Notices

What about happiness

Old 07-15-2018, 03:04 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 268
What about happiness

I've been messed up so long I've forgotten what it's like to be happy. It's motivation to pull through, to feel real happiness again
Laura3 is offline  
Old 07-15-2018, 03:17 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
MissPerfumado's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I've seen plenty of pink cloud stories here, i.e. folks who were super happy in early sobriety after the first withdrawal stage passed. I had a pink cloud too and it stayed around for about 4-6 months. It was a stage of relief at being able to take charge of (not control, but responsibly manage) my life.

I levelled out after the first 6 months and at the one year stage things were a little more true, a little less "rainbows and unicorns". But I was still baseline happy compared to my drinking years. Like a true deep inner happiness, not a covering over of unhappiness.

Some folks don't have the pink cloud, but they seem a lot more settled than when addicted.

Either way, it will take some time for your body to adjust - remember that drink and drugs affects the biochemistry of the body profoundly, and it can take months to readjust your moods.

I feel sure you will feel real happiness again if you stay sober, Laura.
MissPerfumado is offline  
Old 07-15-2018, 03:21 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 268
Originally Posted by MissPerfumado View Post
I've seen plenty of pink cloud stories here, i.e. folks who were super happy in early sobriety after the first withdrawal stage passed. I had a pink cloud too and it stayed around for about 4-6 months. It was a stage of relief at being able to take charge of (not control, but responsibly manage) my life.

I levelled out after the first 6 months and at the one year stage things were a little more true, a little less "rainbows and unicorns". But I was still baseline happy compared to my drinking years. Like a true deep inner happiness, not a covering over of unhappiness.

Some folks don't have the pink cloud, but they seem a lot more settled than when addicted.

Either way, it will take some time for your body to adjust - remember that drink and drugs affects the biochemistry of the body profoundly, and it can take months to readjust your moods.

I feel sure you will feel real happiness again if you stay sober, Laura.
Thanks, I hope so
Laura3 is offline  
Old 07-15-2018, 03:43 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
ScottFromWI's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Being "happy" is a very relative term too. Sometimes we have visions of getting sober as all rainbows and unicorns and that our lives will magically transform overnight. Unfortunately life itself has it's ups and downs, so some days we just don't feel happy no matter what we do. Having said that, as you get some sober time under your belt you have a much better chance of dealing with all the things that you will confront, good or bad.

And as others have mentioned, it simply takes time for your body and mind to heal from the abuse of using/drinking. As addicts we tend to seek instant gratification, but that's what got us into trouble in the first place.
ScottFromWI is offline  
Old 07-15-2018, 03:43 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Waking up without a hangover, shame, and regret is a great start!
Forward12 is offline  
Old 07-15-2018, 05:21 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
No Dogma Please
 
MindfulMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
I am far happier sober than drinking and drugging.

To me the pink cloud was like another drug, another high. It felt artificial. It kinda was. Afterwards I crashed hard just like a drug. A few weeks of depression.

I rode it out. Just didn't do much. I've lived through enough mood swings in my life to realize that they're temporary.

What followed is a whole other state of being. Quiet contentment. Subtle confidence. A belief in myself and healthy self love.

I wouldn't trade this for a drink. No freaking way.
MindfulMan is offline  
Old 07-16-2018, 02:59 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by MindfulMan View Post
I am far happier sober than drinking and drugging.

To me the pink cloud was like another drug, another high. It felt artificial. It kinda was. Afterwards I crashed hard just like a drug. A few weeks of depression.

I rode it out. Just didn't do much. I've lived through enough mood swings in my life to realize that they're temporary.

What followed is a whole other state of being. Quiet contentment. Subtle confidence. A belief in myself and healthy self love.

I wouldn't trade this for a drink. No freaking way.
This is how it was for me too. I went through a few funks in my first year and same thing, I rode them out, and they passed. I had been drinking and drugging for a long time, it took awhile to heal and to even out. I went into it expecting some bouts of anhedonia though through learning from past attempts at quitting.

I'm at about 17 months now and I feel great. My second year has been much better. Not every day is amazing, life is life, but my life is better in every way that matters.

I had the insight the other day that as a drinker I invested in the wrong things. As my new path unfolds I have these moments of clarity where I can see mistakes I made and now I have a second chance to make different choices and investments into more rewarding and fulfilling endeavors. I definitely have different values as a teetotaler. Living that party lifestyle, it's hard to always see the big picture or to maintain a certain trajectory when life was so chaotic. Having inner calm and the ability to stay the course and have clear vision is just another gift of sobriety.

I wouldn't trade this for a drink either! I'm never going back to that crap.
Wholesome is offline  
Old 07-16-2018, 03:27 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
Nonsensical's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
The wonderfullest surprise of sobriety was discovering everything I needed to be happy was in my head all along. I didn't know it, and I didn't know how to access it, but it was there.

My drinking brought pleasure, but not happiness. In fact, drinking made me lazy about finding happiness. It wasn't until I committed to not drinking that I was able to uncover my happiness.

That's my Journey. Best of Luck on Yours!

and if wonderfullest isn't a real word, it should be!
Nonsensical is offline  
Old 07-16-2018, 06:31 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Being grateful is an excellent way for me to be happy- even "happy, joyous and free" as AA describes as possible. My goal is not happiness, as others have said as it is relative and not reliable. Living in acceptance of reality and seeking contentment generally create a frequent state of happiness, if I choose to be happy.
August252015 is offline  
Old 07-16-2018, 07:03 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 2,389
Getting recovered = experiencing real happiness very regularly. This is my experience.

Read the book Alcoholics Anonymous and keep an open mind. It works; use whatever else you need in your recovery as well. The more the merrier in my experience.
brighterday1234 is offline  
Old 07-16-2018, 08:22 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 648
Others have said most of it well.

I'll just add -

I'm learning that in a lot of cases my feelings of 'happiness' or 'unhappiness' is a matter of expectations and fulfillment. I don't believe the point of life is to be 'happy' all the time. For me, it's about something more and different. It's about fulfillment and self-actualization.

In fact, a lot of things worth doing in my life have required me to be 'unhappy' at times. But they were still worth doing.

I know I may seem to be splitting hairs here, but I do think it's important. I have grown quite wary of chasing altruistic 'unicorn and rainbow' concepts that are almost completely abstract and not somehow related to something I can work toward or easily point to and identify. Something concrete.

In fact, chasing cliche's is has something to do with my own issues with booze. A huge part of my sobriety so far has been staying real with things. I find when I drift I get very deeply dissatisfied.

Allll that said... it's also about addition by subtraction. Overall I am happier simply because I'm not destroying some aspect of my life on a routine basis. Though that doesn't always translate to me skipping around with cartoon birds sitting on my shoulder.

B

PS - Consider this sort of analogy - I've eaten candy. It made me happy. But it also led to a cavity, which hurt. I've been to a dentist. He hurt me. But I felt a lot better after.

Happiness is like a lot of things, it's relative and it also depends on what we do and finding the balance between gratification in the moment and what we're willing to work for and work through....
Buckley3 is offline  
Old 07-16-2018, 08:26 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 648
Originally Posted by Nonsensical View Post
The wonderfullest surprise of sobriety was discovering everything I needed to be happy was in my head all along. I didn't know it, and I didn't know how to access it, but it was there.

and if wonderfullest isn't a real word, it should be!
This. So this.
Buckley3 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:07 AM.