nonnie

Don't know where to start so I will just post here a new thread. My 29 year old daughter is in a 2 year rehab facility and very determined to succeed! I am very proud of her. BUT......recently there have been issues with the facility and there treatment to residents. All of a sudden they were kicking her out! But luckily ended up getting a transfer to another one of their facilities. She was in tears because she DOES want to complete the program. Now in the new location, she is ready to walk, she says it is NOTHING like the last location. The staff memeber that did this to her, I refer to as the WITCH, I have also found specific blogs and reviews on this witch, all true to what my daughter experienced. I'm feeling lost cause I don't know what to do now or how to help my daughter. Do I get her the hell out of there and pray she can do this on her own? Do I report this witch? Do I call someone to see how to fix things? I'm so confused!

biminiblue

She's 29 and she's going to have to sort this out on her own, don't you think that's best?

You're only getting one side of this, and respectfully we addicts/alcoholics tend to exaggerate and play the victim. You really don't know exactly what is happening. She should report it if she has a case. It's her issue.

I'm not saying you're necessarily wrong; maybe the staff member is out of line - but they don't have her locked up against her will and at some point she's going to need to make her own big-girl decisions and face her own adult consequences.

The sooner the better at 29, yeah?

entropy1964

I have been to rehab more than once. There are always good people, indifferent people, and usually a bad apple or three. There is very little regulation over rehab facilities and who they employ so it can be a sketchy industry for sure.

Speaking from personal experience, there is nothing worse than a group of addicts in rehab in various stages of detox. To say its a bit of a 3 ring circus is putting it mildly. Something about being boxed up for 28 days (the average rehab stay) makes everyone behave like 2 year olds....and I've been there myself I'm sad to say. One of the major lessons I had to learn as an addict is that I own my own crap. There are 2 sides to everything and there is no better place to practice accountability and acceptance than rehab. For rehab to be even a bit effective the addict has to surrender to the process, do things they don't want to do, tolerate a whole bunch of people they don't know, listen, do what they are told, and be patient. None of these things are easy for most people, let alone a bunch of addicts.

You daughter is agreeing to a 2 year program. That is huge. There must be a major reason she is there for that long. She has already been kicked out of one. The term 'kicked out' is pretty vague....rehabs don't just oust people for no reason. And now she's struggling with the second place.

I would challenge her to be honest with herself. I would challenge her to behave in ways she never has before....to grow up maybe? Obviously I have no idea what is really going on, but like Bimini said, she needs to handle this on her own. Its an opportunity for her to practice adulting.

I know its hard as her Mom, but sometimes we can love our kids so much that we keep them sick. We want our kids to be independent adults, not dependent children.

nonnie

Thank you all. It's so hard as the mom. This the farthest she has come, she made the rehab decision on her own. So PROUD! And with her doing SO WELL with it, it just really aggravates me that she was wronged by a staff member. And I do believe this. This staff person is known for this. That is why another staff stepped in to help so she wasn't just asked to leave out the door. But you are all correct. She is an adult. If she needs to make a change, or request a transfer, or whatever it is, then SHE needs to take the steps! Mom will just sit here (in tears) and be supportive.

biminiblue

((nonnie))