Just Got out of Rehab
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Just Got out of Rehab
I just completed a 30 day Rehab program. I am an alcoholic. I've been drinking heavily since 2015. I hit rock bottom in May 2018. I lost everything - my job, family members, friends, my home, my dignity and my value as a human being. That's when I decided to stop drinking. I'll be 3 months sober on August 2.
I remember when I was at school, and teachers would lecture us about the dangers of addiction. I didn't pay much attention at the time, because I thought something like this would never happen to me. I thought I was "too good" to fall into the dark dungeons of addiction. Oh my, how wrong I was. Addiction spares no one, no matter who you are, what you are and where you come from. Addiction does not discriminate. It devours everything and everyone it can - it's a beast that is never satisfied with what it has. It always wants more.
I'm now on the road to recovery. I was released from rehab on Friday. It's funny - the first day/night at rehab I was so anxious and unhappy. I couldn't believe I had ended up there. I kept replaying all the moments that led me there and it killed me. I wished I could go back in time and change it all, so I wasn't in a place that felt like prison. I really wanted to get the hell out of there. 4 Weeks felt like 4 Years during the first days.
But after getting out on Friday, I was really sad. I miss the people I was with, I miss the colourful characters I came across, the wonderful counselors and lecturers who helped me tremendously. It's actually an experience I will look back on fondly, not only because it has helped me immeasurably, but also because it was a place that made me realise how beautiful people are, and how great life can be.
Prior sobriety and prior rehab, one of the reasons I couldn't give up alcohol was the fact that I couldn't envisage having "fun" again. Alcohol was like a videogame cheat code for me - when I was feeling angry, sad, depressed, it presented an easy way out from those feelings. For a few hours, it created the illusion of happiness - the illusion of having fun. Despite the fact that my problems would be exponentially worse when I woke up the next day, I couldn't break the cycle.
I now realise that cunning, deceptive beast that is addiction was lying to me all this time. I can have fun sober. I can be happy sober. There is no cure for addiction. Only treatment. And essentially, the choice is yours. It comes down to what you want in life. And now I know what I want in life, and alcohol is something I never want anything to do with.
One of the biggest hurdles to me becoming sober was denial. I thought I could be just like my friends - those freaks who can have two beers and leave it at that. I'm not like them. I never will be. I'm like a car with no brakes. I only know how to accelerate - not how to stop. Regardless of whether I crash, I will keep going. And that's why total abstinence is my best friend.
I'm feeling good and optimistic about my life now. I know I have a long journey ahead of me - a road filled with many challenges that will test my resolve and willpower. But after rehab, and after really looking into myself and examining my character, I feel confident that I can overcome these hurdles without going back to my old life. I feel I have the tools to resist.
I lost everything and it is only now I'm putting my life back together. There are many relationships I need to mend, I need to get myself back on track financially, I need to find my own place (I'm living with my mother and stepfather right now) and I need to get back to what I love doing the most in life. I'm 28, and I'm someone who values my own space a lot. I love my parents (couldn't have done this without their support) but it's tough to be living under their roof. But I know it's just a temporary situation, just like with the other things.
I remember being a lurker on this forum during my drinking days. I remember reading posts from people. Posts that proclaimed being sober is much better than being a user. I read some of those posts when I was drunk and I thought these people couldn't possibly be serious. They had to be lying. But now I realise that those people were stating the absolute truth. Sobriety is a billion times better. It's a high of its own.
To all those not sure about seeking people, to those trapped in the daily dungeon of addiction, I truly urge you to seek help. It's not easy at all. It's one of the hardest things you will ever do, but I tell you, it's absolutely worth it.
Much Love to you all
Stay Sober!
I remember when I was at school, and teachers would lecture us about the dangers of addiction. I didn't pay much attention at the time, because I thought something like this would never happen to me. I thought I was "too good" to fall into the dark dungeons of addiction. Oh my, how wrong I was. Addiction spares no one, no matter who you are, what you are and where you come from. Addiction does not discriminate. It devours everything and everyone it can - it's a beast that is never satisfied with what it has. It always wants more.
I'm now on the road to recovery. I was released from rehab on Friday. It's funny - the first day/night at rehab I was so anxious and unhappy. I couldn't believe I had ended up there. I kept replaying all the moments that led me there and it killed me. I wished I could go back in time and change it all, so I wasn't in a place that felt like prison. I really wanted to get the hell out of there. 4 Weeks felt like 4 Years during the first days.
But after getting out on Friday, I was really sad. I miss the people I was with, I miss the colourful characters I came across, the wonderful counselors and lecturers who helped me tremendously. It's actually an experience I will look back on fondly, not only because it has helped me immeasurably, but also because it was a place that made me realise how beautiful people are, and how great life can be.
Prior sobriety and prior rehab, one of the reasons I couldn't give up alcohol was the fact that I couldn't envisage having "fun" again. Alcohol was like a videogame cheat code for me - when I was feeling angry, sad, depressed, it presented an easy way out from those feelings. For a few hours, it created the illusion of happiness - the illusion of having fun. Despite the fact that my problems would be exponentially worse when I woke up the next day, I couldn't break the cycle.
I now realise that cunning, deceptive beast that is addiction was lying to me all this time. I can have fun sober. I can be happy sober. There is no cure for addiction. Only treatment. And essentially, the choice is yours. It comes down to what you want in life. And now I know what I want in life, and alcohol is something I never want anything to do with.
One of the biggest hurdles to me becoming sober was denial. I thought I could be just like my friends - those freaks who can have two beers and leave it at that. I'm not like them. I never will be. I'm like a car with no brakes. I only know how to accelerate - not how to stop. Regardless of whether I crash, I will keep going. And that's why total abstinence is my best friend.
I'm feeling good and optimistic about my life now. I know I have a long journey ahead of me - a road filled with many challenges that will test my resolve and willpower. But after rehab, and after really looking into myself and examining my character, I feel confident that I can overcome these hurdles without going back to my old life. I feel I have the tools to resist.
I lost everything and it is only now I'm putting my life back together. There are many relationships I need to mend, I need to get myself back on track financially, I need to find my own place (I'm living with my mother and stepfather right now) and I need to get back to what I love doing the most in life. I'm 28, and I'm someone who values my own space a lot. I love my parents (couldn't have done this without their support) but it's tough to be living under their roof. But I know it's just a temporary situation, just like with the other things.
I remember being a lurker on this forum during my drinking days. I remember reading posts from people. Posts that proclaimed being sober is much better than being a user. I read some of those posts when I was drunk and I thought these people couldn't possibly be serious. They had to be lying. But now I realise that those people were stating the absolute truth. Sobriety is a billion times better. It's a high of its own.
To all those not sure about seeking people, to those trapped in the daily dungeon of addiction, I truly urge you to seek help. It's not easy at all. It's one of the hardest things you will ever do, but I tell you, it's absolutely worth it.
Much Love to you all
Stay Sober!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 113
Well done!!!
It was so refreshing to read your post, you sound as if you’re in a really good place! I will say to you everything will take time, the house and rebuilding things and you’ll just have to allow that. In our addiction we wanted everything NOW, that takes time to understand it’s not how things work. I too went to rehab for 5 weeks and would never look back. Some days are great some not so great now but even the worst day sober is better than the best day drunk! Keep the head high and whatever is in your recovery plan, meetings etc, don’t become complacent! I found out a month ago I was pregnant and honestly just couldn’t get off the couch with morning sickness to attend my meetings and I could feel my head beginning to go! X
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Loveisallweneed 
It was so refreshing to read your post, you sound as if you’re in a really good place! I will say to you everything will take time, the house and rebuilding things and you’ll just have to allow that. In our addiction we wanted everything NOW, that takes time to understand it’s not how things work. I too went to rehab for 5 weeks and would never look back. Some days are great some not so great now but even the worst day sober is better than the best day drunk! Keep the head high and whatever is in your recovery plan, meetings etc, don’t become complacent! I found out a month ago I was pregnant and honestly just couldn’t get off the couch with morning sickness to attend my meetings and I could feel my head beginning to go! X
And a huge congrats on the baby!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Rehab put me on the path of recovery from
my alcohol addiction back in August 1990.
28 days in with a 6 week aftercare program
and many one days sober with a continuous
AA program of recovery taught to me and
applied over the yrs has kept me sober.
Today I firmly believe that alcohol is still
alive and well and continuing to take folks
out left and right without mercy and can
very well take me out if I ever let go of my
recovery lifelines and continuous recovery
program incorporated in my everyday life
to achieve many blessings I so enjoy and
appreciate today.
Good job on completing rehab and beginning
your new life sober and addiction free as you
move forward listening, learning, absorbing and
applying many useful tools to building your
own strong solid recovery foundation to live
upon for yrs to come.
my alcohol addiction back in August 1990.
28 days in with a 6 week aftercare program
and many one days sober with a continuous
AA program of recovery taught to me and
applied over the yrs has kept me sober.
Today I firmly believe that alcohol is still
alive and well and continuing to take folks
out left and right without mercy and can
very well take me out if I ever let go of my
recovery lifelines and continuous recovery
program incorporated in my everyday life
to achieve many blessings I so enjoy and
appreciate today.
Good job on completing rehab and beginning
your new life sober and addiction free as you
move forward listening, learning, absorbing and
applying many useful tools to building your
own strong solid recovery foundation to live
upon for yrs to come.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 304
Helli catlover.
Your post was just what I needed to read today. So very honest and truly inspiring. I can really relate to the 'car with no brakes' analogy.
I am so pleased you have come through and are feeling so much better.
There is hope for all of us.
C
Your post was just what I needed to read today. So very honest and truly inspiring. I can really relate to the 'car with no brakes' analogy.
I am so pleased you have come through and are feeling so much better.
There is hope for all of us.
C
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by aasharon90
Rehab put me on the path of recovery from
my alcohol addiction back in August 1990.
28 days in with a 6 week aftercare program
and many one days sober with a continuous
AA program of recovery taught to me and
applied over the yrs has kept me sober.
Today I firmly believe that alcohol is still
alive and well and continuing to take folks
out left and right without mercy and can
very well take me out if I ever let go of my
recovery lifelines and continuous recovery
program incorporated in my everyday life
to achieve many blessings I so enjoy and
appreciate today.
Good job on completing rehab and beginning
your new life sober and addiction free as you
move forward listening, learning, absorbing and
applying many useful tools to building your
own strong solid recovery foundation to live
upon for yrs to come.
my alcohol addiction back in August 1990.
28 days in with a 6 week aftercare program
and many one days sober with a continuous
AA program of recovery taught to me and
applied over the yrs has kept me sober.
Today I firmly believe that alcohol is still
alive and well and continuing to take folks
out left and right without mercy and can
very well take me out if I ever let go of my
recovery lifelines and continuous recovery
program incorporated in my everyday life
to achieve many blessings I so enjoy and
appreciate today.
Good job on completing rehab and beginning
your new life sober and addiction free as you
move forward listening, learning, absorbing and
applying many useful tools to building your
own strong solid recovery foundation to live
upon for yrs to come.
You are absolutely right about alcohol continuing to destroy lives left, right and centre. And as you write, with no mercy. It really is relentless.
Thanks for such kind words and congrats on your long term sobriety once again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Cuckoo
Helli catlover.
Your post was just what I needed to read today. So very honest and truly inspiring. I can really relate to the 'car with no brakes' analogy.
I am so pleased you have come through and are feeling so much better.
There is hope for all of us.
C
Your post was just what I needed to read today. So very honest and truly inspiring. I can really relate to the 'car with no brakes' analogy.
I am so pleased you have come through and are feeling so much better.
There is hope for all of us.
C
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Congratulations on almost three months. It sounds like rehab really helped to shift your mindset, and you are ready for all of the good things that will come with sobriety.
I wish I had been smart enough to stop drinking at your age, you have your whole life ahead of you, and I have no doubt it's going to be a great one.
It sounds like your parents are really supportive, and although this was not how you envisioned you at 28 use this time to figure out your next steps and save some money.
Do you have any thoughts on where you might like to work?
I wish I had been smart enough to stop drinking at your age, you have your whole life ahead of you, and I have no doubt it's going to be a great one.
It sounds like your parents are really supportive, and although this was not how you envisioned you at 28 use this time to figure out your next steps and save some money.
Do you have any thoughts on where you might like to work?
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Cat,
I am pretty sober these days, but I still crave.
It is the addict mind that I will have for life.
I went to the store today and on the way I drove by a pot store.
It was like a pot super market. I told my wife that I don't want to mess with pot because I am currently only addicted to caffeine.
She mad made no comment.
We then went to one of my wife's friends house. There was tons of food and booze.
Nobody was drinking. There was booze everywhere. Probably about 200 bottles of all different kinds.
I thought to myself....these folks are getting drunk too much. I could never have that much booze in my house. I never was able to maintain any significant amount. I work on the bottles little by little until they were history.
Thanks.
I am pretty sober these days, but I still crave.
It is the addict mind that I will have for life.
I went to the store today and on the way I drove by a pot store.
It was like a pot super market. I told my wife that I don't want to mess with pot because I am currently only addicted to caffeine.
She mad made no comment.
We then went to one of my wife's friends house. There was tons of food and booze.
Nobody was drinking. There was booze everywhere. Probably about 200 bottles of all different kinds.
I thought to myself....these folks are getting drunk too much. I could never have that much booze in my house. I never was able to maintain any significant amount. I work on the bottles little by little until they were history.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by Delilah1
Congratulations on almost three months. It sounds like rehab really helped to shift your mindset, and you are ready for all of the good things that will come with sobriety.
I wish I had been smart enough to stop drinking at your age, you have your whole life ahead of you, and I have no doubt it's going to be a great one.
It sounds like your parents are really supportive, and although this was not how you envisioned you at 28 use this time to figure out your next steps and save some money.
Do you have any thoughts on where you might like to work?
I wish I had been smart enough to stop drinking at your age, you have your whole life ahead of you, and I have no doubt it's going to be a great one.
It sounds like your parents are really supportive, and although this was not how you envisioned you at 28 use this time to figure out your next steps and save some money.
Do you have any thoughts on where you might like to work?
As to where I will work next - I'm a journalist by profession. I used to work for a TV station as a documentary producer. But this time around I have no desire to work for a media house (I was miserable in my last job - too much company bureaucracy and politics). Prior addiction and prior my job at the TV station, I worked as an independent filmmaker, mainly specialising in documentaries. That is what I'm going back to. I was happy working on projects I was passionate about. I'm currently in the process raising funds to shoot a feature length documentary on orphaned street children in my country (Malawi). It was actually a project I wanted to work on in 2016, but alcohol got in the way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 143
Originally Posted by D122y
Cat,
I am pretty sober these days, but I still crave.
It is the addict mind that I will have for life.
I went to the store today and on the way I drove by a pot store.
It was like a pot super market. I told my wife that I don't want to mess with pot because I am currently only addicted to caffeine.
She mad made no comment.
We then went to one of my wife's friends house. There was tons of food and booze.
Nobody was drinking. There was booze everywhere. Probably about 200 bottles of all different kinds.
I thought to myself....these folks are getting drunk too much. I could never have that much booze in my house. I never was able to maintain any significant amount. I work on the bottles little by little until they were history.
Thanks.
I am pretty sober these days, but I still crave.
It is the addict mind that I will have for life.
I went to the store today and on the way I drove by a pot store.
It was like a pot super market. I told my wife that I don't want to mess with pot because I am currently only addicted to caffeine.
She mad made no comment.
We then went to one of my wife's friends house. There was tons of food and booze.
Nobody was drinking. There was booze everywhere. Probably about 200 bottles of all different kinds.
I thought to myself....these folks are getting drunk too much. I could never have that much booze in my house. I never was able to maintain any significant amount. I work on the bottles little by little until they were history.
Thanks.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Hey cat lover, congrats on making it through rehab! I got home yesterday after 2 months in rehab so I know exactly where you are at, it’s hard having to take a long hard look at yourself whilst there and the rules can sometimes drive you mad lol but the skills and coping mechanisms acquired will serve you well, we just need to remember to use the tools we have been blessed with and keep up the good fight!!
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