Setting my boundaries

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11-10-2004, 07:38 PM

# 1 (permalink)

JessicaNAJ

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Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: Where the sun always shines!

Posts: 1,625

Setting my boundaries

I had to share this with you...

My step-sister and her four kids (all grown) live next door to me. I'm one of those people who always feel the need to offer help even when I don't want to.

Anyway, she got served with an eviction yesterday and they had to be out by midnight. Guess what I did....absolutely nothing!! Her daughter called and told me about it and I just said, "That sucks, what are you going to do?"

They were up moving till 3:00 a.m. I was in bed, all cozy and warm. I'm not totally heartless, though. I did tell them to let me know if they needed anything. They were having trouble finding a truck, my dad suggested I offer to let them store some of their things in my basement. THAT was NOT something I wanted to offer because then what she didn't come back and get, I'd have to take care of getting rid of it. I told him that if it was a last resort I'd let them, but I wasn't going to offer.

Tonight, I made myself an appointment to watch a show that came on at 8:00. I set a reminder on my phone so I wouldn't forget it was on...lol At 7:30 my reminder went off. At the time I had about 5 people in my house. My girlfriend from across the street and her daughter, my step sister, two of her kids, and my dad. When my reminder went off I simply told them, "hey guys, I'm going to watch this show at 8:00." They all left

(except my girlfriend, but I just showed more interest in the TV than her and she eventually got the point).

I'm working on it....

Thanks for letting me share.

11-10-2004, 07:51 PM

# 2 (permalink)

gelfling

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Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: Back in my head

Posts: 1,194

Dear Jessica,

Good for you!!!!!!!!!

Hugs, Kathy

11-10-2004, 07:52 PM

# 3 (permalink)

CrazyRed

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Join Date: Jul 2004

Location: Javatown

Posts: 92

That sounds great! Way to think ahead about the OPP storage use in your house. Excellent about the TV program personal time. Keep it up. Your positive words have inspired me.

Right on!!!!

11-10-2004, 08:06 PM

# 4 (permalink)

JessicaNAJ

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Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: Where the sun always shines!

Posts: 1,625

I've come to this conclusion -

Since I have no time (really) to myself I HAVE to restore order in my house.

I was watching Nanny 911 tonight (came on at 9:00). One point that was made was you have to be consistent with disciplining your kids (my 3 year old is a handful). I always have too much going on to be consistent. My daughter is a sweetheart, beautiful little girl, but man does she know how to get her way and I'm always so tired from dealing with everything else, i just cave. SOOOO - I have to get my house back, adjust my time, and reset my boundaries so I can have time to be consistent with her. If that means no one wants to stop over and see me, so be it....my house is not a getaway for others, it should be a getaway for ME!!