My 20s are a Blur
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 9
My 20s are a Blur
Hey everyone.
I never really drank much when I was young, but as soon as I turned 21 I dove headfirst into this mess. Almost 28 now, and I've had enough.
When I first started drinking I was a complete idiot, drinking tons of liquor just to get as blasted as possible and as often as possible. I've dealt with depression and social anxiety most of my life, so drinking became a crutch.
When I was 23 I was in a relationship with a guy who was also a drinker. Soon after while living together I was definitely at my worst, drinking heavily every single night and blacking out often. Even sometimes before going into work, I'm amazed I wasn't fired, but everyone knew. We were enabling each other, fighting a lot, and the whole situation was just a train wreck. In late 2016, right before turning 26, I realized I needed to leave that environment and ended it.
I spent most of 2017 trying (unsuccessfully) to moderate myself, but I did manage to cut back somewhat, at the very least. Then the day after Christmas I binged again, had either 6 or 8 beers that night(I don't know), woke up with a horrible hangover and decided, for the millionth time, to quit for good. I made it 5 months clean, the longest in 7 years, before I started again this past May. I'm truly terrified of the possible physical damage done, yet too terrified to see a doctor.
Right now I'm on day 5, I pray this will be the last time for the rest of my life. I'm extremely angry and ashamed of myself for slipping.
Right now I've got a trunk full of empty tallboys, I think I'll go recycle them and be rid of all reminders of my past.
Thanks for listening. Any other young women out there struggling?
I never really drank much when I was young, but as soon as I turned 21 I dove headfirst into this mess. Almost 28 now, and I've had enough.
When I first started drinking I was a complete idiot, drinking tons of liquor just to get as blasted as possible and as often as possible. I've dealt with depression and social anxiety most of my life, so drinking became a crutch.
When I was 23 I was in a relationship with a guy who was also a drinker. Soon after while living together I was definitely at my worst, drinking heavily every single night and blacking out often. Even sometimes before going into work, I'm amazed I wasn't fired, but everyone knew. We were enabling each other, fighting a lot, and the whole situation was just a train wreck. In late 2016, right before turning 26, I realized I needed to leave that environment and ended it.
I spent most of 2017 trying (unsuccessfully) to moderate myself, but I did manage to cut back somewhat, at the very least. Then the day after Christmas I binged again, had either 6 or 8 beers that night(I don't know), woke up with a horrible hangover and decided, for the millionth time, to quit for good. I made it 5 months clean, the longest in 7 years, before I started again this past May. I'm truly terrified of the possible physical damage done, yet too terrified to see a doctor.
Right now I'm on day 5, I pray this will be the last time for the rest of my life. I'm extremely angry and ashamed of myself for slipping.
Right now I've got a trunk full of empty tallboys, I think I'll go recycle them and be rid of all reminders of my past.
Thanks for listening. Any other young women out there struggling?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 100
i feel your pain. hang in there.
i'm a young man struggling at age 25. one night of drinking in late january after 3 months off and boom. slowly but surely i'm back into the drinking / bar life and was also high the last 2 months.
it is a real struggle. i'm on day 6 today. hopefully its the last time for me too.
one day at a time.
i'm a young man struggling at age 25. one night of drinking in late january after 3 months off and boom. slowly but surely i'm back into the drinking / bar life and was also high the last 2 months.
it is a real struggle. i'm on day 6 today. hopefully its the last time for me too.
one day at a time.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
I wish you guys both well. I wish I had come to the relizations you have at your age.
Don't be afraid to see the Dr. It not like not going to see the Dr. will make the problem disappear. Chances are since your both young you will recover much faster than us older people.
Don't be afraid to see the Dr. It not like not going to see the Dr. will make the problem disappear. Chances are since your both young you will recover much faster than us older people.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Great to have you with us, Sonder. 5 days is wonderful.
My 30's, 40's, & beyond are a blur as well.
At least that won't happen to you. Trying to moderate was the worst thing I could have done. I lost many years fooling with that idea. It's so good to be totally free of it. You can do it!
My 30's, 40's, & beyond are a blur as well.
At least that won't happen to you. Trying to moderate was the worst thing I could have done. I lost many years fooling with that idea. It's so good to be totally free of it. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Hi sonder. I was also a late bloomer, only really starting to drink around 20-21 years of age. If you're realizing you have a problem at 28, plus an awareness of your depression and social anxiety, you're in a great position to quit. I didn't get there until I was 40!
Also, don't get too mired in self-deprecation. Be firm with yourself, but also be kind.
Also, don't get too mired in self-deprecation. Be firm with yourself, but also be kind.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Brit in New Zealand
Posts: 160
I am a twenty nine year old woman whose twenties was also a blur! I am from the UK so I was drinking at eighteen. By the time I was twenty I definitely had a dependence on booze. It is so difficult to pinpoint the exact time it got out of my control and I was a full blown alcoholic, but it has been that way for years now. With me and booze it was love at first sight. I adored being drunk and how the world was softer and I had confidence for the first time ever. I loved it far, far too much.
My twenties is a blur of partying, arguments, one night stands with strangers, stupid and irresponsible behaviour, screaming and crying fits, one drink driving conviction and a wrecked car, mysterious bruises and just humiliating and disgracing myself all the time.
Worst of all, losing my dignity and having absolutely zero self esteem or self worth. Not giving a toss about anyone or anything, apart from getting wasted. I was just slowly killing myself, physically and spiritually.
Something in me snapped just over a month ago. Maybe the realisation that I am turning thirty in April next year and that the next decade will be just like this one, but worse. Because it always gets worse. I was just DONE. Utterly DONE.
I am nearly a month sober and I honestly feel like I have spent the last ten years in a maximum security prison and just discovered the cell door was unlocked the whole time. Being sober does unnerve me, but imagining being a drunk for the rest of my life terrifies me.
My twenties is a blur of partying, arguments, one night stands with strangers, stupid and irresponsible behaviour, screaming and crying fits, one drink driving conviction and a wrecked car, mysterious bruises and just humiliating and disgracing myself all the time.
Worst of all, losing my dignity and having absolutely zero self esteem or self worth. Not giving a toss about anyone or anything, apart from getting wasted. I was just slowly killing myself, physically and spiritually.
Something in me snapped just over a month ago. Maybe the realisation that I am turning thirty in April next year and that the next decade will be just like this one, but worse. Because it always gets worse. I was just DONE. Utterly DONE.
I am nearly a month sober and I honestly feel like I have spent the last ten years in a maximum security prison and just discovered the cell door was unlocked the whole time. Being sober does unnerve me, but imagining being a drunk for the rest of my life terrifies me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Hi Sonder, nice to meet you! Fellow young woman here! 
I'm 28 and stopped drinking when I was 26. I started in my teenage years at around 13. It was pretty bad already when I was 16 and I drank often until I passed out. But yes during my 20s it became much worse in the way that I suddenly started struggling with anxiety and became aware of my depression. And the drinking stopped working, I built up quite a tolerance and needed more and more, also needed to drink throughout the day and in the mornings to fight off withdrawal symptoms.
I'm 28 and stopped drinking when I was 26. I started in my teenage years at around 13. It was pretty bad already when I was 16 and I drank often until I passed out. But yes during my 20s it became much worse in the way that I suddenly started struggling with anxiety and became aware of my depression. And the drinking stopped working, I built up quite a tolerance and needed more and more, also needed to drink throughout the day and in the mornings to fight off withdrawal symptoms.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
I'm 37 but stopped at 33 bc my liver failed and forced my hand. But I also didn't start drinking seriously until I was 24-25, so my late 20's and early 30's were a huge mess even though I did make significant accomplishments that are benefitting me today. But I'm glad to have quit when I did bc I 1000x am glad to still have (hopefully) many good Sober years and health left out in front of me.
Quit now, while you're young
~Bunnez
Quit now, while you're young
~Bunnez
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