Glamorization of drinking in pop culture
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Glamorization of drinking in pop culture
I just saw yet another "cute" post on social media celebrating drinking.. it was the picture of a sign saying "Alcohol may not solve all your problems... but neither will water." Ha ha. Ugh. I HATE that kind of thing now. It's insidiously damaging and so not funny to me.
Reminds me yet again about all the drinking memes, especially related to moms drinking. One article in particular seemed to catch the danger and ridiculousness of it all... I think it's a good prompt for all of us to be on guard about the danger in these messages... and at least not support them, even if you don't call people out on them.
I don't think I can link the article, but here are a couple highlights
Reminds me yet again about all the drinking memes, especially related to moms drinking. One article in particular seemed to catch the danger and ridiculousness of it all... I think it's a good prompt for all of us to be on guard about the danger in these messages... and at least not support them, even if you don't call people out on them.
I don't think I can link the article, but here are a couple highlights
This Joke We Make About Wine-Drinking Moms Is Actually Really Screwed Up
By Megan Zander
July 11 2017
"Mommy Juicebox." "Wine not Whine." "It's Wine o'clock." Jokes about moms and drinking are a huge part of parenting culture. In fact, the idea that moms need a glass of wine after the kids go to bed in order to cope with the stress of parenting is so common and pervasive that most of us don't really think about how screwed up the "mommy needs a drink" joke actually is.
The "mommy loves her wine" message is ubiquitous: it can be found on shirts, wall decor and of course on wine glasses. And some moms can and do have the occasional or even nightly glass of wine without issue. But for others, that one glass can turn into two, which can turn into a whole bottle. And for women who are struggling with alcohol addiction, the culture-wide joke that they should drink as soon as the kids go to bed isn't funny, it's downright cruel.
Even if we're going to ignore the fact that parents are expected to shoulder way too much responsibility, drinking isn't the only way to deal with stress. Where are the "Mommy Needs To Go For A Run" mugs? Or the "It's Meditation O'clock" shirts?" Why have we decided that the funniest way to cope with our parenting problems lies in the bottom of a wine glass? No one's ever suggested I try bullet journaling to handle keeping track of all of my boys' appointments and activities, but "you deserve an extra glass tonight!" is something that's been posted by a well-meaning acquaintance more than once on social media .
We need to do better: for our kids, yes, but also for each other and for ourselves. As moms, we shouldn't allow ourselves to be in a position where our role is so hard that people joke the only way to survive it is by having a drink,
from romper.com
By Megan Zander
July 11 2017
"Mommy Juicebox." "Wine not Whine." "It's Wine o'clock." Jokes about moms and drinking are a huge part of parenting culture. In fact, the idea that moms need a glass of wine after the kids go to bed in order to cope with the stress of parenting is so common and pervasive that most of us don't really think about how screwed up the "mommy needs a drink" joke actually is.
The "mommy loves her wine" message is ubiquitous: it can be found on shirts, wall decor and of course on wine glasses. And some moms can and do have the occasional or even nightly glass of wine without issue. But for others, that one glass can turn into two, which can turn into a whole bottle. And for women who are struggling with alcohol addiction, the culture-wide joke that they should drink as soon as the kids go to bed isn't funny, it's downright cruel.
Even if we're going to ignore the fact that parents are expected to shoulder way too much responsibility, drinking isn't the only way to deal with stress. Where are the "Mommy Needs To Go For A Run" mugs? Or the "It's Meditation O'clock" shirts?" Why have we decided that the funniest way to cope with our parenting problems lies in the bottom of a wine glass? No one's ever suggested I try bullet journaling to handle keeping track of all of my boys' appointments and activities, but "you deserve an extra glass tonight!" is something that's been posted by a well-meaning acquaintance more than once on social media .
We need to do better: for our kids, yes, but also for each other and for ourselves. As moms, we shouldn't allow ourselves to be in a position where our role is so hard that people joke the only way to survive it is by having a drink,
from romper.com
Last edited by Dee74; 07-10-2018 at 04:51 PM.
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I bet there is a market for the "Meditation o'clock" or "Mommy Needs To Go For A Run" tee shirt or mugs.
Make it so, tealily. I'm on another forum where those would be a hit! So many people into 5Ks, Tough Mudders, marathons, Color Runs, and Crossfit.
I bet you could start a new business on that idea.
Make it so, tealily. I'm on another forum where those would be a hit! So many people into 5Ks, Tough Mudders, marathons, Color Runs, and Crossfit.
I bet you could start a new business on that idea.
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Preach it! As a new mom who struggles to be sober, the mommy wine culture is damaging and frustrating. I know of a friend of a friend who never drank before the baby and is now being sent to rehab. It's appalling. I also never want to be told that the only way I can tolerate my child is by tranquilizing myself with chardonnay.
I watch a lot of TV (while nursing and while the kid is sleeping) and it's rare that the characters in any given tv show don't have some kind of a drink.
I have a coworker who says 'I don't drink alcohol' and my instinct was always to think 'what a square' not because he is, but because I've been conditioned to think that teetotalers are missing out. Now when he says it I just get jealous.
I watch a lot of TV (while nursing and while the kid is sleeping) and it's rare that the characters in any given tv show don't have some kind of a drink.
I have a coworker who says 'I don't drink alcohol' and my instinct was always to think 'what a square' not because he is, but because I've been conditioned to think that teetotalers are missing out. Now when he says it I just get jealous.
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Normies can drink like this, and can enjoy a glass of wine as part of adult time, relaxing, etc. without becoming addicts. I know normie moms that do exactly that.
It's up to us to manage our own sobriety in a world that drinks, sometimes excessively, sometimes normally.
Meditation and yoga are not relaxation for everyone. For those that aren't addicts, more power to 'em if they want a glass of wine after the kids are in bed.
I have never been a parent, but I can imagine there is hardly anything, IF anything, more stressful that anyone will experience in their lifetimes...and unfortunately more of the stress falls on mom. If wine takes on the role of "mother's little helper," then it's a problem. If not, it isn't.
I give the "It's Wine O'Clock" pillows and coasters exactly zero influence over my life. I look on it as part of staying in my lane when I need to.
It's up to us to manage our own sobriety in a world that drinks, sometimes excessively, sometimes normally.
Meditation and yoga are not relaxation for everyone. For those that aren't addicts, more power to 'em if they want a glass of wine after the kids are in bed.
I have never been a parent, but I can imagine there is hardly anything, IF anything, more stressful that anyone will experience in their lifetimes...and unfortunately more of the stress falls on mom. If wine takes on the role of "mother's little helper," then it's a problem. If not, it isn't.
I give the "It's Wine O'Clock" pillows and coasters exactly zero influence over my life. I look on it as part of staying in my lane when I need to.
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While I agree because I am an alcoholic and had those thoughts of I need a drink to wind down from my stressful responsibility of motherhood and work.
Normal drinkers don't think like that, they have 1 glass and are done. They don't have the negative effects like myself.
While I may not agree with the marketing of alcohol, the business is not going anywhere. I do not have to support it or make a contribution to it. I can help those suffering from alcoholism.
I don't like how it is glamorized, but I also have a problem with alcohol, not the people actually enjoying themselves.
I do not like how life insurance is sold on the TV, I do not like how car insurance is sold on the TV, the list is endless of how I disagree with it, but I am the one with a problem with it.
I think Bimi has a great idea, make mugs and shirts! That is brilliant. Something healthy and fun
I did see a post on instagram:
"I feel bad for people who don't drink when they wake up that is the best they are going to feel"
That just really got me thinking. DAMN I feel good every day, hangover free, and all the negative emotions that came from the next day after drinking.
I took pride in myself after reading that and reflecting on how amazing my life is currently. If they choose to drink, that is on them not me.
Normal drinkers don't think like that, they have 1 glass and are done. They don't have the negative effects like myself.
While I may not agree with the marketing of alcohol, the business is not going anywhere. I do not have to support it or make a contribution to it. I can help those suffering from alcoholism.
I don't like how it is glamorized, but I also have a problem with alcohol, not the people actually enjoying themselves.
I do not like how life insurance is sold on the TV, I do not like how car insurance is sold on the TV, the list is endless of how I disagree with it, but I am the one with a problem with it.
I think Bimi has a great idea, make mugs and shirts! That is brilliant. Something healthy and fun
I did see a post on instagram:
"I feel bad for people who don't drink when they wake up that is the best they are going to feel"
That just really got me thinking. DAMN I feel good every day, hangover free, and all the negative emotions that came from the next day after drinking.
I took pride in myself after reading that and reflecting on how amazing my life is currently. If they choose to drink, that is on them not me.
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This is a very common subject here that sparks some pretty passionate opinions and can be divisive at times. I think there are many avenues for us ( those in recovery ) to share our message too. And there are several campaigns in "the media" that are anti-drug too.
Humans have always had an attraction to mind-altering substances, long before the "media" even existed. I think our efforts can be maximized by reaching out to those around us via forums like SR and leading by example in our daily lives.
Humans have always had an attraction to mind-altering substances, long before the "media" even existed. I think our efforts can be maximized by reaching out to those around us via forums like SR and leading by example in our daily lives.
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tea -
While I get where you are coming from and I too am frustrated by the prevalence and acceptance of booze in our culture(s). On the other hand I know so many people who do not abuse alcohol - my wife, friends, family - and for them happy hour or some mimosa's at a kid's birthday party are just ways to relax and let off some steam. In the end it's not helpful for me to impose my issues with alcohol on to their enjoyment of it. Truth is they just don't have problems, and if I drink even a sip do.
While I get where you are coming from and I too am frustrated by the prevalence and acceptance of booze in our culture(s). On the other hand I know so many people who do not abuse alcohol - my wife, friends, family - and for them happy hour or some mimosa's at a kid's birthday party are just ways to relax and let off some steam. In the end it's not helpful for me to impose my issues with alcohol on to their enjoyment of it. Truth is they just don't have problems, and if I drink even a sip do.
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People and their opinions, am I right ? I always liked Aristotle's descriptor 'the rational animal' , perhaps fitting opinion in would make it even better, lol.
I like the tshirt mug idea for positive memes and I also like Lip's idea of realizing how our own opinions are shaped by the culture around us, and especially how we can learn to be cognizant of that and change/accept 'better' opinions
I like the tshirt mug idea for positive memes and I also like Lip's idea of realizing how our own opinions are shaped by the culture around us, and especially how we can learn to be cognizant of that and change/accept 'better' opinions
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I don't notice it much anymore. At first, I would watch tv with dh and be like OMG, everyone drinks. Now I tend to watch with the kiddos, we don't have cable and they have nanny minders on all devices. (We change the passwords frequently) So the shows rarely have alcohol, maybe Fuller House did once.
I was grabbing lunch and looking through the gift shop attached to the restaurant, the cutesy little signs about wine o'clock etc., I was looking for something for my parents place. Not my taste anymore, not to have or give, so I went on by. The big joke at Christmas was no Grey Goose for the clients.
Just not a part of my life anymore. Kinda like Zombie culture, I never got into it, even though it was everywhere. Zombies are stupid, gimme a good ole Mike Myers any day for a fright! Or Duck Dynasty - I swear if I see one more city idiot in camo...
I was grabbing lunch and looking through the gift shop attached to the restaurant, the cutesy little signs about wine o'clock etc., I was looking for something for my parents place. Not my taste anymore, not to have or give, so I went on by. The big joke at Christmas was no Grey Goose for the clients.
Just not a part of my life anymore. Kinda like Zombie culture, I never got into it, even though it was everywhere. Zombies are stupid, gimme a good ole Mike Myers any day for a fright! Or Duck Dynasty - I swear if I see one more city idiot in camo...
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Different opinions! Sorry if I opened a touchy topic. (I seem to be straying into dangerous conversations lately!) I understand how some people may not be bothered by these. But after having gone through what I’ve gone through, it’s my personal preference to not like these memes.
Maybe I’m a killjoy! But I don’t express this out loud — except here. I didn’t scold my friend who posted the sign photo.. I kept quiet. Just came here to vent.
I do believe that some people — especially kids — get into trouble because they hear all around them that drinking in large quantities is OK.
I remember beer bongs in college and it concerns me now (as a mom of 3 college age kids) that young people may think shooting that much alcohol at once is normal and no problem.
Maybe I need to lighten up. But it’s still pretty raw.. only a year out from alcohol’s clutches.
Maybe I’m a killjoy! But I don’t express this out loud — except here. I didn’t scold my friend who posted the sign photo.. I kept quiet. Just came here to vent.
I do believe that some people — especially kids — get into trouble because they hear all around them that drinking in large quantities is OK.
I remember beer bongs in college and it concerns me now (as a mom of 3 college age kids) that young people may think shooting that much alcohol at once is normal and no problem.
Maybe I need to lighten up. But it’s still pretty raw.. only a year out from alcohol’s clutches.
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I for one didn't think any 'wrong' with your observation or the topic for conversation.
I hope you didn't take 'better' opinions to directed at the OP or topic , I meant different opinion and threw in the normative judgement, doubling down on the joke, lol.
I hope you didn't take 'better' opinions to directed at the OP or topic , I meant different opinion and threw in the normative judgement, doubling down on the joke, lol.
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I agree with those who say “live and let live”, but I too am bothered by the advertising identified in tealily’s post. Ironically, I was a mom with wine before the idea became part of the (social media?) mainstream. Now that my son is older, it makes me sad that I must contradict the many ways advertising works to make alcohol consumption a mandatory part of any “good time”. I want to make sure he understands the potential negative consequences so his choices can be educated, but it is an uphill battle against the advertised promise of instantly being smarter, better looking, more relaxed, etc.
Of course this beef extends to the advertising of many other things. My goal is to raise a well-rounded adult, theirs is to make a profit.
-bora
Of course this beef extends to the advertising of many other things. My goal is to raise a well-rounded adult, theirs is to make a profit.
-bora
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FWIW I agree with your frustration, tealily.
I just have bigger fish to fry and can't get all up in arms. I'm not even on facebook or any other social media other than here and a couple other well moderated forums. I just tune it out. I don't even have network TV (so no commercials) and I rarely look at any news stories or magazines nor eat at fancy restaurants very often - so it just isn't in my face, pretty much ever.
I just have bigger fish to fry and can't get all up in arms. I'm not even on facebook or any other social media other than here and a couple other well moderated forums. I just tune it out. I don't even have network TV (so no commercials) and I rarely look at any news stories or magazines nor eat at fancy restaurants very often - so it just isn't in my face, pretty much ever.
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I enjoy the discussion tea, so thanks for the post.
We could lament all day how the wrong things are advertised and encouraged in our culture - drinking, junk food, reality tv. I think being against these things and not just accepting them is valuable.
On the other hand I just know too many people who are socially responsible and very different from me. Feels puritanical to impose on them my feelings that are really from my issues of abuse.
We could lament all day how the wrong things are advertised and encouraged in our culture - drinking, junk food, reality tv. I think being against these things and not just accepting them is valuable.
On the other hand I just know too many people who are socially responsible and very different from me. Feels puritanical to impose on them my feelings that are really from my issues of abuse.
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i drank last night and have spent the day watching tv, and there is drinking going on all the time in most series. At least the ones ive watched today. the normies might not think about it. its just normal behaviour for most but we live in a culture obsessed with alcohol and other drugs. Its no way around it. Soon done with day one again. Ive been thinking about my triggers. Tv has never been a huge trigger for me personally but music and social media has and i need to remove those things from my life for good if i want to have a chance to stay sober. good thread.
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I also feel the frustration, but don't let it get to me.
The "mummy needs her wine" meme is a real thing with some younger women in my social circles who are newish mums. Mostly it's harmless, but I know a couple have alcoholism in their families and drank too much when single / childless, and when I see those posts pop up from them I do wonder.
What gets me is dangerous ignorance about the issue that I see in my own extended family. Alcoholism goes back a way on my dad's side. There are legendary stories of great-uncles and their drinking ways. My cousin loves her wine, G+Ts and cocktails. Last weekend, I saw posts from her allowing her underaged child to drink and celebrating it on social media, with amused comments from her own parents.
Ugh.
The "mummy needs her wine" meme is a real thing with some younger women in my social circles who are newish mums. Mostly it's harmless, but I know a couple have alcoholism in their families and drank too much when single / childless, and when I see those posts pop up from them I do wonder.
What gets me is dangerous ignorance about the issue that I see in my own extended family. Alcoholism goes back a way on my dad's side. There are legendary stories of great-uncles and their drinking ways. My cousin loves her wine, G+Ts and cocktails. Last weekend, I saw posts from her allowing her underaged child to drink and celebrating it on social media, with amused comments from her own parents.
Ugh.
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In my case it went from harmless drinks in front of family and friends, to hiding wine in the kitchen and gulping it when my teen-age kids went out of the room. Having them bust me on hiding a juice glass of wine under a living room chair when they came in the room, because I was ashamed of being caught drinking wine alone in front of the TV at like 1 a.m.
Funny thing is I never drank when they were babies and toddlers (when all the mummy needs her 'juice box' stuff is in full force). I NEVER would've dreamed I'd develop a problem in my 40s and 50s, after not being anything but a very casual drinker in my younger days. (Younger as in all the way from college days through my 30s!)
I am just so glad now that when my teen, early 20s kids come home late at night, I can talk to them with meaning and connection, fully present, remembering everything, listening and taking it in, not slurring my words and embarrassing myself in front of them. I'm just so GRATEFUL to have put that behind me.
It was in no way "harmless" for me at that point, being a wine-drinking mom. I get that it is for many people.. but now I don't enjoy seeing my family or loved ones drinking, and I worry about my kids who are now at and almost drinking age.
Maybe I'm being sanctimonious .. but maybe it's not atypical to go through this in your early months of not drinking? If you don't, it would be too easy, for me anyway, to start thinking it's ok again myself.
Thanks to all for letting me sort this thinking out by writing it. Enjoying hearing everyone's perspective.
Funny thing is I never drank when they were babies and toddlers (when all the mummy needs her 'juice box' stuff is in full force). I NEVER would've dreamed I'd develop a problem in my 40s and 50s, after not being anything but a very casual drinker in my younger days. (Younger as in all the way from college days through my 30s!)
I am just so glad now that when my teen, early 20s kids come home late at night, I can talk to them with meaning and connection, fully present, remembering everything, listening and taking it in, not slurring my words and embarrassing myself in front of them. I'm just so GRATEFUL to have put that behind me.
It was in no way "harmless" for me at that point, being a wine-drinking mom. I get that it is for many people.. but now I don't enjoy seeing my family or loved ones drinking, and I worry about my kids who are now at and almost drinking age.
Maybe I'm being sanctimonious .. but maybe it's not atypical to go through this in your early months of not drinking? If you don't, it would be too easy, for me anyway, to start thinking it's ok again myself.
Thanks to all for letting me sort this thinking out by writing it. Enjoying hearing everyone's perspective.
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