to learn how to live without alcohol- i had to feel all that to learn what it all was- them underlying issues alcohol was but a symptom of.
by going to meetings, praying like crazy, reading the big book, working the steps, and not drinking even if my ass was falling off, i received every promise the program offers, the greatest being:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________
i have recovered from alcoholism and restore to sanity.
that does NOT mean i can drink like others do- the ones that can have a couple drinks with no ill consequences.
it simply means i am no longer interested in alcohol- the problem i had with alcohol has been removed.
Went to first AA meeting yesterday. Teared up on the way there and nearly the whole meeting.
pretty much what i did at my first meeting when i was ready. only thing i could get out of my mouth was,"im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more" and cried the whole meetings. i didnt have to say anything else- the people there that went before me already knew how i felt.
a)What clicked in your head to make you ultimately succeed at quitting? I'm tapering right now cuz I'm dependent. Just hope I can succeed.
b)I can't stop thinking about beer - what do I do? Read some AVRT as well, which makes some sense.
c) Did you eat something, drink something, activity, .... when you had a craving?
d) I'm so afraid of depression and anxiety and brain fog coming.
a)desperation- the pain of getting drunk had finally exceeded the pain of reality and i was willing to go to ANY lengths for victory over alcohol.
b)the mental obsession you describe didnt leave until i was about 6 months sober. during that 6 months, i went to meetings, read the big book, prayed like crazy, worked the steps, and didnt drink even if my ass was falling off.
and repeated.
c) i didnt have anything in particular i ate or drank. the activity i had was pray like crazy, read the big book, work the steps, go to meetings,and not drink even if my ass started falling off.
d) depression, anxiety, and brain fog were there from the beginning. the program of AA promised it would help me tremendously( the program also says there are underlying issues outside help may be necessary for). i didnt allow any of them to be an excuse to drink. i allowed myself to feel. that was something that was going to be necessary for me to learn how to live without alcohol- i had to feel all that to learn what it all was- them underlying issues alcohol was but a symptom of.
by going to meetings, praying like crazy, reading the big book, working the steps, and not drinking even if my ass was falling off, i received every promise the program offers, the greatest being:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________
i have recovered from alcoholism and restore to sanity.
that does NOT mean i can drink like others do- the ones that can have a couple drinks with no ill consequences.
it simply means i am no longer interested in alcohol- the problem i had with alcohol has been removed.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 374
Welcome aboard
Well done on coming this far it's not easy
But a huge step !
I quit because I was sick an tired of being sick and tired...
I knew my drinking was spiralling quickly out of control
A bottle of wine a night ...4 maybe 5 at the weekend
It actually sounds crazy as I type this that I actually consumed that much alcohol
I did it on my own ...Yes I'm 7 months sober and not a drop has touched my lips since boxing night last year
First few months are hard ...but I pushed through every day one day at a time ...
Be kind to yourself ...eat sleep walk read
For me I researched every single thing on the internet about Alcohol as if I was doing a university degree in it ....I absorbed it all like a sponge ..I watched you tube vidioes..read self help books and posted on here ...It's vital to post here if your struggling these guys are absolutely amazing ...and it will help you cope
My cravings have all but gone
I don't miss it
And I finally faced the fact I can NEVER drink again .....That brings me a great feeling of peace ...
I wish you every success on your journey
Cara ❤❤❤
Well done on coming this far it's not easy
But a huge step !
I quit because I was sick an tired of being sick and tired...
I knew my drinking was spiralling quickly out of control
A bottle of wine a night ...4 maybe 5 at the weekend
It actually sounds crazy as I type this that I actually consumed that much alcohol
I did it on my own ...Yes I'm 7 months sober and not a drop has touched my lips since boxing night last year
First few months are hard ...but I pushed through every day one day at a time ...
Be kind to yourself ...eat sleep walk read
For me I researched every single thing on the internet about Alcohol as if I was doing a university degree in it ....I absorbed it all like a sponge ..I watched you tube vidioes..read self help books and posted on here ...It's vital to post here if your struggling these guys are absolutely amazing ...and it will help you cope
My cravings have all but gone
I don't miss it
And I finally faced the fact I can NEVER drink again .....That brings me a great feeling of peace ...
I wish you every success on your journey
Cara ❤❤❤
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: usa
Posts: 274
Welcome and congratulations on your decision to stop drinking . I am only 30 days sober so I don’t have much advice to offer.
What’s helped me not drink this time around is to eat when I have a craving or sleep or start on a project. So far so good.
My motivation came from turning 50 starting to feel the effects of drinking ( weight , liver pains) I am a lot happier without it!!
What’s helped me not drink this time around is to eat when I have a craving or sleep or start on a project. So far so good.
My motivation came from turning 50 starting to feel the effects of drinking ( weight , liver pains) I am a lot happier without it!!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome and congratulations on this big step! 
I'm not gonna lie - those are probably coming. But they are temporary. Persistent alcohol use messes with the brain chemistry and you will experience an appropriate amount of discomfort as your brain and body heal.
It's temporary. You have to swim the River of Misery to get to the other side, but once you do, you'll never have to go back.
You can do this!
Originally Posted by puck2005 
I'm so afraid of depression and anxiety and brain fog coming.
It's temporary. You have to swim the River of Misery to get to the other side, but once you do, you'll never have to go back.
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,312
Hi Puck. Welcome to SR!
I’m only 51 days in but my decision to stop was because I was sick of being out of control and spiraling quicker by the day.
What has helped me is returning to activities that I always enjoyed but stopped doing: spending quality time with my kids, reading, walking my dogs, cooking, small projects around the house. It’s amazing how much time and energy I have to devote to my interests now that alcohol isn’t in the way. It also keeps my focus away from drinking.
I didn’t experience depression or brain fog but i did experience intense anger - at everyone and everything. That has mostly subsided, still shows up out of nowhere here and there but nothing like the first couple of weeks.
Hope to see you around the boards!
I’m only 51 days in but my decision to stop was because I was sick of being out of control and spiraling quicker by the day.
What has helped me is returning to activities that I always enjoyed but stopped doing: spending quality time with my kids, reading, walking my dogs, cooking, small projects around the house. It’s amazing how much time and energy I have to devote to my interests now that alcohol isn’t in the way. It also keeps my focus away from drinking.
I didn’t experience depression or brain fog but i did experience intense anger - at everyone and everything. That has mostly subsided, still shows up out of nowhere here and there but nothing like the first couple of weeks.
Hope to see you around the boards!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by puck2005
you all are a blessing - thanks so much.
might try another meeting today, just to keep momentum.
might try another meeting today, just to keep momentum.
Edit: I've also cried while sharing and owning how my drinking/behavior had affected others. It's a tuff 'thing' to own up to,but a key to sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Originally Posted by puck2005
a)What clicked in your head to make you ultimately succeed at quitting? I'm tapering right now cuz I'm dependent. Just hope I can succeed.
b)I can't stop thinking about beer - what do I do? Read some AVRT as well, which makes some sense.
c) Did you eat something, drink something, activity, .... when you had a craving?
d) I'm so afraid of depression and anxiety and brain fog coming.
b.) AVRT for sure. In the early days anything and everything I could get my hands on. I obsessed about sobriety. I would read here, listen to YouTube AA vids, etc. etc.. Instead of trying to repress my thoughts about alcohol I instead absolutely immersed myself in reading and learning and trying different experiences to help me acknowledge my issue... and to just pass some time while I got a week or so sober under my belt.
c.)Alcohol is sugar. I used chocolate ice cream for cravings. As time has progressed I'll intentionally do comfort food on a weekend.... but that's more about treating myself compassionately vs. anything physical. I'm no expert, but I recommend ice cream or fruit juice early on to knock down the sugar cravings (sometimes an alcohol craving is just a sugar craving in disguise - seriously - your mind doesn't know the difference, all it knows is it wants sugar.)
d.) Some of the depression & anxiety can go away with the knowledge that you are finally freeing yourself from the lie. Some of it remains or can even get worse if there's enough wreckage laying around - finanical, legal, relationships - whatever. I found making a list of the 1 or 2 things I had to do today to move forward and clean things up was essential. Kept me from getting overwhelmed by everything I felt needed doing so that I could actually get something done.
1 thing a day and in 30 days you really have something.
Make sure to include rest sometimes or purposeful self compassion as the occasional 1 thing that must get done. I definitely had days I said screw it, I'm not doing anything but indulging myself with something.
Some may say the sugar thing is bad advice. My belief is I'll deal with my diet and sugar later. In the first week or two or so I believe everything is negotiable EXCEPT alcohol.
Best to you, you aren't alone. Many, many of us have been where you are. Some of us worse. Be good to yourself, you've made a great decision, you deserve it.
-B
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
I agree about the sugar thing, Buckley. I wasn't prepared for the cravings - & they were intense. For a couple of months I couldn't get enough (& I wasn't even that into sweets prior to quitting). It settled down - no more lollipops or candy bars. Ice cream is allowed though.
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