Mango212

I've been feeling rejected for years.

My husband is an alcoholic. He addiction and drug of choice is alcohol.

I have been rejected by my husband and it intensely hurts!

This has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with being human and allowing myself to feel these emotions.

Mango212

Quack:

The alcoholic saying he's been rejected by me. I simply value myself too much now to accept emotional and verbal abuse.

Mango212

"Feeling rejected is a normal part of grieving and letting go after a marriage ends."

It helps to know this is a normal part of the healing process. Although I'm legally married, addiction/alcoholism ended our marriage a long time ago. The partnership dissolved as alcohol became my husband's life-partner.

I like this article. It puts things into perspective:


4 Ways to Deal with Rejection


1. Don’t take it too personally.

I used to take things way too personally back in the day. Every form of rejection — even as little as hearing “no” to an offer I make, or not being greeted by someone I’ve met before — would make me feel bad about myself. Each such situation from daily life made me lower my confidence. I was overthinking it, trying to guess why this person didn’t like me.

Until it struck me: It had little to do with me, really.

We have the tendency to play scenarios in our heads that have nothing to do with reality. When it comes to analyzing other people’s behavior and thoughts, we can never get it right. That realization made me a bit more courageous and I even asked a few of the people who rejected me in some way about it. They said they never even realized it was a form of rejection, nor were they disliking me.

Life became much easier once I stopped taking things personally. Now I know that everyone has a lot going on in their lives, and that they might just be having a bad day if they don’t pay any attention to me or reject an offer I make.

You should do the same.

2. Take the lesson.

Every single thing in life can become a valuable lesson if we are open to new knowledge and experience. Let’s take this approach to rejection too and feel better after it by learning something and performing better next time.

If your feelings for someone you like were hurt, try to understand why. There must be something you didn’t do right, or maybe you expected too much from this person. By reflecting on this, you might realize that you often fall for the wrong people, and should do something about it. If you do that every time you get rejected, you’ll improve in every area in life. Your communication skills will be optimized, and you’ll know how to react to different people.

That will help you develop the mindset of a lifelong learner. As a result, you’ll never consider anything a failure, but an opportunity to grow and be better prepared next time. People will begin noticing that nothing brings you down anymore, and you’re excited to try new things and learn from each. That deserves respect.

3. Practice acceptance.

One of the most powerful things to learn how to do in life is accepting. Sometimes there just isn’t anything we can do simply because outer factors caused the outcome. We can’t really keep blaming others for rejecting us, or ourselves for not being convincing enough.

It is what it is, but it’s also what’s right. Have faith in the natural flow of events. Be in peace with reality. Don’t try to change things, don’t expect too much from others or yourself, don’t try to predict the future.

Be mindful. You’ll appreciate and enjoy life more.

Acceptance helps you to let go of the negative emotions that follow rejection, and you free your mind and heart and make room for something better.

4. Do something else.

Take your mind off this. A good way is to just forget about it by meeting new people, spending time with friends, or spoiling yourself. Why not set a new goal and work on it until you see results? Action breeds more action, and soon you’ll have forgotten about how you felt and will be focused on how confident you’re becoming.

Overthinking rejection, when there’s nothing you can do about it, is a harmful behavior. It makes you feel even worse, and you’re literally reliving the situation. Don’t let that happen. Your mind is a sanctuary, so you should only let peaceful and positive thoughts in it.

Over to you now.

After all that you’ve been through in life, and successfully recovering from the difficulties, don't let rejection be a barrier to living better.

Seren

Yes, rejection is one of the most painful things, right? I think at some point, we all have run across a situation that makes us feel rejected and "less than".

Thank you, Mango!

Leelee168

Thanks, Mango, I needed to read this. The past few days have been difficult. My ex and his side piece are now Facebook official “in a relationship!” She also posted a picture of the happy couple; she’s looking right at the camera and his eyes won’t focus and are literally in two different directions, he has brown patches of skin around his mouth, a fat lip, he’s broken out with acne and red-faced, and he’s gained wrinkles and lost hair in the past two months (since I last saw him at court). I feel like I’m going to read his name in the newspaper one of these days. Sad, really.

hopeful4

I LOVE HEARING YOU SAY THIS!!!! Self value is so important, and so many of us lack it. Way to go!!

ScaryTime

Yes! This helped me too. Why do we put ourselves second, third, fourth and is so hard to put Bali and respect in our own selves? Doesn’t make sense.