Trying to ride it out right now
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Trying to ride it out right now
Sitting here on Day 5 with an intense urge to drink. I’m realizing I’m worse than I even thought I was and. I need help. I’ve been trying the urge surfing that I found on this site and it does help some.
Yesterday, I was feeling really good. Got my daughter to soccer, had a good workout myself, went to a women’s AA meeting( still really really awkward, everyone is so nice but I’m naturally introverted so sharing my feelings seems so impossible to me).
Then last night, I went with a friend to a dinner organized by some women I hadn’t met before. Everyone was drinking wine. The hostess asked me Red or white? As soon as she met me. I said water would be great! and didn’t drink any wine at all the entire evening, although it was offered to me several times. They even toasted and I was the only water glass. Honestly, it was pretty mortifying but when I got home I was elated... feeling like I CAN DO THIS.
Today, went to gym and now kids aren’t home and all I want to do is run to the store and get a bottle and drink it. I feel like I’m going crazy.
It’s like deciding I’m done has made me want to drink 10X more. I don’t want to numb my feelings anymore, I want to grow up and feel like a real person and have real relationships. That is my goal.
Yesterday, I was feeling really good. Got my daughter to soccer, had a good workout myself, went to a women’s AA meeting( still really really awkward, everyone is so nice but I’m naturally introverted so sharing my feelings seems so impossible to me).
Then last night, I went with a friend to a dinner organized by some women I hadn’t met before. Everyone was drinking wine. The hostess asked me Red or white? As soon as she met me. I said water would be great! and didn’t drink any wine at all the entire evening, although it was offered to me several times. They even toasted and I was the only water glass. Honestly, it was pretty mortifying but when I got home I was elated... feeling like I CAN DO THIS.
Today, went to gym and now kids aren’t home and all I want to do is run to the store and get a bottle and drink it. I feel like I’m going crazy.
It’s like deciding I’m done has made me want to drink 10X more. I don’t want to numb my feelings anymore, I want to grow up and feel like a real person and have real relationships. That is my goal.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 58
Congrats on five days. Same thoughtpattern happened to me when I decided enough is enough a while back but in my case my drinking escalated.
Stay on track. You're doing great Do it one day at a time and things will eventually get better. You are strong enough, and there is always someone to reach out to here.
Stay on track. You're doing great Do it one day at a time and things will eventually get better. You are strong enough, and there is always someone to reach out to here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 70
Great job posting here! I did the same thing a couple weeks ago by inviting someone over to drink and felt relieved afterwards because I wasn't urged to drink.
I woke up the next morning without a hangover and felt exactly like you did...I COULD DO THIS! I began going to more meetings, both AA and SMART, surrounding myself with people who also want to be sober, and began developing new healthy habits that didn't involve drinking or going to the bar.
Best wishes.
I woke up the next morning without a hangover and felt exactly like you did...I COULD DO THIS! I began going to more meetings, both AA and SMART, surrounding myself with people who also want to be sober, and began developing new healthy habits that didn't involve drinking or going to the bar.
Best wishes.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
Those intense cravings to drink are not uncommon. Your AV is trying to get you to satisfy "its wants". Get a nice glass of juice or tea. Treat yourself to some ice cream and watch some tv. It will pass. Tomorrow when you wake up sober and sign in for 24 more sober hours you will be smiling!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by lessgravity 
Nice job posting here before you drank.
Stay sober any way you can. No one regrets not drinking the night before the next morning.
Stay sober any way you can. No one regrets not drinking the night before the next morning.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Trelkovsky
Congrats on five days. Same thoughtpattern happened to me when I decided enough is enough a while back but in my case my drinking escalated.
Stay on track. You're doing great Do it one day at a time and things will eventually get better. You are strong enough, and there is always someone to reach out to here.
Stay on track. You're doing great Do it one day at a time and things will eventually get better. You are strong enough, and there is always someone to reach out to here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by rich27
Great job posting here! I did the same thing a couple weeks ago by inviting someone over to drink and felt relieved afterwards because I wasn't urged to drink.
I woke up the next morning without a hangover and felt exactly like you did...I COULD DO THIS! I began going to more meetings, both AA and SMART, surrounding myself with people who also want to be sober, and began developing new healthy habits that didn't involve drinking or going to the bar.
Best wishes.
I woke up the next morning without a hangover and felt exactly like you did...I COULD DO THIS! I began going to more meetings, both AA and SMART, surrounding myself with people who also want to be sober, and began developing new healthy habits that didn't involve drinking or going to the bar.
Best wishes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by eyes99
Put on your janmies and call this day a wrap. Nothing wrong with going to bed early. Settle in with a movie or whatever you need to do to call it a day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by ChloeRose63
Those intense cravings to drink are not uncommon. Your AV is trying to get you to satisfy "its wants". Get a nice glass of juice or tea. Treat yourself to some ice cream and watch some tv. It will pass. Tomorrow when you wake up sober and sign in for 24 more sober hours you will be smiling!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 70
Originally Posted by Isabel8
It sounds like you are doing great. I’m trying to get myself to speak up at meetings, but it’s a struggle. I just want to listen right now but I’ve been called on, and all I can manage to say is that I want to quit drinking.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
Originally Posted by Isabel8
Yes, you’re right. It’s already not quite as bad and posting and replying has distracted me some too. I don’t want to have to start over AGAIN. Thank you.
There will be a time when you will feel the freedom from alcohol and really begin to experience how wonderful each day can be! Keep that in your heart and mind. Some of the difficult days that we have are preparing us to become better, wiser and stronger against our addictions. Together we are strong!
Have a wonderful evening! ♡CR
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Isabel - yeah I'd often get through a trying situation sober...and THEN the urge to srink would start on me.
You don;t have to give in - the urge will, and does pass
Support helps- so use SR as much as you can.
Check out the Class of July support thread maybe?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-1-a-9.html (Class of July 2018 Part 1)
D
You don;t have to give in - the urge will, and does pass
Support helps- so use SR as much as you can.
Check out the Class of July support thread maybe?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...art-1-a-9.html (Class of July 2018 Part 1)
D
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
For the last couple of days I've been binging on mindless Netflix and coloring - you know, in an adult coloring book. (Not that kind of adult ) Keeping busy with this sort of drowns out everything else. You might want to try it.
Five days is GREAT. Keep going with it - all you have to think about is "now." You are not drinking now, right? Stick with that - no thoughts of what happens drinking-wise after "now." It's a relief to let go of that tug-of-war in the brain.
O
) Keeping busy with this sort of drowns out everything else. You might want to try it.Five days is GREAT. Keep going with it - all you have to think about is "now." You are not drinking now, right? Stick with that - no thoughts of what happens drinking-wise after "now."
It's a relief to let go of that tug-of-war in the brain.O
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi Isabel - yeah I'd often get through a trying situation sober...and THEN the urge to srink would start on me.
You don;t have to give in - the urge will, and does pass
Support helps- so use SR as much as you can.
Check out the Class of July support thread maybe?
D
You don;t have to give in - the urge will, and does pass
Support helps- so use SR as much as you can.
Check out the Class of July support thread maybe?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Obladi
For the last couple of days I've been binging on mindless Netflix and coloring - you know, in an adult coloring book. (Not that kind of adult ) Keeping busy with this sort of drowns out everything else. You might want to try it.
Five days is GREAT. Keep going with it - all you have to think about is "now." You are not drinking now, right? Stick with that - no thoughts of what happens drinking-wise after "now." It's a relief to let go of that tug-of-war in the brain.
O
) Keeping busy with this sort of drowns out everything else. You might want to try it.Five days is GREAT. Keep going with it - all you have to think about is "now." You are not drinking now, right? Stick with that - no thoughts of what happens drinking-wise after "now."
It's a relief to let go of that tug-of-war in the brain.O
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
The one thing I did in early sobriety that really strengthened me was to practice gratitude. Every day find at least one thing to be grateful for. And if it's a person you're grateful for - tell them so. Gratitude really helps me and makes me happier too.
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
Every day find at least one thing to be grateful for. And if it's a person you're grateful for - tell them so. Gratitude really helps me and makes me happier too.https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0
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