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Old 07-24-2018, 05:42 AM
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New to this!

I have been a weekend binge drinker since the age of 15 an now 45! I really want to quit drinking, but it's so ingrained into my life style I'm not sure how to. Just stop right.
It does effect my kids cause the older kids who are now of legal age have become some of my drinking buddies. I'm waking up every Sunday morning having thoughts of "I have to quit drinking" and keep telling myself next weekend I'll drink in moderation, but that never happens.
I want to quit drinking for myself, my family, for my business, my health, & my God. Any advice on what to do when next Friday & Saturday rolls around?
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Old 07-24-2018, 05:56 AM
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Welcome to SR.

You tell me, how are you not going to drink?
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Old 07-24-2018, 05:56 AM
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Pray. And don't drink.
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Old 07-24-2018, 06:01 AM
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It's really simple.

At the end of your arm is a hand.

Don't use it to hold alcohol.

Sounds flip, right? I mean, that's all there is to it. I had to start saying, "No," to my desires.

Stay busy. Just don't pick up that first drink.
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Old 07-24-2018, 06:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Tmcginnis View Post
I'm waking up every Sunday morning having thoughts of "I have to quit drinking" and keep telling myself next weekend I'll drink in moderation, but that never happens.
I can't count the amount of times I've said, I'll have a drink, but just 2 or 3 maximum, after 1, there's no stopping, for me at least its all or nothing, there's no middle ground. 1 beer and I'll start the crazy cycle over again and I cannot bear to let down any more people I love or cause myself more damage and limit my own potential, Its simply-not-worth-it.

I'm only on day 9 here, just taking it one day at a time, not thinking ahead, just get through today and things will improve over time is the advice I have been given and I believe it to be true.

Having alternative activities is really important, if you find yourself idle you'll be thinking about drinking, keeping active and doing different activities may help.

I wish you the best!
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Old 07-24-2018, 06:55 AM
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I hate the “just don’t drink” responses. Ultimately, they end up being true, but when I first found this site I remember thinking, “well if I could do that, I wouldn’t be here!”

The first step is admitting that you have a problem. Like really admitting it. And if you have a problem, that means that you need help.

In the beginning, I read every alcoholism memoir that I could find. I started with ones written by women because I could relate better, then I moved on to other kinds. I looked for the similarities between me and the stories, not the differences.

I also checked out AA. I really enjoy it today, but it took a while to let my guard down and stop trying to prove to myself that I was better than all those drunks in there. Reading the stories in the big book helped too. You can download that and read with no one the wiser.

I got a therapist and was honest about my drinking. We started exploring what it was doing for me, why I did it, and what the consequences were of my choices. That really helped with the denial.

I came here every day, multiple times a day. I read the stories in the section where people tell about their drinking history and recovery.

And then...I just didn’t drink.

Good luck on your journey!!!
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Old 07-24-2018, 07:09 AM
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Welcome to SR Tmcginnis!

The first thing I would do is to tell what you have told us to your family and friends. Most people will understand and be pleased that you are doing this. The second thing I would suggest is to arrange a couple of alcohol free displacement activities over the weekend so perhaps a movie on Friday and a day out somewhere on Saturday. That is the beginning of breaking the old habits and mindset and replacing them with new ones.

One good thing is that it does not sound like you are a weekday drinker on top of weekend binging. You really, really don't want it to progress to that so well done for realising you have issues with your drinking before it did.
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Old 07-24-2018, 07:12 AM
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I'm on day 12. I've been there, and apart from the physical ups and downs of binge drinking, the mental struggle of telling myself I need to make a change and then failing to follow through with it is exhausting. I just don't want to be under the thumb of alcohol anymore -- sounds like you might be in a similar spot.

I've simply been telling people that I'm not drinking, and that diffuses it (and there is some affirming effect of stating that out loud to other people that then keeps me from drinking at whatever event I'm at). It sounds simple, and leading up to that point there is self-doubt and the voice of maybe I should make an exception, but I just keep focused one decision at a time.

If people ask why, I just say I'm on a cleanse/30-day diet that involves not drinking -- which just happens to be true since I'm also doing a whole-30 like diet with my wife for 30d, but it avoids any big discussion. I have told my wife, who is supportive, so I have some personal accountability to her now.

And I've been praying a lot, checking in here, and reminding myself of the person I want to be for all the reasons you mentioned.
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Old 07-24-2018, 07:39 AM
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" If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer."

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink."

Those are a couple of excerpts from the book Alcoholics Annymous. I don't know where you are on the matter of choice. If you still have the power to choose, then all you have to do is exercise it in the right way. Just don't drink.

If you are like me, one who lost the power of choice and never got it back, then it becomes a matter of finding the power to live well without the need to drink at all. Usually that has to be a power greater than ourselves, obviously, because our own power is not adequate.

I found the power through the AA program. AA makes many promises, but no where is it promised I will get the power of choice back. Instead it promises that the problem will be removed, I will be placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected. As the problem has been removed the whole concept of choice becomes redundant. Never once in 38 years of sobriety have I had to decide whether to drink or not. It has become a total non-issue.
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Old 07-24-2018, 11:33 AM
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Welcome to the family. I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
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Old 07-24-2018, 05:10 PM
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Hi and welcome Tmcginnis

For me posting and reading here daily really helped me accept that I had a problem and there was no way for me to have a normal relationship with alcohol.

I suggest you do the same - read around even if you don't post - and don't wait for the weekend - be prepared now - get some ideas...make a plan


Originally Posted by eyes99
I hate the “just don’t drink” responses. Ultimately, they end up being true, but when I first found this site I remember thinking, “well if I could do that, I wouldn’t be here!”
we're all different

that just don't drink message was very reassuring to me - I could take this immense problem and boil it down to a simplicity my brain could just about handle.

'Don't drink have faith, and things will get better' is probably the most beautiful sentence I read in those early days

It gave a hopeless me a spark of hope

D
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Old 07-24-2018, 06:10 PM
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Welcome to a great place for encouragement, tmcginnis.

In the early days of recovery, I'd read and post here to help with the anxiety. Keep busy & distracted. It's difficult early on, but everything settles down & gets better. I'm glad you've made this decision!
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