Ex has died for sure this time
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Ex has died for sure this time
Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse...my ex's wife's aunty came over to tell me he passed away this morning. I can't imagine what his poor wife is going through. She will probably go back to Thailand. The last time I talked to him was 6 weeks ago and he was writing his will. He was only 63 and struck down by cancer. I resigned myself this week to the fact I would never see him again. I guess it is closure but I will probably beat myself up over drunken rambling at him. I don't even know where the cancer started. I won't be invited to his funeral. That's it.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
sweeti, sobriety is your number 1 priority still. you had said you will be getting to meetings- stick to that plan. this is not an event a drink will make better nor will a drink help. you are going to have to allow the feelings and emotions happen- thats actually part of being human,ya know. 
and by doing so, you will learn.
and toss out the ass kikin machine. it aint gonna help nothin.
and by doing so, you will learn.
and toss out the ass kikin machine. it aint gonna help nothin.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
He's in a better place now. Having lost my husband to cancer I can assure you, he was not thinking about your drunken rambling....absolutely the last thing on his mind. So you can make it the last thing on yours too. Beating yourself up makes no sense. Say a prayer for him, light a candle, let it go. He's not suffering now. And you don't have to either, unless you choose to. But that is separate from his death....100%.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Lost my Dad January 2017 to cancer then my stepdad January 2018 to cancer. Had cancer myself too. I chose to drink which reactivated my alcoholism and it became very difficult to escape because alcohol was my crutch.
I'm sorry for you loss. It does get easier and don't be afraid to speak to your doctor or councillor.
I'm sorry for you loss. It does get easier and don't be afraid to speak to your doctor or councillor.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
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Originally Posted by tomsteve 
sweeti, sobriety is your number 1 priority still. you had said you will be getting to meetings- stick to that plan. this is not an event a drink will make better nor will a drink help. you are going to have to allow the feelings and emotions happen- thats actually part of being human,ya know.
and by doing so, you will learn.
and toss out the ass kikin machine. it aint gonna help nothin.
and by doing so, you will learn.
and toss out the ass kikin machine. it aint gonna help nothin.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
He's in a better place now. Having lost my husband to cancer I can assure you, he was not thinking about your drunken rambling....absolutely the last thing on his mind. So you can make it the last thing on yours too. Beating yourself up makes no sense. Say a prayer for him, light a candle, let it go. He's not suffering now. And you don't have to either, unless you choose to. But that is separate from his death....100%.
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Originally Posted by 16YearsDrunk
Lost my Dad January 2017 to cancer then my stepdad January 2018 to cancer. Had cancer myself too. I chose to drink which reactivated my alcoholism and it became very difficult to escape because alcohol was my crutch.
I'm sorry for you loss. It does get easier and don't be afraid to speak to your doctor or councillor.
I'm sorry for you loss. It does get easier and don't be afraid to speak to your doctor or councillor.
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