Babalu

Hi I'm in relationship with I man who was or still is using cocaine. I found out about his addiction two months ago, he said, he stopped, but I'm not sure. I don't know how to help him, sometimes he is happy and other times he has no energy, I can't bring the topic up because he won't talk about it, and he is not seeking help either, I don't know what to do. Some times I think he is still using, how can I help him ? He has been using on and off for about two years.
Any comments or suggestion is appreciated, thank you.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR Babalu. He certainly could be using again, it's a very common thing for an addict to return to their drug of choice in an on and off fashion.

Unfortunately there's really not a lot you can do to help unless he asks. Addiction is a tremendously selfish affliction, and most addicts give their drug of choice ( including alcohol ) the highest priority in their lives. Many times they prioritize it over even family or their own health.

Quitting is definitely possible, and there is plenty of help out there - but if the user is not willing to take it there is not much anyone can do.

least

Scott is right. There's not much you can do to help him. He has to want help himself.

Anna

Welcome and I'm sorry for your situation. There is little you can do to help your boyfriend, unless and until he decides to seek support for his addition. I hope he does this because recovery is possible.

You might like to consider AlAnon in your community as a support for you.

Maudcat

Welcome.
Very sorry for your situation.
Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do. This is really up to him.
Good luck.

Berrybean

He doesn't want to address it, hence the lies and denial. If he doesn't want to deal with it then there is nothing you can do for him. That's the bad news.

The good news is that there is a lot that you can do for yourself, regardless of whether you decide to stay with him or leave. Al anon or Nar anon both would be useful and are only a Google search away (free and confidential, with no registration required, you can just turn up). Also, there is a very supportive Friends nd Family areas on here where there are some kind, honest and wise folk who can share their experience and strength regarding their own lives, and offer some suggestions regarding yours (which of course you are always free to take or pass up as you please).

Please do stick around.

BB

Babalu

Hi BB, thank you for the link, the question is; how do I get him there? I can't even mention the word addition or cacaine, even if I say, you think you need help, he replies, I can do this myself, I guess I have to give him some time. Yesterday we had a good day, went swimming and bike riding 😊 toay, I try to get him to go for a longer bike ride. Remember; "All we have is today " have a great day.

ScottFromWI

There really is no way to "get him there" if he won't do it himself Babalu. That's the really unfortunate thing about addiction is that you cannot force people to get help. They have to want it. And if they don't , there's really nothing you can do.

Babalu

Thank you for your thoughts
Have an awesome day.

Berrybean

No. You cant 'get' him anywhere. That's his job, when he decides that his using is problematic. At the moment he doesn't see it as problematic. AlAnon and NarAnon are for people like yourself, who find other people's drinking or using is causing them a problem. If and when he decides he has a problem then he could opt to got to AA and / or NA. In the meantime all you can do is look after you.

BB