Branches

Good evening, everyone. I have been off and on this site a few times - usually for "support" when I was dong a dry January or "taking a break", etc. In the last month, I came to a point where I said a prayer to please help me stop wanting to drink and to overeat. Wow. Be careful what you pray for. The answer was speedy - multiple nights of insomnia and what I can only describe as hellish heartburn accompanied by panic attacks- enough to prompt an ER visit. That was the moment where I decided to quit drinking for good - like, quit while you're ahead, dummy. How many more health problems will it take? so I'm happy to say I'm on my 11th day of sobriety, and in general really like it. I don't know whether to attribute this rather flat "leave me alone" feeling I have to new sobriety, the fact that I'm still having middle of the night GERD issues and insomnia , or the fact that due to some personnel changes, I now work with people who are 30 years younger than I and carry on all day like they're at a bar after work (loud, boisterous, vulgar). It makes for a tedeious day at times. Did any of you sober samurai out there feel kind of flat and down in your early days of sobriety? Don't get me wrong. I love not feeling like crap. I love not feeling guilty . I love waking up after a good night's sleep (when I get one) to a big cup of good coffee early in the morning. I'm praying, reading on SR and other books on sobriety, starting to exercise again, but after the first week my mood shifted downward. I actually feel lonely for something, although I'm not sure what. Your thoughts?

tekink

I felt that way for about a year but it started lessing in waves after around 6 months.

It took me a while to feel normal but it's been worth it.

tomls

I was all over the place when I first got sober! Not an easy thing to do. A lot of deep breathing exercises, meditation and sleep. I didn't ask too much from myself just get through another 24 hours. I have always checked in on the 24 hour recovery thread every morning to remind me of who I am and I can't drink. I think it has helped me. Best wishes for you on your journey!

least

In early recovery I was too busy being anxious to feel 'flat'. It took me a while sober to start feeling normal again. At least a few months. But it was worth the wait and the effort it took to get there.

Renvate

Moving from daily drinker to daily sober is not just a quick change and that's it. it's a full below emotional up and down journey that can last month's.

After a few months you will start to see a different person, and the drinking person you once we're will actually not be recognisable anymore. But as I said it takes months.

Iam 3 months healthy, (not sober, I've relapsed recently, but I still have that health I've earned)

Think of it as a journey from overweight to very fit. It's a long journey and its hardwork. But you change in the end . And yes being depressed sounds about right.

kevlarsjal2

I felt absolutely horrible for the first weeks. I felt actually worse than when I was drinking.
I had zero energy, zero concentration and was utterly depressed and anxious. It gets better though!

nightshade131

I am only on day 3, the first day I was almost hyperactive, yesterday I was shaking and today I feel so damn depressed. It's like the the future is bleak. The weird thing is, I am not craving a drink as I am too depressed to even think about it.

ScottFromWI

It's very common to feel up/down/left/right early on. 11 days is fantastic, but it's also very, very early in the grand scheme of things. It can take weeks, even months for your body to completely "heal" from the damage done by drinking. The alcohol itself causes damage of course, but many of us neglected other areas of our life when drining - diet, exercise, etc. So it's possible that you might need to address those areas.

As far as feeling down, there's a few things to consider. First off - the fact that you "feel" things at all is a new concept in istelf, right? Our default response to anything that did't feel good was to drink and hide/run away. Now that we don't have that anymore all those feelings are just sitting there for us to deal with. And some of them aren't good - but that's simply part of life.

The other thing to consider is that if you feel down a lot, it could be a sign of something like clinical depression. Probably a bit early on to know that , but if you still have problems that don't seem to go away consider that you might need to treat them as a distinct and separate issue. Quitting drinking solves some problems, but not everything.

Branches

Thank you, everyone, for your kind encouragement and comments. I feel like 50 percent better today - amazing what a good night's sleep will do.
And, truly, when you aren't drinking, you start thinking - and evaluating- and considering, and yes, you have to 'deal' with stuff with a cup of decaf as opposed to a glass of wine. I guess I wondered if anyone else had that feeling at the beginning. Good to know I wasn't alone.

Hopeful528

Glad you felt better today, branches.
Have a good another 24 hours.

While only medical advice can rule out other co-current issues after some time in sobriety, in my experience it is normal to have emotions a bit all over the place in early sobriety, and sleep usually gets better in time, which with me totally affects my mood and day if I get poor sleep.

Sounds like listening to teenage girls on the bus, I can relate deep breaths I try to remember what I can change and what I cant and just focus on what I can control but totally sympathetic :P Maybe a lovely herbal tea at work and deep breathing exercises
have a wonderful sleep and day

Hopeful528

Also, I do find lack of sleep makes me not want to be around people socially and increases my irritability

and you've given up two things you spent time doing, so i think its normal to feel empty, or like a gap somethings missing, some healthy self soothing replacements like a hot bath and a good program and nice walk someting healthy you look forward too in the evenings maybe, light candles, put on a great show, etc.

D122y

Bran,

I am still learning to deal w life sober.

I was a drunk for most of it.

Joe Walsh...Eagles...described getting clean as learning to live all over again.

Thanks.

Dee74

I think its very common., We really mess up our brain chemistry - it takes a while for things to settle back to normal

Of course if you're concerned, please do think about seeing your doctor, Bunchie.

D

Cascabel

When I quit a few years ago I suffered from depression and disaffection for several months. I attributed it to taking alcohol out of my mind and body. It started getting better after the first month and was more or less gone in two months. I needed to keep reminding myself that I was unlearning drinking.

entropy1964

Feeling the way you are, based on everything you mentioned, not just quitting, are reasons to feel flat and down. Feelings up or down are simply part of life. And yes, if you were a drinker for a long time it will take a while. You didn't walk in to the forest in 11 days, you won't walk out in that time either.

Now begins the work of learning to cope with life. With people that are irritating, with loneliness, with boredom, with those pesky feelings. Just learning that whatever it is you are feeling it will change, good or bad. And that you don't have to drink, no matter what you are feeling. That is a choice, not an imperative.

Great job on 11 days!

Fearlessat50

It took me at least a few months. But honestly the journey continued for a life time. Among other reasons, starting with my teen years I was drinking to deal with both life’s highs and lows. Once I got sober, I realized that even though the problems I created from drinking went away, life is still an emotional rollercoaster ride. So I continue to work on emotional sobriety and how I handle life stressors, and life in general actually. It does keep getting better though. I hope you will stay the course.