andyh

I came across this link recently & think that it captures the essence of REBT really nicely - well worth five minutes of your time to read:

What is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)? - REBT Network: Albert Ellis | Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy

What is REBT?

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) is a form of psychotherapy and a philosophy of living created by Albert Ellis in the 1950's.

REBT (pronounced R.E.B.T. — it is not pronounced rebbit) is based on the premise that whenever we become upset, it is not the events taking place in our lives that upset us; it is the beliefs that we hold that cause us to become depressed, anxious, enraged, etc. The idea that our beliefs upset us was first articulated by Epictetus around 2,000 years ago: "Men are disturbed not by events, but by the views which they take of them."

The Goal of Happiness:

According to Albert Ellis and to REBT, the vast majority of us want to be happy. We want to be happy whether we are alone or with others; we want to get along with others—especially with one or two close friends; we want to be well informed and educated; we want a good job with good pay; and we want to enjoy our leisure time.

Of course life doesn't always allow us to have what we want; our goal of being happy is often thwarted by the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." When our goals are blocked, we can respond in ways that are healthy and helpful, or we can react in ways that are unhealthy and unhelpful.

The ABC Model:

Albert Ellis and REBT posit that our reaction to having our goals blocked (or even the possibility of having them blocked) is determined by our beliefs. To illustrate this, Dr. Ellis developed a simple ABC format to teach people how their beliefs cause their emotional and behavioral responses:
For example:
If you had held a different belief, your emotional response would have been different:
The ABC model shows that A does not cause C. It is B that causes C. In the first example, it is not your employer's false accusation and threat that make you angry; it is your belief that she has no right to accuse you, and that she is a bitch. In the second example, it is not her accusation and threat that make you anxious; it is the belief that you must not lose your job, and that losing your job would be unbearable.

The Three Basic Musts:

Although we all express ourselves differently, according to Albert Ellis and REBT, the beliefs that upset us are all variations of three common irrational beliefs. Each of the three common irrational beliefs contains a demand, either about ourselves, other people, or the world in general. These beliefs are known as "The Three Basic Musts."
The first belief often leads to anxiety, depression, shame, and guilt. The second belief often leads to rage, passive-aggression and acts of violence. The third belief often leads to self-pity and procrastination. It is the demanding nature of the beliefs that causes the problem. Less demanding, more flexible beliefs lead to healthy emotions and helpful behaviors.

Disputing:

The goal of REBT is to help people change their irrational beliefs into rational beliefs. Changing beliefs is the real work of therapy and is achieved by the therapist disputing the client's irrational beliefs. For example, the therapist might ask, "Why must you win everyone's approval?" "Where is it written that other people must treat you fairly?" "Just because you want something, why must you have it?" Disputing is the D of the ABC model. When the client tries to answer the therapist's questions, s/he sees that there is no reason why s/he absolutely must have approval, fair treatment, or anything else that s/he wants.

Insight:

Albert Ellis and REBT contend that although we all think irrationally from time to time, we can work at eliminating the tendency. It's unlikely that we can ever entirely eliminate the tendency to think irrationally, but we can reduce the frequency, the duration, and the intensity of our irrational beliefs by developing three insights:
Acceptance:

Emotionally healthy human beings develop an acceptance of reality, even when reality is highly unfortunate and unpleasant. REBT therapists strive to help their clients develop three types of acceptance: (1) unconditional self-acceptance; (2) unconditional other-acceptance; and (3) unconditional life-acceptance. Each of these types of acceptance is based on three core beliefs:

Unconditional self-acceptance:
Unconditional other-acceptance:
Unconditional life-acceptance:
REBT Today:

Clinical experience and a growing supply of experimental evidence show that REBT is effective and efficient at reducing emotional pain. When Albert Ellis created REBT in the 1950's he met with much resistance from others in the mental health field. Today it is one of the most widely-practiced therapies throughout the world. In the early days of REBT, even Dr. Ellis did not clearly see that consistent use of its philosophical system would have such a profound effect on the field of psychotherapy or on the lives of the millions of people who have benefited from it.

Wholesome

Challenging my beliefs was huge to my recovery. Our beliefs shape our perceptions of the world. People can believe some things so deeply that they are prepared to die for them, or in the case of addiction, die because of their beliefs. Like I believed that I couldn't just quit. I believed that I had to fix all these external or internal factors and then once everything was just right, I would magically be better. But at the same time I believed I was incapable of changing. Now I believe that they only way to quit is to quit and that it will be as hard as we make it for ourselves, based on our beliefs. If one believes it will be hard and a daily struggle and a deprivation, then that's what it will be. If one believes it will be easy and that it is the better path and embraces it as a gift, then that's how it will be. It's all in the mind and the stories we tell ourselves to relate to the world and our experiences. It's very easy to get caught in negative thought cycles, it can become like an addiction itself. Sometimes I have to catch myself and actively turn my thoughts around.

Memory is interesting too. I can look back a past experience and learn whole new lessons from it just by shifting my perceptions of my recollection.

Reminds me of this quote by Mark Twain,

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

andyh

thank BJ1. I like the quote, it's a favourite of mine too.

dwtbd

Now one of mine and I'm going to use it like I knew it all along , he had quite the way about him

MindfulMan

REBT has a lot in common with CBT, which was the basis for my IOP. While not expressly doing so, I think my current therapist and I are working on the acceptance piece which goes beyond CBT.

These techniques went far beyond getting and keeping me sober, they have greatly enriched my life, but I think they were the most powerful piece in my sober journey.

AlericB

I guess we'd all agree that losing our job would be an unpleasant experience. But we don't have to take it a step further and let it colour how we see our entire life. REBT seems a good way to see any underlying beliefs we may be holding that would do this and so we can still enjoy other things in our lives even if we lose our job.

The logic above is similar to saying "I just gave a terrible presentation. Therefore I'm a bad presenter." Both make a judgement based on a particular experience and ignore any evidence that points the other way such as that you have previously given good presentations or that you have been out of a job before and got through it OK.

Saying "If I lost my job I will be anxious" is logically the same as saying "Either I will not lose my job or I will be anxious". It's black and white thinking which rules out the entirely reasonable possibility that you can lose your job, and although that would be unpleasant, you could still enjoy your family and friends and hobbies etc. We need grey thinking if there is such a thing

andyh

as it so happens, "black & white" (or "polarized") thinking is one of a number of "cognitive distortions" identified in CBT.

AlericB

I wonder if it stems from the fight or flight response where if someone comes running towards you wishing to see the colour of your insides you don't stand around thinking "Oh I can't decide what to do" - you very quickly decide to either stay and fight or run as fast as you can!

andyh

could well be. there's clearly an evolutionary advantage in not vacillating & in making a binary decision in the moment when we feel threatened. what has evolved less well is not re-evaluating the decision once the immediate perceived threat - usually something less serious than being eaten by a tiger - has passed.

the A-B-C tool encourages us to examine the basis of our response, either before we respond if we're able to catch it, or to circle back afterwards if not. with practice & repetition it can be possible to recondition our unhelpful responses, even those we might consider to be intrinsic to ourselves.

kevlarsjal2

This is a very helpful article, I haven't heard about REBT before. Thanks for sharing

zerothehero

There are elements of REBT and CBT in SMART Recovery. Meetings are free if you can find one nearby. They call themselves a science-based and evidence-based program. DBT includes REBT and CBT concepts, as well as mindfulness and acceptance practices. DBT skills groups can be really helpful...